Royal Wedding Part 2

Morning campers - how many hangovers?

Let's just put it out there and see what happens....the wedding was a triumph and just for a brief shining moment the rest of the world disappeared and Britain put the Great back where it belongs.

Even the most cynical cynic could not fail to see how much love William and Catherine have for each other - and you can quibble all day about the cost and the need for a royal family but it seems to me it was worth every penny and they will repay us one hundred times over with their service to this nation.

Now this might seem a big turn around for the M.O.B and I can readily admit that I was determined not to watch, the idea of the media frenzy and the silly people on the street saying silly things about Diana just made me cringe - but then as I got in the car after a work appointment, I turned on the radio as I always do and out came the voice of Edward Stourton and the next thing I was listening to the vows being exchanged and joining in as the congregation sang Love Divine.

The use of the music was what finally did me in - when the couple went to sign the register and we heard Parry's Blest Pair of Sirens, I realised how emotional I felt about this piece of history being created before my very ears.

I tried to put on a brave face, a miserable front for when I got home but it was too late - the happiness had found my hiding place and I watched the whole thing as Mrs B had recorded it!

Watching the guests arrive and finding myself commenting on hats and dresses was the final straw - I will be burning my M.O.B tee shirt this afternoon.

As for the guests well the first one I saw and recognised was David Beckham - and what a handsome chap he is - why he is married to that ugly giraffe when he could have Miss Twillets is beyond me!

Elton John looked like he was over inflated, Lady David John looked smart.

Tara Palmer Tompkinson - stunning.

Beatrice, Eugenie - looked like they lost their way when shopping for wedding frocks, ended up in a circus supplies shop - dreadful.

Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge was elegant and radiant not forgetting the bridesmaid - all eyes on her sister Pippa, she certainly won't need to advertise for suitors anytime soon!

I'm starting to gush now and it's not pretty so, enough said. I hope the couple have a long and happy marriage, I hope they get a chance to raise a family and do all the things they should do before duty calls them to the throne - come on Chuck, live as long as your grandmother!

I hope the first child they have is a girl and that the stupid rules about succession will be changed and I hope that Catherine is allowed to be human because it is one way that the monarchy will stay relevant in our changing society.

We don't need another Diana, one was enough - so in one last throw of the M.O.B dice, let me say to you all - wake up sleepy heads, the fairy tale wedding is over - now let them have their life and you drift back the dull reality of yours.

That feels better - where's my tee shirt!

Royal Wedding

I am sticking my head out from the protective cocoon of my self imposed isolation just to wish all of you a nice day as you sit in front of your television sets to watch William and Catherine say 'I do'.

I'm sure the happy coupe will be just that and I hope the press will back off and let them lead a private life until the day comes when they have to step up and rule over us as King and Queen.

The trouble is you won't let that happen - you want to know everything about their lives because their lives are so much more fulfilling than your own - stuck in your dusty little routines, battling through the crowds in Tesco or Primark, arguing with the neighbours or the rest of your family about things that will never change - it's all pointless and dull and mind numbingly awful. That's why you need your fix of Catherine Wales as she battles NOT to be stuck on the Diana Memorial Pedestal!

I'm not sure what is worse, the mob mentality of all those daft enough to spend money they don't have on things they don't need, commemorative plates, cups, dolls and the like - or even worse to pay to travel to London to sleep on the street so you can watch the carriage ride by, the horses depositing a huge pile of shit just where you are, an indelible memory of a beautiful day.

Is that mob mentality worse that my M.O.B mentality?

I do really wish them well but the feeding frenzy in the media and the wall to wall coverage on TV is too much and it will be like drinking 5 bottles of champagne - all the fizz and the alcohol will help us see the world as a bright bubbly place to live - then we get up in the morning with the headache of reality.

I'll go now and leave you to your festivities - as for me, I'm going to work.

PS I LOVE CAMILLA!

Easter Message

It is a very nice day, even though I had to go to Tesco with Mrs B to liberate some Jersey Royals it's still a nice day.

Tried not to look at all the badly dressed trogs as they filled their trollies with beer and BBQ supplies and I tried to avoid looking at all the aisles full of items for the Royal wedding and the street party epidemic.

I don't like parties and I only went to my own wedding because Mrs B said I had to - although that one turned out OK.

I don't think it is possible to turn on the television without some programme about this wedding or previous ones, the news covers it, the weather talks about it, the sport...well perhaps not the sport. I will not be watching the wedding on Friday, I will not be having a party, I will be hiding in my bedroom watching Lord of The Rings or Star Trek all day.

Later this year I have to face the hurdle of a milestone birthday, and of course people expect you to have a party and at the moment I am planning that party - it will be in a hotel in the middle of nowhere and there will be two people invited!

Miserable old bastard - yes and to prove it here is the tee shirt I wear...

I suppose if push comes to shove and I do have to have a party, it will be a fancy dress party and the only stipulation is that you must come as a character from a movie - I will be going as Harvey, a 6ft invisible rabbit.

Time to go and put the kettle on, Mrs B needs a cup of tea and a Rich Tea biscuit - no Easter eggs in our house, no hot cross buns either - we don't buy into that sort of commercialisation and the Guru hopes you all avoided the temptation too!

Have a great evening my little bunnies - and don't get sun burn!