Saturday 14 May 2011

When is a book not a book?

Answer - when it's the Bible.

It's been a strange week my children, strange and quiet. Mrs B was in Spain for a few days, tracking down Nazi war criminals which is a hobby she picked up when she got fed up of knitting.

Now to more serious matters, the week started with a discussion on the telly about the value of the Bible, and it still makes me laugh and cry in equal measures that some people take the words written in that book as an absolute truth.

For me the Bible is a collection of stories, all written by different hands, which makes it an ideal source for quoting odd lines that seem to back up how we feel about different things. Does that make sense?

Let me expand - Mansfield is a place full of tension at the moment as a young local man was murdered last week and the alleged offenders are Eastern European immigrants. The outpouring of hatred towards them on a Facebook site was quite sickening. Ignorance, anger and threats of revenge and at one point we had the usual Biblical quote used to excuse this attitude - 'an eye for an eye'.

My guess would be that if you asked the contributor of those five words which book of the Bible they were taken from, or even to expand the quote, they would not have been able to answer.

They also forget that elsewhere in the Bible the main man, Mr Jesus, rejects this quote and offers instead this advice 'If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also'.

There are also many who have offered their own take on 'an eye for an eye', Gandhi and Martin Luther King both suggesting all these eyes being destroyed only makes the world blind.

The angry, and perhaps rightly very angry contributors of this hate talk also quoted the old Mafia phrase, 'revenge is a dish best served cold', - so I would offer to them Romans 12:19

'Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord'.

They don't want to hear this message of course because it does not fit in with their state of mind nor their perceptions of what is wrong with our country and our town.

The truth is a very complicated thing, and part of the truth of this situation is that many do feel dispossessed of their own future and perhaps some feel a little angry with themselves because the young immigrants that have moved to the area are in employment.

Another of the vitriolic comments was ' they come over here and take our jobs' - I leave you to ponder these words and the implications for those who are born in Mansfield, fail to get the best from their education and then fail to find a job either through a lack of qualifications, willingness to work or lack of opportunity.

I think anger is a proper response to the loss of life in these circumstances, I fully understand how a family will be consumed with all of the emotions that come with grief - but some of the people who have written on the Facebook site did not even know the victim, yet they felt compelled to express their own hostility towards others, ignoring the request made by the family for calm and reflection.

The family have shown considerable dignity in their loss and it is a shame that angry and racist comments were attached to their tribute to a lost loved one.

My feeling is that the people who wrote the words were angry and racist before this awful murder and that they will never change their opinion, but they feel justified in their actions because the Bible says
'an eye for an eye'.

Finally let me offer these words, they are not from the Bible but they are from a book and by my token should be as equally valued as any words from any book:

'Do not hurt where holding is enough, do not wound where hurting is enough, do not maim where wounding is enough, do not kill where maiming is enough'

Stephen Donaldson - Lord Fouls Bane

Tuesday 10 May 2011

Sleep Tight

...and mind the bedbugs don't bite. This was one of the ways we were despatched to our beds as children, not that we had bedbugs, we were too poor for bedbugs. Instead of bedbugs our parents used to fetch a baby rat in from the coal shed and let it nibble our toes. We would fall asleep immediately, fearful of the rat making progress up the bed if we didn't close our eyes.

Going to bed was known as 'climbing the wooden hill to Bedfordshire' and in those far off days of my childhood, we would take care that our candles did not set fire to the counterpane. Continental quilts indeed! Mr Edward Heath has a lot to answer for with his Common Market and his fancy bed coverings.

Now, I can hear you all gasping with amazement that The Guru has enough energy at this time of night to set finger to keyboard, well I can tell you my fingers are full of energy and could easily have been put to another use but I am alone in the house and I needed the company - and it was either communicate with my little horde of slightly deluded followers or talk to the spider in the bathroom, whose name is Ethan.

I call him Ethan in honour of the Tom Cruise character in the film Mission Impossible - do you recall the scene when he descend from the roof into the vault, well that's how Ethan the spider arrived in front of me in the bathroom. I'm afraid he gave me quite a shock and I nearly messed myself - luckily I was in the right place and it all turned out for the best.

Yes, alone in the Guru Presidential palace whilst Mrs B is in Spain, drinking cheap gin and talking to bull fighters I'm sure.

The house feels very empty, there is nothing on the telly as I refuse to watch Alan Sugar so here we are, getting on for half past ten and I have taken my tablets and now I sit alone and ponder.

I don't want you to feel sorry for me, my dear kind friends, I am quite OK really - but it does remind me of how lucky I am to have someone to share my life with. My heart goes out to all of you who have to live alone for whatever reason.

Now this is getting a little maudlin and I don't want sad little faces as you all tuck yourselves in for the night - so go, be happy and remember as Harry Connick said - it's better to be happy in a cardboard box than live alone in a castle...

Sunday 8 May 2011

Reflections

It's been a hell of a week my little flock of starlings - a hell of a week, with elections and the ongoing Bin Laden saga and ending with the death of Seve Ballesteros.

In relation to the elections, well the country will get what it voted for - which is the Tories pretty much having free rein for the rest of time, as Nick Robinson quoted many times in the news, 'be careful what you wish for'!

The urge to punish Clegg has really put Cameron in a very strong position, nobody really believes that Labour can govern until they become credible in fiscal terms - banging on about how you don't like what the others are doing is not a long term agenda nor a platform from which to get elected in 2015. No, the Tories are here to stay - I predict we will see them in power until 2020.

Bin Laden is still dead - but the news of his death is alive and well and filling our news coverage. Enough already!

The battle now seems to be about how we should have treated him with more common decency, more respect - because in acting as we have we have shown ourselves (The West) to be no better than him.

Let me think about that...'bollocks' is my considered response...if you take him prisoner you have hostages being taken all around the world to try and bargain for his release - the world is a better place without him, not necessarily a safer place I agree, but his loss is something we should not lose sleep over.

We are changed because of terrorism, we have to accept restrictions on our freedoms to protect those freedoms - in an ideal world we would have tried him, found him guilty and locked him away for the rest of his life - in an ideal world there would be no terrorism!

Locking him up would have made him the centre of attention and a new hero for the fanatics, just as moderate Islam is reasserting itself.

Bin Laden did not have respect for the law therefore he should not be allowed to avail himself of its protection.

I have the urge to apply this rule to people who break the speed limit or smoke in restaurants - send in Special Forces and blow them away.



In 1996, myself and two friends managed to play a round of golf at Royal Lytham & St Annes Golf Club - it was about a week before the 1996 Open and the course was immaculate and the empty stands all stood awaiting the crowds. They would witness Tom Lehman win on that historic bunker strewn course, as many had witnessed other great champions crowned in the past, Bob Charles, Gary Player and of course Seve.

As I made my par 4 down the final hole, the empty stands echoed with the faded roars of smiling patrons as they witnessed the flashing blade of Ballesteros conjure magic from impossible positions - he was majestic and he was charismatic.

In 2009, during an interview with Peter Alliss, Seve asked people not to recall the illness he was suffering, but the great joy and fortune of his life - he didn't want tears he wanted smiles.

His brother, who was at his side as he died, is reported to have spoken about how he held Seve by the hands, and as he passed away thought 'what these hands have done in the world' - the hands, the smile, the whole package - my par four at Lytham on that day was achieved partly because I had grown up watching Seve play - he was inspiring.

Well, time to go and make toast for Mrs B.

Have a nice day, have a good week and just think about the smiles you will make in your life.