Time for my fortnightly pronouncement on the state of the world - and I am in pain and a bad mood so somebody is going to get it in the neck and before you all start to think about replying with any negative comments about what I say - I'd rather you just didn't - if you don't like it then don't come back and read it because to be honest I didn't write it for you, I wrote it for me!
First let's deal with this weather - it snowed and it was cold and it meant some kids got to stay off school, some people got to stay off work and some of us carried on the best we could and as one of my Facebook friends correctly pointed out, some of those who couldn't battle into work did manage to battle their way to Wetherspoons!
We don't cope well with the bad weather, those marauding up and down the aisles of Tesco's become even more feral than normal, fighting to the death for the last white sliced and bags of oven chips - and you could tell that the troglodytes were panicking about their bellies because they even bought healthy food like wholemeal bread!
Mrs B and I couldn't even get in the car park of Sainsbury's because of the queuing 4x4's and yummy mummies rushing to buy cous cous and Nigella's latest cook book.
Luckily we have this thing called a freezer and we managed to survive for a few days on the meagre rations we had stored away over many years.
And the roads...not easy to manage when covered in snow and slush but passable with some common sense. What a shame then that so many leave their common sense in the toilet. Idiots.
So stuck in the house, plenty to watch on the TV - Gillian McKeith eventually recognised for her conniving ways booted out of the jungle - the singing Afghan wins, quite right too.
Wagner booted out of the X Factor and as I write this I predict Tesco Mary has sung her last song and it's time to check out (see what I did there).
We had the sad death of Leslie Nielsen which meant Airplane and The Naked Gun were on - reminding us all how to laugh at silly thing and how good that makes you feel. RIP Shirley.
And then there is the internet, a window on the world for all those stranded at home - we can check up on our friends and see how they are coping with the weather and the constant and irritating way that the BBC refer to it on the news as The Big Freeze!
And we can even try and make a difference in the world by raising awareness of issues such as World Aids Day, bullying and homophobia and supporting the viral campaign to raise funds for charities that in turn support children who are the victims of abuse.
Now let me preface my next remarks by saying that I am not politically correct, I say things on here that make the hair on a bald mans back stand on end but I am in pain and I am in a VERY bad mood so...
I am fed up with so called friends of mine using the word 'gay' as a form of abuse and I hereby state that I will in future be forced to mention this to you in the strongest possible terms and if you do not desist I will delete you as a friend.
And with those of you too stupid or cynical to take the time to think things through with regards to the viral campaigns that we see on Facebook (like the present one which is a totally laudable campaign to stop violence against children) I shall have something to say about that as well.
In fact let me tell you that in a previous life I was once sent to a house in which a father had killed his baby son, he had kicked him to death and he had then stuffed his tiny dead body under the cot. It was one of the worst memories I have.
If just one person who took the time to find a cartoon character from their happy childhood memories posted that picture and then took the next step and donated money to one of the charities supporting the campaign and that money paid for someone to work with a man who has poor parenting skills and that led to a child not being abused or kicked to death - then it was worth the bloody effort!
So, go and enjoy your life - a life in which you don't have to think too much.