Thursday 20 November 2014

Ebola Crisis

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I bought the Band Aid 30 track - it cost me less than £1.

I didn't buy it because it's the best piece of music ever written.


I didn't buy it because I'm a particular fan of any of the musicians and artists performing on it.


I didn't buy it because I admire Bob Geldof and all he has done for charity.




I bought it for Dr Martin Salia and the more than 200 doctors, nurses and health care staff who have died treating this awful disease since June this year.

Dr Martin Salia


I bought it for the heroes like British nurse William Pooley, who having survived Ebola himself, has now returned to Africa to continue his work.

William Pooley being interviewed back in West Africa

I bought it for the countless men, women and children who are suffering and dying each and everyday.






I bought it for less than £1.00 - I then donated a bit more via the DEC appeal. I spent a little of my money with a hope that it might just help a little.

It won't change corrupt governments.
It won't stop many more people dying.

But it might be of use to the medical professionals and volunteers who are putting their own lives at risk for their fellow human beings.

A little money might only make a little difference and when it's all you can do, why not do it?

There are loads of excuses we can make for not doing anything but there is only one good reason to do something...because we can.

It's up to you - you can sit all comfy and cosy with your family and pretend it's not happening  OR  you can spend less than £1.00 and perhaps, PERHAPS, help save a life.





Wednesday 12 November 2014

I'm Still Here

What on earth could have stirred the slumbering Guru and prompted him into action this rain soaked morning?

Football.

I am not a football fan, I will watch the occasional big game but I have a degree of contempt for the influence of money in the game and the lack of sportsmanship often displayed by the overpaid stars.

I'm not judging them all, for example the more I see of David Beckham's charitable work, the more I warm to the man as a decent human being.

The problem is that many of these young men get far too rich, far too young and they just cannot cope with the fame and it leads to all sorts of tabloid stories about extravagant lifestyles and misdemeanours.

Footballer caught speeding - clever barrister will get them off.

Footballer caught cheating on his wife - court orders will keep it off the front page for a while

Footballers biting other players - poor misunderstood lad.

Footballers and drugs/alcohol - you don't understand the pressure!

Footballers complaining about not being respected - get the man a birthday cake!

Footballers playing away - cue the sex tape.


It's all harmless enough I suppose, and who really gets hurt?

Well, sometimes people really do get hurt.



In 2012 Ched Evans was convicted of rape. He served half of his 5 years sentence and was released.

There is an inordinate amount of furore in the media today because he MIGHT be allowed to return to Sheffield United and try and pick up his career.

Frankly, serving such a short sentence for rape seems wrong to me but that's the system we have in this country.

The system also allows that after someone has been convicted and served their sentence they should be rehabilitated enough to rejoin society and fulfil their responsibilities as a law abiding member of that society.

They should find work and support themselves and their families and not become a burden on the state if at all possible.

We don't shun people who have been in prison, if we did what would they all do?

If there was no hope of finding a chance at making a decent life then isn't it more likely they will re-offend?

I'm not saying if Evans didn't play football he would commit further offences but think about this for a minute...how many people working with you or working in places you visit have criminal convictions?

Those who say the victim of Evan's crime will never recover might well be right and it sticks in my throat that he could possibly earn a lot of money for kicking ball about BUT if he was Ched Evans the mechanic or the shelf stacker at Tesco, would there be all this fuss in the media?

I hope he is never allowed to forget his crime, as his victim will never forget, but that should not mean we deny him a chance to live his life within the law.

I'm not defending Evans, I'm defending a system that, although far from perfect, is as good as we can hope for.














Wednesday 13 August 2014

Anyone Can Slay A Dragon...

but try waking up every morning and loving the world all over again. That's what takes a real hero.


Brian Andreas



After lots of thought and consideration of how this post might cause pain to people I care about, I have decided that today I need to defend those who can no longer defend themselves.

There are people I have met and who have become friends and acquaintances because they lost someone who took their own life.

