The View from the Hill on Saturday 19th June
Why does it always happen? You are awoken by the bright sunlight streaming into your bedroom, you rise and put the kettle on, go to the window to bathe in the early morning warmth and it suddenly goes cloudy? Bloody summer.
I suppose I could talk about the disaster that was presented by the birthday boy Capello and his overpaid bunch of monkeys but I don't really care enough to get started - so let me talk about another disaster - a fictional one that has won itself a place in cinematic and televisual history.
The Poseidon Adventure - directed by Ronald Neame who has died aged 99. This film was not well liked by the critics when it appeared in 1972, even the director himself didn't think it was that brilliant, but it was a trailblazer, it was the first of the blockbuster disaster movies that can be traced in the lineage of all that followed, including 2012 with its cruise ship crushed by a tsunami moment.
Roland Emmerich & Wolfgang Petersen both took their inspiration from Ronnie but the one thing that the original had which all that followed didn't is that Ronnie knew you had to make the characters grow throughout the whole film - not just have them jump through fire and brimstone. That's why we remember the original, because of Shelley Winters and Ernest Borgnine and Gene Hackman and the very real characters they all played. You don't remember it for the effects that is for sure!
Neame had a great training in British cinema, at 17 he was working for Hitchcock on the very first British talking picture, he worked with some of the greatest actors we ever produced, especially brilliant was his work with Alec Guinness and Maggie Smith. He was a second generation member of the film community and his son and grandson carry on the good work - just look up the credits of his grandson Gareth to see the Neame influence in modern British tv.
I worked for Gareth Neame for half a day - back in 1999 when I was 'man with donkey', in All The Kings Men. That's about as tenuous a link as I can claim to Ronald Neame other than I still never miss an opportunity to watch The Poseidon Adventure whenever I can. In fact, why don't they show it on Wednesday afternoon instead of the football?
RIP Ronnie Neame 1911 - 2010
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Manny Rosen: She has this illusion, always thinks she's too fat.
Belle Rosen: Remember Manny, if I get stuck, push.
The Poseidon Adventure
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Saturday, 19 June 2010
Friday, 18 June 2010
The View from the Hill on Friday 18th June
Well done to my nephew Sam and his band - How To Kill A King - they won the battle of the bands competition they had entered. Very proud making for us all.
My musical talent lies in a superb singing voice which many of you may have heard, but in younger days I did play the bass in a band - not a guitar bass, but the oompah oompah type. I think I was the only one with enough wind to blow the bloody thing.
The one thing about playing the bass is you never get any solo spots, they always went to the showy instruments like the cornet or the trombone, while you just puff along like an old steam train under the melody.
In recent times I had thought about learning to play an instrument, something like the clarinet or even the ukelele, but with my bitten finger nails, I'd more than likely end up with my fingers in shreds on the carpet. So I'll just stick to singing and in fact as I have some time on my hands today I might record another track in celebration of Sam and his victory - in fact I think the time has come for me to release an album and I think it should be an all request album so please send your requests to me. I will consider all requests except the request never to sing again!
England play their second match tonight and Mrs B and I have decided to watch it via the Sky+ again, I have even put a picture of Wayne Rooney on my Facebook page profile so as to be more supportive of the team - so come on England, lose so we can put all this fuss and nonsense behind us and concentrate on the golf from Pebble Beach!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
If music be the food of love, play on,
Give me excess of it; that surfeiting,
The appetite may sicken, and so die.
W Shakespeare
Twelfth Night
Well done to my nephew Sam and his band - How To Kill A King - they won the battle of the bands competition they had entered. Very proud making for us all.
My musical talent lies in a superb singing voice which many of you may have heard, but in younger days I did play the bass in a band - not a guitar bass, but the oompah oompah type. I think I was the only one with enough wind to blow the bloody thing.
The one thing about playing the bass is you never get any solo spots, they always went to the showy instruments like the cornet or the trombone, while you just puff along like an old steam train under the melody.
In recent times I had thought about learning to play an instrument, something like the clarinet or even the ukelele, but with my bitten finger nails, I'd more than likely end up with my fingers in shreds on the carpet. So I'll just stick to singing and in fact as I have some time on my hands today I might record another track in celebration of Sam and his victory - in fact I think the time has come for me to release an album and I think it should be an all request album so please send your requests to me. I will consider all requests except the request never to sing again!
