The View from the Hill on Saturday 26th June

Considering that I wasn't going to watch the World Cup, I have found myself following a few matches, usually because I'm too tired to reach for the remote and turn on a repeat of something else.

The skill level of some of the players is remarkable but then you are reminded just what cynical cheating arse-holes most of them are - for example, in slow motion you can see exactly what the contact has been prior to a player writhing in agony on the grass and usually you see that footballers must have a very very low pain threshold! You see it all the time, screaming in agony trying to make it seem worse than it is and the only reason is to get the other player sent off - very sporting.

Taking a throw-in too, you see where the ball goes out so you get the ball and you stand at that point on the sideline and then you hold the ball over your head and walk towards the opponents goal for at least ten feet before you throw it - that's gamesmanship apparently. No it's cheating.

And they do it all without shame and in the knowledge that footballers have become so powerful they can get away with it. Because even if they are sent off they still get paid, they may have a fine to pay but nothing that will begin to dent their millions in the bank.

The argument is that their working life is so short, they have to earn as much as they can whilst young - bollocks, what's to stop them getting another job when they retire from football in the same way anyone else might have to look for another job?

They are paid too much and they get paid without having to deliver results - perhaps it should be more like Wimbledon, the more you win the more you get paid.

Cynical, cheating arse-holes, overpaid and not proud to be representing their country, not proud to be carrying the hopes and dreams of the countless fans who can never aspire to such heights of fame and wealth - I doubt Wayne Rooney even knows the words of the Anthem let alone feels pride enough to sing it - all they want is the personal glory of winning because it makes them more saleable and pushes the price up when they prostitute themselves on the football market.

The beautiful game is quite ugly really.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Footballers are role models

Thierry Henry

The View from the Hill on Friday 25th June

As we approach the first anniversary of the death of Michael Jackson, the conspiracy theorists are in full bloom, especially LaToya Jackson. Is it just me, or does she look like  plastic doll that's been left too near a fire?

Anyway, she claims that her brother was killed for his music, that he was worth more dead than alive - and I do agree with her that alive he was worthless.

I can also reveal that it is very likely that we will discover MJ was actually killed by the well known and yet totally mysterious professional killer known as The Fox - yes it was the Fox what did it!

I witnessed an incident yesterday which reminded me why I love my job - I watched a vicar during a funeral as he negotiated his way through the ceremony, never lifting his eyes from the book he clasped in his hands. His monotone voice was like the drone of a bee falling asleep after eating too much honey.

It reminded me why I hate religion, the delivery of words in some pre-destined format being more important than speaking to the people present and offering them some support at an awful time. There was no engagement at all.

I think the idea of religion is brilliant but it has been corrupted by priests, vicars and the like - in fact I would go as far as to say I would love to belong to any religion which didn't have priests or a deity.

Anyway, got to go now and have my ears lowered...

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


Don't you know, priests, why our sermons do not touch the people's heart? Because we do not preach to the eyes, only to the ears.

Antonio Vieira

The View from the Hill on Thursday 24th June

And so Germany appear on the horizon like some sick joke - yes England you managed to scrape through the first round but now -  "ve are vaiting".  In his dreams Rooney hears the words 'missed penalty' whispered over and over again in a German accent.

England play Germany on Sunday afternoon and hopefully by that point the tennis match between John Isner and Nicolas Mahut will have ended - as it stands they are 59 games all in the fifth set, having played for ten hours. That set is longer than any other tennis match in history and the great joke is that the BBC gave the commentary to Ron Mackintosh, his first ever tennis commentary after years of commentating on boxing - quite apt really because this is a real battle.

Had a lovely walk last evening around Garibaldi woods - great fun watching Lottie and Ramsay have a swim but got really fed up of the flies of which there many. At one point we walked into this field and as you stood and looked around you couldn't see or hear Mansfield at all and I noted that if you were dropped blindfolded at that point, you would have no idea where you were. Mansfield is such a dour town, with many run down streets, and people - but on the doorstep we are lucky to have some beautiful countryside.