Suicide is a word, and an action, that still polarises opinion and in light of recent events involving Robin Williams, the news and social media have been flooded with opinions.

The one opinion that I find difficult to accept is that Robin Williams was a coward.

I didn't know the man, I only know what has been reported and I suspect that many of those offering their verdict on his actions likewise did not know or understand his pain.

My personal feeling is that he died of depression not suicide but I realise that does not lessen the pain felt by those he leaves behind.

Suicide was the means of his death not the cause.



Many years ago, a man who I was testifying against (at his trail for sexual offences against his own children) killed himself.

He simply jumped off a bridge during the lunch break.

Another young man who I was investigating (for stalking his ex girlfriend and threatening to shoot her) shot himself in the head.

It would be too easy to focus on the criminal aspect of their actions prior to their deaths but actually both were mentally ill.

Over the course of my time as a celebrant I have spoken at many funerals for people who have decided that the life they were living was far more painful than the thought of death.

I just cannot see how their actions constitute cowardice?

Is it because of the way life is ended?

Is it because of the sudden and often violent manner that is chosen?

So let me ask this question of those who feel suicide is the act of a coward...

A man who has been active all his life suffers a brain aneurism and it leaves him able to speak and reason but unable to be the active independent man he always enjoyed being. He feels that life is ended for him and so he talks to his doctors and stops eating and gradually fades away.

He ended his own life.  Was he a coward?

A man who has been a soldier and fought in wars and killed people comes back to civilian life and finds he cannot cope so he takes to drink. Over the course of the next few years he drinks himself into an early grave. Even though the doctors tell him what is happening, he cannot stop the urge to drown his misery with alcohol.

He ended his own life. Was he a coward?


A man has been hiding a secret from those he loves. The secret becomes intolerable to bear and thinking the world will never accept him for who he really is, he chooses to end his life.

He made the choice - was he a coward?



If you think they are cowards then I am a potential coward too because I believe that it is my right to end my life if and when I feel that my life no longer has value.


I don't expect to change opinions today but I cannot let them remain unchallenged, even in my own small way.

I might not have the reach of Fox News but I hope anyone who reads this will know that there are some people in the world who will be very sorry if you end your life but they will never blame you for doing it.





They tell us that suicide is the greatest piece of cowardice... that suicide is wrong; when it is quite obvious that there is nothing in the world to which every man has a more unassailable title than to his own life and person.

Arthur Schopenhauer



























Wednesday 16 April 2014

An Early Easter Message

Some of my friends live life with God. Some do not.

Some have lived with God for many years and some have just found him...that's a game of hide and seek you don't really expect to win against an omnipotent being.

Be honest, if an all powerful master planner who allegedly created the whole earth and everything on it, (even Nigel Farage) didn't want to be found, you'd never find him.

The answer must be that he wanted to be found!

In fact, he probably didn't hide at all. He just stood around long enough and eventually he got noticed.

It's the same with Prince Charles - eventually someone will notice him too.

Anyway, this early Easter message is aimed at all of my friends and will no doubt upset and amuse in equal measure but that would appear to be my role in life - to speak up and ruffle the feathers on the belly of the bird of truth.

Of course, when I refer to the truth I only mean the truth that I create very much in line with the truth that various religions create.

I'm going to re-post a few of my previous easter messages as well as this new missive and I think you will clearly see that although I do make room for other people in my life to believe what they will, I totally reserve the right to question the concept of faith. I have questions...

You all remember Kirk Douglas being nailed to a cross at the end of Spartacus? He and hundreds of other rebellious slaves were crucified by the Romans. Throughout history tens of thousands of people were executed by the Romans and crucifixion was a favourite method. In AD 70, Emperor Titus was nailing up 500 a day!

An interesting point to make here, all of those dead crucified people and yet archaeologists have apparently only ever found one body which shows signs of crucifixion. Why is that?

I'm glad you asked.