England play their second match tonight and Mrs B and I have decided to watch it via the Sky+ again, I have even put a picture of Wayne Rooney on my Facebook page profile so as to be more supportive of the team - so come on England, lose so we can put all this fuss and nonsense behind us and concentrate on the golf from Pebble Beach!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
If music be the food of love, play on,
Give me excess of it; that surfeiting,
The appetite may sicken, and so die.
W Shakespeare
Twelfth Night
Thursday, 17 June 2010
The View from the Hill on Thursday 17th June
I must apologise in advance for the use of a rude word - but yesterday I couldn't go anywhere without this word jumping out at me. It was everywhere, even in the local paper there were pages and pages where this word was used repeatedly...so I'm sorry but I'm only reporting the story(s) as told to me.
This lovely warm weather has caught some people out, some are wearing their summer clothes, others still frightened of the rain, get caught out in blazing sunshine in heavy jeans and the like - and this can cause some problems. In the local paper there was quite a lot of coverage about cockchafers and I just thought, well, warm weather and the wrong clothes - what do you expect! Then I read on and realised it was actually a story about some beetles that are infesting the gardens of Mansfield, they lay their eggs and you end up with little brown patches in your grass....I used to get that but it wasn't cockchafers it was dog eggs.
Anyhow, talcum powder seems to be the best way to prevent any further problems, talcum and loose cotton underwear.
I came back from visiting a family last evening and was still chuckling when I got in, I explained to Mrs B why. The lady that had died was well into her 80's and her family were telling me that she was a game old bird which was quite apt because she loved to feed the birds in the garden, she even had a trained robin which came when she called. One day her daughter arrived at the house to find her mother stood on the doorstep dressed in her dressing gown, ankle socks, slippers and curlers and at the top of her voice she was shouting "Cock!" She repeated the word several times in quite a desperate fashion and her daughter said to her "for goodness sake Mother - what are you doing?" "I can't find the robin" came her reply.
It turned out that this was the name she had given the little bird and for years she had been standing on the doorstep shouting for cock.
So, there we have it - two cock stories and no balls.
I just realised my dispersible aspirin tastes a bit sweet this morning and I am thinking perhaps I may have dissolved a sweetener instead - which means Mrs B has the aspirin in her tea!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
If the cock does not crow before sunset, either it will rain the next day - or the cock is dead!
Dutch Proverb
(I blame the fox)
I must apologise in advance for the use of a rude word - but yesterday I couldn't go anywhere without this word jumping out at me. It was everywhere, even in the local paper there were pages and pages where this word was used repeatedly...so I'm sorry but I'm only reporting the story(s) as told to me.
This lovely warm weather has caught some people out, some are wearing their summer clothes, others still frightened of the rain, get caught out in blazing sunshine in heavy jeans and the like - and this can cause some problems. In the local paper there was quite a lot of coverage about cockchafers and I just thought, well, warm weather and the wrong clothes - what do you expect! Then I read on and realised it was actually a story about some beetles that are infesting the gardens of Mansfield, they lay their eggs and you end up with little brown patches in your grass....I used to get that but it wasn't cockchafers it was dog eggs.
Anyhow, talcum powder seems to be the best way to prevent any further problems, talcum and loose cotton underwear.
I came back from visiting a family last evening and was still chuckling when I got in, I explained to Mrs B why. The lady that had died was well into her 80's and her family were telling me that she was a game old bird which was quite apt because she loved to feed the birds in the garden, she even had a trained robin which came when she called. One day her daughter arrived at the house to find her mother stood on the doorstep dressed in her dressing gown, ankle socks, slippers and curlers and at the top of her voice she was shouting "Cock!" She repeated the word several times in quite a desperate fashion and her daughter said to her "for goodness sake Mother - what are you doing?" "I can't find the robin" came her reply.
It turned out that this was the name she had given the little bird and for years she had been standing on the doorstep shouting for cock.
So, there we have it - two cock stories and no balls.
I just realised my dispersible aspirin tastes a bit sweet this morning and I am thinking perhaps I may have dissolved a sweetener instead - which means Mrs B has the aspirin in her tea!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
If the cock does not crow before sunset, either it will rain the next day - or the cock is dead!
