Friday 11 March 2011

I Have An Electric Boot!

It's true! It's true! The Crown has made it clear...

Sorry, a little Camelot outburst got me, but it is true, I do have an electric boot - on the borrowed car I am driving at the moment.

Now I understand how, with hands full, the quick press of a button on your key fob will enable you to deposit your burden into the boot, the lid rising majestically at your control but how lazy and incompetent do you have to be to then have a separate button to press which lowers the boot again?

The car also has bluetooth for your mobile phone so you talk through the radio - it's all a bit technical but one thing is for sure, it runs the battery down on your phone too quickly.

The car even has a little flashing light which displays a number from 3 to 6 and it took me a little while to understand it was advising which gear you should be in.

Eventually they will design a car that does not need a driver, nor passengers - there will be countless empty cars roaming the streets looking for parking spaces.

But why do you have this new car I hear you ask...my own chariot is in the hands of the mechanics undergoing the surgery I spoke about last week, fly wheels and clutch.

Yesterday I arose early and drove to Derby to do the swap over, then quickly back home to get changed before driving to Lincoln then Grantham, then Lincoln and home arriving at about 8.15pm.

I had managed to find a small window in my schedule that allowed me to call in at our favourite chinese restaurant, The Ocean, in Lincoln. After nibbling a few prawn crackers, I dispatched a spring roll and then devastated a Kung Po chicken.

When I did get home, the house was empty but for our two doggie lodgers, Mrs B was off at the theatre drooling over Anton Du Beke.

I put the telly on and watched the end of a concert filmed in 1973, it was the great Marlene Dietrich. Aged about 72, sewed into a skin tight dress, she lisped her way through her catalogue of songs and gave a performance that only she could get away with.

She was never happy with the results of this taped concert but she did get paid £250,000, which was a lot of money back in the early 1970's.

It reminded me of a great night that Mrs B and I had in the theatre, we went to the Theatre Royal in Lincoln to see Sian Phillips in a play about Dietrich, simply called Marlene. Phillips was brilliant, and it had to be about the best thing I ever saw done on that stage - with the possible exception of Tony Fielding-Raby in La Cage.

Of course all the shows I did on that stage were breathtaking - but I didn't see them so I can't comment.

So, it was a long day and today will be equally busy and then I must rescue my car and give up the one with the electric boot.

It also has sliding rear doors so in short...

there's simply not, a more congenial spot, for happily-ever-aftering than here in Camelot.
       
Bloody Camelot-itis now!

Wednesday 9 March 2011

How many Dicks do you know?

Hi Di Hi

Whilst watching Breakfast TV this morning, I noted the appearance of Richard Westcott, reporting on the demise of the public toilet - as I have already stated elsewhere, with his scruffy beard and clothing and in the manner with which he nonchalantly leaned against the toilet door, he gave the impression of a French rent boy.

It got me thinking about other Richard's famous or not - that have crossed my path.

I have a brother called Richard, he is not famous - yet. He did have his moment in the spotlight as a boy soprano. My mother wept tears of joy as he stood before the congregation and sang the opening verse to Once In Royal Davids City for a Christmas carol concert. His singing career petered out after appearing as one of Fagin's gang in a production of Oliver.

Being from Mansfield I must mention Richard Bacon, now I don't know Mr Bacon but I have met his mum and dad, does that count?

Last night I heard Miriam Margoyles on the Graham Norton show stating her dislike for the late Richard Harris - he was grumpy apparently.

Now Richard Widmark looked grumpy but was a very nice man by all accounts and then I recalled Richard Whitleley but after that I started to run short of famous Richards.

Oh wait, Richard Roundtree just jumped into my mind - he was the original Shaft of course...

And another flash - many years ago Mrs B and I were on holiday and we happened to be in LA on the day that Little Richard was being given his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame - didn't meet him but we got close enough to see that it was really him, or what was left of him after all the plastic surgery.

Dick Dastardly - but he was a cartoon character...

Dick Sargeant - from Bewitched...

suddenly all these dicks were flashing in my head!

But there must be more so how to jog my memory and dredge up some more names - I know, the internet....


Dear Readers, please take my advice and  type "famous Richards" NOT "celebrity dicks" in your search engine. I got quite a shock.

I am going to leave you now to come up with your own Richards and Dicks.

Enjoy.