It would appear that historically crucifixion was used as a particularly cruel and humiliating way of punishment. The victim would be tied, not nailed, to a cross and the idea was you suffered a long slow death over a few days. Eventually you would become so tired, your head would fall forward on your chest and you would die of oxygen starvation.

To make sure the suffering lasted as long as possible the Romans even put little wooden struts for your feet to rest on. If after two or three days of suffering you were still hanging on, they would break your legs thereby hastening the end as you would no longer be able to support your weight.

After you were dead, you were left to hang until the birds and the animals had picked your bones clean of flesh before the bones were just thrown away...not buried. Burial was deemed a great honour so why honour a criminal who had done something that awful he needed to be crucified?

This explains why no archaeological remains were found of crucified bodies - they were not worth the effort of burying.

I bet you can already see where I'm going with this can't you?

OK - follow my logic. Jesus was allegedly crucified at about 9am in the morning (according to the gospels) and he was dead by 3pm. This was discovered by the soldiers who were sent by Pilate to expedite his demise as the Sabbath was approaching and a crucifixion would have defiled that sacred day.

But the soldiers didn't have to break his legs - as I say, he'd already died. Not three days, just a few hours. The soldiers are reported to have broken the legs of the other two criminals being executed with Jesus.

Here is my question...why execute a man by this slowest form of capital punishment with the Sabbath fast approaching? Why not use one of the many other ways that are so common in the Bible...stoning, burning, beheading? And why did Jesus die so quickly - even Pilate questions this according to the gospels.

And then why break with all tradition and allow this worst of all criminals to be buried - why grant him this honour?

Doesn't make sense.

Now, the resurrection...the first gospel, the gospel of Mark was probably written around AD 70. Six hundred and sixty five verses and only eight mention the resurrection.

Here is an excerpt from the new King James bible...

16 Now when the Sabbath was past, Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James, and Salome bought spices, that they might come and anoint Him. 2 Very early in the morning, on the first day of the week, they came to the tomb when the sun had risen. 3 And they said among themselves, “Who will roll away the stone from the door of the tomb for us?” 4 But when they looked up, they saw that the stone had been rolled away—for it was very large. 5 And entering the tomb, they saw a young man clothed in a long white robe sitting on the right side; and they were alarmed.

6 But he said to them, “Do not be alarmed. You seek Jesus of Nazareth, who was crucified. He is risen! He is not here. See the place where they laid Him. 7 But go, tell His disciples—and Peter—that He is going before you into Galilee; there you will see Him, as He said to you.”


The subsequent gospels take this part of the story and make it more...well, more miraculous!

Here is what Luke wrote some 10 years later...

24 Now on the first day of the week, very early in the morning, they, and certain other women with them,[a] came to the tomb bringing the spices which they had prepared. 2 But they found the stone rolled away from the tomb. 3 Then they went in and did not find the body of the Lord Jesus. 4 And it happened, as they were greatly[b] perplexed about this, that behold, two men stood by them in shining garments. 5 Then, as they were afraid and bowed their faces to the earth, they said to them, “Why do you seek the living among the dead? 6 He is not here, but is risen! Remember how He spoke to you when He was still in Galilee, 7 saying, ‘The Son of Man must be delivered into the hands of sinful men, and be crucified, and the third day rise again.


And finally John, perhaps 20 years after Mark wrote that original account...


But Mary stood outside by the tomb weeping, and as she wept she stooped down and looked into the tomb. 12 And she saw two angels in white sitting, one at the head and the other at the feet, where the body of Jesus had lain. 13 Then they said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping?”
She said to them, “Because they have taken away my Lord, and I do not know where they have laid Him.” 14 Now when she had said this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, and did not know that it was Jesus. 15 Jesus said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you seeking?” She, supposing Him to be the gardener, said to Him, “Sir, if You have carried Him away, tell me where You have laid Him, and I will take Him away.”