Dutch Proverb
(I blame the fox)
Wednesday, 16 June 2010
The View from the Hill on Wednesday 16th June
First of all let me apologise to all of you who viewed my little video yesterday, as Mrs B said it is always dangerous when I have too much time and too little to do!
Another such day opens up for me today so goodness only knows what I'll get up to.
I see that Superdrug has withdrawn from sale perfume created by that one woman business phenomenon known as Katie Price - the reason being connected to the manufacture of the perfume bottles.
It has been discovered that they were being made in India by tiny little disabled children who were kept in cages and fed only three baked beans every five days. They were let out for fresh air once a year and shown a picture of the 26p they had earned during that time, 26p which was then sent to their parents after deductions for food and lodging of course. The letter that arrived at the parents home contained a little note saying, "you owe us 84p, but if you send us another tiny disabled child, we will let you off".
Of course, the supremely intelligent Katie Price is now faced with a dilemma - does her love for money outweigh her desire to avoid bad PR? Does she move operations from India to somewhere with a more humane operating standard or does she pack Harvey off to India and claim her 84p?
The two perfumes in question are called 'Sincerity' and 'Faker' and you can wear them separately or you can combine the two of them and you them smell exactly like Katie Price herself.
Don't be surprised if in the next week or so, we see a perfume wearing Katie visiting the slums of India to bring justice and light into the lives of the tiny little disabled bottle makers - or she will start appearing as an advocate to change the system claiming that she was shocked and horrified to discover that such things happen in the world....yes I can see it now and I can smell it too!
Perhaps she can write a novel about it, or a children's book - the story of how one tiny disabled bottle maker fought against the system and managed, through a series of adventures, to make their way to England to see the Princess - only to be handed over to a nanny as the Princess was too busy shagging, pouting and making money. The End.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
“Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery, I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally.”
Abraham Lincoln
.
First of all let me apologise to all of you who viewed my little video yesterday, as Mrs B said it is always dangerous when I have too much time and too little to do!
Another such day opens up for me today so goodness only knows what I'll get up to.
I see that Superdrug has withdrawn from sale perfume created by that one woman business phenomenon known as Katie Price - the reason being connected to the manufacture of the perfume bottles.
It has been discovered that they were being made in India by tiny little disabled children who were kept in cages and fed only three baked beans every five days. They were let out for fresh air once a year and shown a picture of the 26p they had earned during that time, 26p which was then sent to their parents after deductions for food and lodging of course. The letter that arrived at the parents home contained a little note saying, "you owe us 84p, but if you send us another tiny disabled child, we will let you off".
Of course, the supremely intelligent Katie Price is now faced with a dilemma - does her love for money outweigh her desire to avoid bad PR? Does she move operations from India to somewhere with a more humane operating standard or does she pack Harvey off to India and claim her 84p?
The two perfumes in question are called 'Sincerity' and 'Faker' and you can wear them separately or you can combine the two of them and you them smell exactly like Katie Price herself.
Don't be surprised if in the next week or so, we see a perfume wearing Katie visiting the slums of India to bring justice and light into the lives of the tiny little disabled bottle makers - or she will start appearing as an advocate to change the system claiming that she was shocked and horrified to discover that such things happen in the world....yes I can see it now and I can smell it too!
Perhaps she can write a novel about it, or a children's book - the story of how one tiny disabled bottle maker fought against the system and managed, through a series of adventures, to make their way to England to see the Princess - only to be handed over to a nanny as the Princess was too busy shagging, pouting and making money. The End.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
“Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery, I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally.”
Abraham Lincoln
.
Tuesday, 15 June 2010
The View from the Hill on Tuesday 15th June
I think I have a very good job, I find it quite uplifting to be able to help families at a sad time in their lives and there are some families that I have worked for on more than one occasion. There is one family in the Eastwood area who have called on my services five times and we have a great relationship, I am an honorary member of the family.
In the last week I have re-visited two families and conducted funerals for people I had previously met. In both cases the families were down to earth, decent folk - consumed by their loss they looked to each other to get the support they needed to move on. They looked to me to say the things that they felt unable to say themselves about the loss of a parent. This is when my job is the best job in the world.
But it isn't always that good.
