Welcome athletes of the world, I know you are all pretty tired after the Opening Ceremony but I'm sure you are all waking up in the Olympic Village, reaching for your probiotic yoghurt and blueberries and saying to yourself in 207 different languages - 'when will the Guru speak unto us'?
Well here I am...bonjour and ey up mi duck!
Those who are regular followers will know that I am a cynical old bugger but last night as I sat and watched the stunning opening ceremony of the London 2012 games, the cynicism was washed away by a tidal wave of pride in my country - (apologies to the Japanese contingent).
The conception and delivery was remarkable - showing the history of our country, showing where we had come from and the things we had built for ourselves and the world but then showing how we can go further and aspire to a future we can be even more proud of.
I know that economically we are in the depths of despair but for four hours last night I forgot deficits and banks and problems and I was reminded that it is possible to reach for something positive. That's the message of sport I suppose, if you want to succeed you have to work very hard and make some sacrifices.
Danny Boyle showed us the past we can be proud of and learn from and he gave us a glimpse of a future that might well be within our grasp.
I don't agree with some of the criticism that the whole thing was too British or too left wing - since when did Mary Poppins become a symbol of the left? It was Great Britain showing the world why the IOC chose London to stage the games and show them we did!
I'm not sure that some countries watching would grasp the intrinsic Britishness of all the little bits of our culture that Mr Boyle stitched together but that doesn't matter,what they would have seen is a country unafraid in showing the world who we are - multicultural and artistically vibrant.
I really did think the whole thing was superb and the final surprise, the literal handing on of the torch to the next generation, well that was inspired.
As Paul McCartney started to sing I retired to my bed - couldn't we have found a younger singer?
A small criticism of what was otherwise a great show.
By the way, if you live in Cannock and you voted for the Tory MP Aidan Burley, I hope you feel ashamed of yourself. The man needs to be kicked smartly in the testicles by all of his constituents but that might have to wait until Mr Cameron and Boris have finished with him. Silly man.
He wrote on Twitter during the ceremony:
"The most leftie opening ceremony I have ever seen - more than Beijing, the capital of a communist state! Welfare tribute next?"
"Thank God the athletes have arrived! Now we can move on from leftie multi-cultural crap. Bring back red arrows, Shakespeare and the Stones!"
This morning after being roundly criticised for his comments he wrote:
"Seems my tweet has been misunderstood. I was talking about the way it was handled in the show, not multiculturalism itself".
You judge for yourself, but I think the man is a prize twat and I apologise if he takes offence at me calling him a donkey faced, addled brained, right wing Nazi loving tosser...but why should I apologise, he will only be misunderstanding my words!
OK teams - get your kit together, we have games to play....what do you mean you don't have your kit?
Right, you'll just have compete in your pants!