16 Jesus said to her, “Mary!” She turned and said to Him,[a] “Rabboni!” (which is to say, Teacher).



Why the need to sex up the story? Well, the truth is that Christianity was still struggling to make a place for itself in the world and the idea of resurrection was just another way of persuading the faithful or the potential faithful to sign up for everlasting life.

What lies at the centre of Christianity is a belief that a physical body can be resurrected.  It's a fulfilment of the promise - without resurrection what is the point of this faith?

That's why the story got more explicit over time - the people in charge realised that this was the hook.  You all get a second chance.

As I say, people are free to believe what they will, but to never question such an obvious twisting of a story so as to make it more appealing seems strange.

You can see how Tony Blair thought he could get away with it...just make the story fit your beliefs.


Whatever your belief or faith, whether in some sort of god or just humanity - please don't forget we have the capacity to think and reason and grow.

For me, what makes being human so precious is that this journey through life is finite. I have no expectation of eternal life and I would hate the idea of missing out on this life whilst I was worrying about the next.

Happy Easter.


http://drew-theviewfromthehill.blogspot.co.uk/2012/04/god-why-dont-you-love-me-blues.html

http://drew-theviewfromthehill.blogspot.co.uk/2011/04/easter-message.html

http://drew-theviewfromthehill.blogspot.co.uk/2010/04/view-from-hill-on-friday-2nd-april-good.html

















Monday 14 April 2014

Clapham Omnibus

You wait around for 8 weeks and then two blogs come along - you lucky people!

(Anyone who reads the words 'you lucky people' and thinks Tommy Trinder, take a bonus point.)

Don't worry, I'm not about to start turning out one a day again - I set myself that challenge once before and when I read back some of the drivel I produced I'm amazed I'm not working as a speech writer for Sooty.

So what stirs the old Guru into action this morning I hear you cry...it's Bubba.

Bubba.

All together....Bubba.

I sat up last night and watched the final round of the Masters golf tournament. It's the only time I ever  get to watch extensive golf coverage these days and thank goodness the final two days were carried on the BBC. I cannot stand the commentary team on Sky Sports and for me golf isn't golf without Peter Alliss and Ken Brown.

Alliss has this wonderful way of being avuncular and curmudgeonly (thanks Vince) and for saying quite inappropriate things which he gets away with as he is now 107 years old.

Ken Brown has a childlike quality and is never happier than when he is rolling his balls across a green or scribbling on a nice picture of the golf course to demonstrate what will happen if he does roll his balls.

Augusta National is a beautiful golf course and treacherous to any golfer who underestimates it, case in point young Jordan Spieth. I had a feeling the 20yr old Texan might win and that appealed to me as  it would have meant that Tiger Woods would no longer be the youngest winner...I'm not a fan of Mr Woods.

Spieth showed his lack of experience at hole 12 and pretty much threw away his chance to win the green jacket.

Meanwhile Bubba, oh yes I said Bubba, overpowered the course in a style all of his own.

Peter Alliss compared him to Lee Trevino but for me there were flashes of Seve Ballesteros too.

Cavalier and unrestrained - I wish I could play golf with such freedom.

Sadly my old body doesn't have the energy to power a drive  300 yards - although I did once win a long drive competition  (245yards) but that was more than 20 years ago.

Anyway, Bubba hit one drive 366 yards...the man is a remarkable golfer and you can't help but like him.

Of course, some people would get a little sniffy about the 'Bubba' aspect. He has referred to himself as a new age redneck, but from all I read of his character and attitude he would appear to be a nice man and isn't it nice when nice people have nice things happen to them?

His birth name is not Bubba, it's Gerry but I think the way he plays golf disqualifies him from such a pedestrian name as Gerry. Bubba sort of suits him.

Of course he has his flaws, he's too religious by far but what do you expect from someone born in the southern states of the good ol' USA?

The story of his family life plus his charity work mark him out as a man to admire - and I'm firmly in this fan club.