Now and then you meet a family who are a little challenging, and such a family has appeared on my radar, a family where each individual member believes that their grief and their memories of a loved one are much more important than anyone else's. A family who question your every question about their loved one and a family who impose such strict guidelines on what can and cannot be said that it just puts you on edge, you dread that you will make a mistake and you just know the shit-storm that will follow will be a doozy.
Normally I could say it was grief, grief is a terrible filter of the truth on occasion, but this is not about grief - this is about ego and self importance and the really sad thing is that this family cannot see that in the midst of their pettiness, the memory of their loved one is being destroyed, the funeral becoming a diplomatic journey around the ego of those who remain rather than a celebration of what was achieved in life.
I will deal with them as I deal with all families, and I hope to deliver for them a funeral which reaches the level of their expectation and does fulfil their needs, but it won't be a funeral I will enjoy preparing and delivering and it will be a funeral that I will be happy to say is out of the way.
I will also guarantee that this family will join a very short list - the list of families who will never see me cross their doorstep again.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Big egos are big shields for lots of empty space
Diana Black
I think I have a very good job, I find it quite uplifting to be able to help families at a sad time in their lives and there are some families that I have worked for on more than one occasion. There is one family in the Eastwood area who have called on my services five times and we have a great relationship, I am an honorary member of the family.
In the last week I have re-visited two families and conducted funerals for people I had previously met. In both cases the families were down to earth, decent folk - consumed by their loss they looked to each other to get the support they needed to move on. They looked to me to say the things that they felt unable to say themselves about the loss of a parent. This is when my job is the best job in the world.
But it isn't always that good.
Now and then you meet a family who are a little challenging, and such a family has appeared on my radar, a family where each individual member believes that their grief and their memories of a loved one are much more important than anyone else's. A family who question your every question about their loved one and a family who impose such strict guidelines on what can and cannot be said that it just puts you on edge, you dread that you will make a mistake and you just know the shit-storm that will follow will be a doozy.
Normally I could say it was grief, grief is a terrible filter of the truth on occasion, but this is not about grief - this is about ego and self importance and the really sad thing is that this family cannot see that in the midst of their pettiness, the memory of their loved one is being destroyed, the funeral becoming a diplomatic journey around the ego of those who remain rather than a celebration of what was achieved in life.
I will deal with them as I deal with all families, and I hope to deliver for them a funeral which reaches the level of their expectation and does fulfil their needs, but it won't be a funeral I will enjoy preparing and delivering and it will be a funeral that I will be happy to say is out of the way.
I will also guarantee that this family will join a very short list - the list of families who will never see me cross their doorstep again.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Big egos are big shields for lots of empty space
Diana Black
Monday, 14 June 2010
The View from the Hill on Monday 14th June
The manner in which a new word can sneak its way into the national lexicon never ceases to amaze me, and the latest word is one that nobody had really heard until the World Cup - vuvuzela.
But now we all know what a vuvuzela is and we know how irritating they can be, we have some wonderful options for new insults to be framed, such as "James Corden at number one - he sings like a really bad vuvuzela"! (That was for Liam).
So from this day forward I challenge you all to find people who are loud, monotonous and irritating and present them with the title - vuvuzela of the week.
The Tony Awards took place in Radio City Music Hall last night with some very nice results for the British including an honorary award for Sir Alan Ayckbourn, supporting actor to Eddie Redmayne and best actor and actress in a musical going to Catherine Zeta Jones and Douglas Hodge. Of course the BBC are not really covering these wins in the same way they would best actor at the Oscars - theatre not as important as film you see.
In fact it was a great day for British wins, in motor racing Hamilton and Button leading the way, in golf Lee Westwood hitting form the week before the US Open - if only the football players could emulate this winning form, we would all go out and buy vuvuzelas - if for no other reason than to drown out the pundits, the commentators and James Corden. (That was for Liam again).
A busy day today, but a quieter week on the whole and hopefully a chance to record some mini podcasts and play with my equipment.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
There won't be trumpets....
Stephen Sondheim
The manner in which a new word can sneak its way into the national lexicon never ceases to amaze me, and the latest word is one that nobody had really heard until the World Cup - vuvuzela.
