Hello and greetings to my coterie of confidantes, may I whisper in your ear?
I went to my bed feeling quite happy after seeing the dreams and plans of Simon Cowell swallowed up by the great British public and spat out all over the shiny suits and designer dresses that surrounded him on the BGT judges panel. They got it wrong and then in the height of ungraciousness they basically told the world we got it wrong! Amanda Holden couldn't wait to say out loud, Ronan should have won...even Ant and Dec had a little dig at poor old Jai.
I have said it before and I will say it again, if you want to make cash from punters voting don't be surprised if they sometimes remind you whose money it is.
I'm sure Ronan will find himself well looked after and poor Jai will have his day in the sun before joining Joe McElderry, Leon Jackson, Shayne Ward, Michelle McManus and countless others who the fickle British public loved for a little while before something shiny in the corner of the room took our attention and we forgot they ever existed.
Just as an aside, I'm probably the only one who remembers Ron Ely as Tarzan on the telly, but wasn't the little boy he worked with called Jai? I wonder if it is the same boy?
So, that was a nice end to a bad day, bad because I had one of my bouts of heart burn which really knocks the stuffing out of you.
Not being dead after my heart attack left me with a handful of medication that I have to take each day - I'm not alone in this I know, with pills for blood pressure and cholesterol and other things - six tablets a day including the dreaded aspirin.
I have a very delicate tummy and the aspirin irritates it quite badly and causes severe heart burn which is treated by one of the other six tablets I take, but occasionally the tablet seems to give up and the acid wins - the result is not good.
I'm sure that Simon Cowell has a similar feeling this morning....
You really have to be careful what you eat during such a bout but you know you have to eat so that the acid has something to work on other than your gullet. Dry bread with some wafer thin chicken - I really could have murdered a Rich Tea cream finger.
Anyway, feeling much better today, no butter on my crumpets and an extra cup of tea to help dilute the aspirin and let's keep our fingers crossed that it was a one day excursion into the ocean of pain, not the full cruise.
It is on days like today that I reflect how not being dead is quite good, but not as good as being alive - there is a difference.
In recent days some of my associates have been writing about milestone birthdays and how they want to set themselves goals and aim for new targets in their life - I used to think like that but now I think life is to short and unpredictable to be planned in that way - I just want to enjoy each day as best I can. I don't want to set myself up to fail and I don't want to put extra pressure on myself - we are like little fluffy ducklings on the tide of fate - we control so little of our lives that we should embrace where we are and who we are and then the next day do the same. You can maybe swim a little against the tide but be ready to say, OK - I'm here am I - what can I do here?
I still think we should have dreams and we should aspire to those dreams, like Jai, but most of us will be like Ronan, we will fall short and we should take the medicine, accept the occasional bout of pain and move on.
Now, go and have a nice day and remember this:
Life is occupied in both perpetuating itself and in surpassing itself. If all it does is maintain itself, then living is only not dying.
- Simone de Beauvoir