So Bubba has his second win at Augusta and later this year he will no doubt be a star player in the US Ryder Cup team.

Now, the Ryder Cup is one of those competitions that again I always try and watch but my rusty old brain didn't serve me very well this year.  I have booked a holiday for the week of the Ryder Cup and I will be out of the country...let's hope the internet is working and the iPad is charged!

Sadly Sky will have the bulk of the coverage so perhaps being on holiday is a good thing as listening to Monty pontificate drives me mad.

I suppose Peter Alliss will eventually have to retire, or maybe he will just quietly pass away with his microphone still clasped to his ancient lips.

I want his final words to be something like -  "Bubba spanks another monster up the fairway - go on you beauty".


















Sunday 13 April 2014

I'm Still Here.

"Good times and bum times, I've seen them all..."


Forgive me my cherubs, it has been almost 8 weeks since my last confession. In that time I have been very naughty but I'm sure you will forgive me because that's what we do in a relationship as special as ours. 

Rising early on this Sunday morning has put me ahead of schedule today so I find I have a small window of opportunity to irritate you all or brighten your dreary lives. It's all about perspective.

As I was taking Mrs B her third cup of tea and her bacon sandwich it occurred to me that I am fast approaching the 17th anniversary of my retirement from the Police. It made me think about the journey I have been on these last 17 years and I posed myself this question...am I continent?

Hang on, I think that should say content not continent but in any case I am (on both accounts).

I have made up a saying, a little quotation for you all to keep as your new signpost in life and that saying is:

      You cannot become who you are without first accepting who you were.

Towards the end of my Police service I was very unwell and I have no doubt that leaving was exactly the right thing to do. There were many issues which I do not want to revisit today but sufficed to say I did not feel that I fitted in with that organisation at that time. I'm sure many people in the organisation would have agreed that I didn't fit in!

17 years later I feel that I am exactly where I should be and I have a life that is fulfilling and I share my journey with people who respect me and accept me for who I am...a miserable old bugger who still manages to make people believe he's loveable. I'm a bit like the old dog who grumbles when you stroke him but can't quite bring himself to bite.

I have come to terms with the past and I no longer fear to examine those memories of tough days as they no longer have any power over me.

Sadly, some of my former workmates are stuck firmly in the past, either revisiting perceived past glories (times were never better) or avoiding dark memories surrounding perceived failures.

I have mentioned in earlier blogs how having George Dixon as a role model didn't really cut it in the  misogynistic and sometimes intolerant world of 1980's British policing.

Looking back at some of the things that were done and covered up in those days still makes me cringe and of course high profile examples are still in the news today - take Hillsborough for example.

I should point out that I worked with many many decent people who gave 100% to the job but sadly there was a minority of officers who made life very difficult for both myself and Mrs B.

Anyway, in the 17 years since we parted company I would like to think that British policing has changed and it certainly does give the impression of being more tolerant and forward thinking.


One thing that has happened in the last 17 years is that I now couldn't care less if people don't like me or cannot accept me for being who I am.

 I used to obsess that 'not fitting in' marked me out as a bad person. (Actually I now strongly believe it marked me out as a better person but I'm too modest to say that.)

So, on this Sunday morning, full of tea and bacon sandwiches, you find a very content man.

I know that to get here, I had to be there.

I know that being there helped create the circumstances that make here such a great place to be.

In reality there are very few differences between who I was and who I am except maybe less hair. And the hair I do have left is grey.  I have a few wrinkles and a few extra pounds too...but I'm still here!

Oh and by the way - if you still don't like me for being who I am, you can BUGGER OFF!








Tuesday 18 February 2014

If God Existed Would She Have A Sense Of Humour?


Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.

Ephesians 5:4



It's been a few weeks since last I invaded your personal space but having a little time on my hands and being poked into action by recent events in the news - here I am!

I hope you are already giving thanks.