But now we all know what a vuvuzela is and we know how irritating they can be, we have some wonderful options for new insults to be framed, such as "James Corden at number one - he sings like a really bad vuvuzela"! (That was for Liam).
So from this day forward I challenge you all to find people who are loud, monotonous and irritating and present them with the title - vuvuzela of the week.
The Tony Awards took place in Radio City Music Hall last night with some very nice results for the British including an honorary award for Sir Alan Ayckbourn, supporting actor to Eddie Redmayne and best actor and actress in a musical going to Catherine Zeta Jones and Douglas Hodge. Of course the BBC are not really covering these wins in the same way they would best actor at the Oscars - theatre not as important as film you see.
In fact it was a great day for British wins, in motor racing Hamilton and Button leading the way, in golf Lee Westwood hitting form the week before the US Open - if only the football players could emulate this winning form, we would all go out and buy vuvuzelas - if for no other reason than to drown out the pundits, the commentators and James Corden. (That was for Liam again).
A busy day today, but a quieter week on the whole and hopefully a chance to record some mini podcasts and play with my equipment.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
There won't be trumpets....
Stephen Sondheim
Sunday, 13 June 2010
The View from the Hill on Sunday 13th June
England didn't win the football, we drew, but the way it's being reported in the news this morning it's like the end of the world is nigh!
And why are we blaming the goal keeper, he made a mistake I agree but what about all the shots that didn't go in or all the tackles the defenders failed to make? Where was Rooney?
And the commentary by Clive Tyldesley was quite awful, he started off as the opening whistle blew by saying something like - And did those feet (pause) well it was ancient times when England last won the trophy!
Four years of planning for this day, weeks and endless weeks to decide what pithy remarks to make and he comes up with a piece of crap like that!
Mrs B and I were obviously riveted by the game itself, in fact we were so entranced by the football that it lulled us into a conversation about how you get leather settees mended - and during that little chat we missed the England goal. There again if we had been watching in HD we would have missed it anyway - thanks ITV!
Luckily, we don't have HD, nor de we have an HD tv although I know where there is one that needs a new home (hint). The Sky+ came into its own and we rewound to watch Mr Gerrard put the ball in the back of the net.
The other beauty of Sky+, no Adrian Chiles or pundits - FF'd their boring arses after watching Total Wipeout and recording the football.
After the football, Mrs B and I watched Mamma Mia, we had a good old sing and it cheered us up and I think in future if England have less than perfect results, we should play the movie for the fans to watch and they will no doubt realise that there is more to life than football - there is music and there is Meryl Streep!
I suppose the only draw back with playing Mamma Mia during the world cup is that it might rub salt in the wounds of those deflated fans - because When All Is Said And Done - The Winner Takes It All!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I have a dream
Martin Luther King & Abba
England didn't win the football, we drew, but the way it's being reported in the news this morning it's like the end of the world is nigh!
And why are we blaming the goal keeper, he made a mistake I agree but what about all the shots that didn't go in or all the tackles the defenders failed to make? Where was Rooney?
And the commentary by Clive Tyldesley was quite awful, he started off as the opening whistle blew by saying something like - And did those feet (pause) well it was ancient times when England last won the trophy!
Four years of planning for this day, weeks and endless weeks to decide what pithy remarks to make and he comes up with a piece of crap like that!
Mrs B and I were obviously riveted by the game itself, in fact we were so entranced by the football that it lulled us into a conversation about how you get leather settees mended - and during that little chat we missed the England goal. There again if we had been watching in HD we would have missed it anyway - thanks ITV!
Luckily, we don't have HD, nor de we have an HD tv although I know where there is one that needs a new home (hint). The Sky+ came into its own and we rewound to watch Mr Gerrard put the ball in the back of the net.
The other beauty of Sky+, no Adrian Chiles or pundits - FF'd their boring arses after watching Total Wipeout and recording the football.
After the football, Mrs B and I watched Mamma Mia, we had a good old sing and it cheered us up and I think in future if England have less than perfect results, we should play the movie for the fans to watch and they will no doubt realise that there is more to life than football - there is music and there is Meryl Streep!
I suppose the only draw back with playing Mamma Mia during the world cup is that it might rub salt in the wounds of those deflated fans - because When All Is Said And Done - The Winner Takes It All!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I have a dream
Martin Luther King & Abba
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