So if you are feeling a little dour - get your arse out into the countryside and battle your way through the flies to spend some time in the beauty of gods creation....sorry, the beauty of evolution.

++++++++++++++++++++++++

Fate is for those too weak to determine their own destiny

Kamran Hamid

The View from the Hill on Wednesday 23rd June

Happy Anniversary to Mrs B and myself - 26 years of married life and she still can't get me to do the ironing.

Her expectations have lessened and she doesn't even ask me to iron the handkerchiefs anymore - and I was pretty good at ironing square things like hankies and tea towels.

The budget went off quite well I thought, Mrs B gets a pay freeze and we will pay more in VAT in the new year but the increase in the personal allowance will off-set that a little. I'm quite happy to join George Osbourne in this crusade to reduce the deficit and to crush the disabled and the poor, it can only mean one thing, less of them will be able to shop in Tesco freeing up valuable space for the middle class shoppers slumming it there, as they can't afford Waitrose anymore.

But seriously, people will have to think about budgeting and perhaps cut down on the drugs and alcohol and cigarettes and buy their children a vegetable instead.

But seriously, seriously, we will all have to tighten our belts and make do and mend - it's that blitz spirit that the English are so well known for - when we are down, the Churchillian aspect of our nature surfaces and as the Frog Chorus put it so well, we all stand together! Oh Yes!

This is how we will respond, this is what we will do, England expects...to be on the plane home at about 6pm tonight.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

England expects that every man will do his duty

Admiral Horatio Nelson.

The View from the Hill on Tuesday 22nd June

Budget, budget, budget....

Football, football, football...

Budget, budget, budget....

Football, football, football...

Budget, BP, budget...

Football, Football, Christine Bleakley...

BP, budget, budget

Football, foxes, football...

Budget, budget, and now the news where you are....

Hello I'm Anne Davies and this is Dominic Heale and here is the news for the East Midlands...first a report about how the owner of a BP garage in Leicester asked Christine Bleakley about how footballers will cope with the cuts made during the budget.

(SCREAM).

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

But better die than live mechanically a life that is a repetition of repetitions.

DH Lawrence

Ending of the Wicker Man 1973

The View from the Hill on Monday 21st June

The longest day - the summer solstice and no doubt the Druids are already in full swing at Stonehenge.

The Solstice celebrations in Mansfield had to be cancelled as we couldn't find a virgin to sacrifice - apparently she is on holiday in Benidorm.

There is something to celebrate today, the start of Wimbledon and a sporting event we can watch without any real expectation of an English victory - because we have no one playing! Andy Murray is Scottish so he doesn't count.

The England football team is about to implode and it does seem that the time has come for us, as a Nation, to accept that we are not very good at winning things, we have lost our edge. Never mind though - it could be worse, we could be in the midst of an economic crisis which means major pubic spending cuts...wait a minute, what's this...we won something - British golfer wins US Open, first man to do so in 40 years! Well done Graeme McDowell from Northern Ireland.

So, still not an English victory - the last Englishman to win the US Open was Tony Jacklin and he was from Scunthorpe - that's proper English!

You never know, all this fuss around the football team might actually stir them into action and we might see a good game on Wednesday...more chance of finding another virgin in Mansfield!

Have to go now as I have promised to provide a few gerbils for the miniature wicker man they are going to burn instead of the virgin. Come to think of it, if Capello and his bunch of performing monekys fail to win on Wednesday, we can have a full size wicker man and there will be a queue to throw petrol on them.

+++++++++++++++++++++


Summer is a-coming in
Loudly sing cuckoo
Groweth seed and bloweth mead
and springs the wood anew
Sing cuckoo!

The View from the Hill on Sunday 20th June

I really don't feel like blogging today - the house is quiet, too quiet and I have nothing of value to say.

I know it never stopped me before - but today it...


++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

...feels like a house with all the children gone.

Star Trek III