Let me first put on record that I still believe that people are free to follow their own path through life - it is their life and their choice. I also believe choices can and should be questioned and I am totally open to any of my friends who wish to poke fun at me for not believing in imaginary gods.

I also want to say that during this blog I might seem to be laughing at a recent death reported in the media - I am not unaware of the distress this bereavement will have caused the family and my examination of the situation is used to poke fun at religion not this tragic death.


Pastor Jamie Coots, the snake handing pastor from Kentucky, died after refusing treatment for a snake bite. His faith was so strong he believed he would not need medical attention. His death is a tragedy for his family and a victory for snakes.

If Pastor Coots had read the bible more closely he would have seen that his actions were not recommended. In fact in Matthew 4:7, Jesus gets quite shirty with Satan about testing daddies unconditional love and protection.


This is another case of the stupidity of mankind and considering Pastor Coots believed we were made in the image of his god, it doesn't say much for the big kahuna.

I suppose any real sadness at Pastor Coots demise will be short lived as the true believers will now picture him sat in heaven, eternally loved and safe from his own actions as snakes are not allowed in.

I know you are not supposed to question faith, you should just accept and bleat meekly then follow the furry bottom of the lamb in front of you, straight into the meat factory.

Well, I can't do it. I have questions...so many questions.

Let's start with the bible - the book that has been rewritten and translated so many times and each time adapted for the needs of the translator. Why do some people still take every word literally? And how do those who only go on about Jesus divorce the two testaments so quickly when they are about the same god?


Some people still believe in creation, as written in the bible...god created every animal, bug, virus and even the people that appear on Jeremy Kyle. So if god created poisonous snakes and gave then a rattle to warn men to keep away - why would you question his/her plan and pick one up?

The bible is full of rules for life - rules that if you follow and obey might see you survive long enough  to learn about how dangerous snakes are.

Rules for working - but also for resting.

The bible tells us we should be stoned for working on the Sabbath.

Rules for happy marriages.  Adulterers should be put to death, by stoning.

Rules for keeping god important in your life. Blasphemers will be put to death...you guessed it. Stoning!

Rules for keeping livestock in line. Oxen that kill people.  Stone them to death. Surely that's just an excuse for a barbecue at the wake?

Women who falsely claimed to be virgins on their wedding night - stone them.

People who worship Thor - stone them.

Children who disobey their parents - stone them.

Do you think it possible that the original authors of the bible had shares in a stone business?

Rules for employment -  slavery is OK as we need someone to gather the stones.


I always believed that the bible is a book of its time not a book for all time.

The 'love' bit, the Jesus bit, well that almost seems to be written as an antidote for the hate and fear that shine out of the 'old testament'.

But it's all one book, all written about the same vengeful god and yet the clever resourceful church now gets you to focus just on Jesus...Jesus saved me, Jesus is love.

Hold on, isn't Jesus the son of the spiteful chap who likes throwing rocks at people according to the book about Jesus?

Didn't Jesus do all he did because he believed in the love of his father - according to the book about Jesus?

Or is it now the way with modern religion that we take the concept of Jesus and talk about the message of love and deny its progenitor?

Matthew 5:17 - Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. (Jesus)

At least Jesus had the decency to admit that he believed and supported all that had gone before, that is according to the book about Jesus.

In Matthew 15 he even reprimands the Pharisees for not killing disobedient children as per the rules...pass me a bucket of stones please, the kids won't turn off the X Box and go to bed.

Can you see why I have questions about faith?

Jesus died on a cross and rose again and we are just supposed to believe it as an absolute truth?  And that truth is supposed to bring us comfort in death, because we can all aspire to a life after death.

Well, my path is the one which is about life before death.

I think it possible to love your fellow man without god (any god) or Jesus (or any other prophet) being involved.

I think it possible to look at the world with a sense of awe without thinking somebody must have made it.

I think it possible to find purpose in life without some eternal reward...you can do the right thing because it is the right thing to do!

And I KNOW without doubt, that if I ever see a snake I will NEVER pick it up.


























Friday 10 January 2014

That Friday Feeling

Greetings my little band of loyal, yet slightly daft followers. Welcome to Friday evening.

My plan is to get myself on the outside of a nice portion of fish and chips, a glass or two of red wine and then relax in front of a roaring fire.

It's been a long day at the office and for once I have decided to share a few thoughts about my very serious work so please don't read this if you're expecting silly jokes and buggering about, this blog entry is about life and death.

One of the funerals I officiated at today was for a very popular man, his name is Malc, and there must have been 500 people in attendance. His son, his brother, his best friend and his wife all stood up and spoke about their loss and as I witnessed their very personal and emotional tributes I was reminded that love is a fantastic resource from which we can draw great strength.

Malc was a great believer in positivity - he believed that taking control of that part of life over which we have some dominion, is extremely important. His efforts paid off and this was certainly one of those occasions when we celebrated not just a life but an attitude to life.

When you get to assist a family with the creation and delivery of such a powerful and life affirming ceremony, you do feel a little bit better about yourself. You know that you are doing something useful with your time and the meagre talents you have acquired. (False modesty is a talent I have perfected.)

The world is a poorer place because cancer claimed  Malc at the age of 55. He was an inspiring character but his immortality is secure in all the good he did for others and the wonderful loving family he leaves behind.

As I waited to begin that ceremony, I was able to witness the ceremony that preceded us. It too was being led by a celebrant...no names for reasons that will become apparent.

Now, I think we all know by now that I am secure in my belief that god and heaven and all that malarky is a fairy tale. The ceremonies I offer, however, do not dwell on philosophical arguments  about faith and religion because I do not see it as my job to tell people what to think or believe.

There will always be people with varying views on life and death sat in front of me and I always try and make sure they are given a chance to express this in someway even if it only be via a moment of silent reflection when people can lower their heads and pray.

If a family ask me to include the Lord's Prayer, I will include it but only after making them aware that I do not believe the words have any power. For example, let me quote you a section from a funeral I conducted today...

"When asked about religion he said he had none - but as a caring son we feel he would not object to the inclusion of the Lords Prayer,  as he would know it brings great comfort to his 89 year old mother"


This is how I can feel comfortable including a religious aspect into a non religious ceremony. It's my way and I don't object to other celebrants/officiants finding a different way. (That's a lie as you will find out now).

Anyway, back to the ceremony I witnessed earlier today. I heard the officiant speak for the final fifteen minutes of his allotted time and during that time (half of the time we have available to us) he mentioned the name of the deceased just once.

The rest of the time he spoke about himself, his own beliefs, his own hopes for an afterlife...it was in fact a sermon. He actually said at one point how ridiculous it is to think that there is no afterlife - 'how can anyone believe that when we die it all just ends' or words to that effect. He then admitted that although he knew the man who had died was not religious, it was basically his hope that he find peace with the Lord. 

It made me feel very uncomfortable listening to a man who claims to deliver non religious ceremonies proselytising and then putting his own beliefs before those of the deceased. 

As a funeral officiant or celebrant I believe my job is to serve the family and the memory of the deceased. It is not my job to provide the mourners with anything other than a chance to remember, reflect and celebrate the unique nature of a human life. I have nothing to sell and I certainly would never dream of standing up and saying anyone who believes in god is wrong...well not at a funeral anyway.

I am a Humanist, I sometimes do get a chance to explain  what that means to me after a ceremony ends. People sometimes get confused though and often I get referred to as a Humorist but today after a funeral a man said to me "that's the first one of those funerals I've been too - you're a Hypnotist aren't you?"

I am not a hypnotist, I don't claim to have any powers, real or imagined. I don't claim that any words I utter bring peace and happiness into the life of a family devastated by death. I just want to say enough words to get them safely through the toughest day of their lives. I want to say nice things about nice people - but sadly not all people are 'nice'.

Here was another challenge today - to say something 'nice' and helpful about a young man whose life was tragically cut short but whose loss to the world might be considered less important than some others.

Being non judgemental is a must in my job - actually, that's a lie. You can be judgemental to some extent but you must not let your judgement steer your course. 

This lad, who was described to me as "a bad un",  left behind a grieving mother and a girlfriend expecting their first child. The mother loved her son and she admitted she always felt a little less concerned about him when he was safely locked up in prison.

You see, not everyone can have the powerful influence on this world that Malc did, but no matter the life you live, no matter the 'mistakes' you make - hopefully somebody loves you.

And hopefully someone like me will be there to stand up and find the right words to help a grieving family say goodbye, words that are about the person in the box, not ourselves. 

Each human life is unique and so therefore special to those who share it - for good or ill. That should be our focus and today I was reminded why. 



Enjoy your weekend.






























Wednesday 1 January 2014

The Undiscovered Country

There was no other way to start 2014 than with a Star Trek reference, although of course it was borrowed from Shakespeare.

It is part of the soliloquy that Hamlet delivers beginning with the words "To be, or not to be".

In Star Trek they allude to the future being an undiscovered country, a place to which we can journey without expectation.

Of course, every man and his dog is today making resolutions for the year ahead hoping to take as much control of the future as possible.

Whether it’s about diet, health or new relationships I understand the desire to make the first step into a new year a positive one - life is all about attitude sometimes. If we find a positive note to help us move forward the journey sometimes becomes all the easier but then something might happen to knock us off course - we might not keep to the promise we made ourselves to try harder to exercise or give up smoking, or in my case fish fingers! (only joking - I will NEVER give up fish fingers).

We should also recall that there is actually much of life that is beyond our control, like a leaf caught in the wind we just get blown along.

Please remember that when things don't go according to plan or when you have that first stumble, don’t feel too bad - being human means that we are liable to get it wrong sometimes...

If we allow the negative thought of our perceived failure to take hold we are less likely to regain our forward momentum - I believe we should not define ourself by our failures.

The Japanese have a wonderful saying - fall down seven times, get up eight.

Having a positive attitude is the key - each journey begins with the first step, but the attitude we bring to that step and all that follow will be the force that determines its direction its joy its value.

As you might know, I'm already on bonus time having almost 'shuffled off this mortal coil' some five years ago.

I have to remind myself occasionally how even a really bad day of life is better than that "sleep of death" especially when I don't believe that sleep will offer what Shakespeare wrote:  "To sleep, perchance to dream".

Are you fed up of the Hamlet yet?

So, my year ahead - a 30th wedding anniversary for Mrs B and myself, a first birthday for Polly - and I do have to say that becoming 'Camp-Pa' has really been a highlight of my whole life not just the past year.

There will be other days, good news and bad news will come my way I'm sure.

I have every intention of standing on a stage and dusting off my acting boots, I have every intention of enjoying a great holiday and of playing some golf.

I would like to spend time with those people who are important to me.

I would like to carry on dispensing wisdom as only I can and being a thoroughly miserable old bugger!

Having said all of that I know that the road ahead is not mapped out that easily, this journey will inevitably end (although Mrs B will not forgive me if I pop my clogs anytime soon).

My attitude will be as positive as possible and I will try and infect others with the attitude that a day of life should be treasured and used. None of us are promised tomorrow - there is no day but today!

There is paragraph I may well have quoted before but as you all prepare to journey to your own undiscovered countries in 2014, I give it to you all as a gift. Consider it, discard it, use it - no strings attached.

"I will leave this earth knowing that I did not do all I had to do, but I hope that whatever I leave behind will say that I cared: that it’s quality was not compromised, that I gave it my best and that occasionally my best was enough to give a bit of life the honour it was due".

Robert Sexton


It is my most fervent hope that all of you have a brilliant year...a year spent making memories and giving your life the honour it is due.

Live long and prosper.