Sunday 15 December 2013

Peace On Earth, Good Will Toward Men...

except atheists and all theists who don't believe Jesus was the son of god.

I have, this day, been defending the right of non Christians to celebrate at Christmas. Having been referred to as a hypocrite I decided that I should share my thoughts and feelings about this season of good will and what it means to a heathen atheist.

As someone who enjoys being a little bah humbug at this time of year (actually all year round) I was faced with a challenge in the writing of my Christmas themed 'Thought for the Day' which appears on BBC Radio Nottingham. Being a regular contributor over the past couple of years I did initially wonder how a non religious view of life would sit in the daily god slot - but people seem to respond positively to it and the producer keeps asking me back so it must be ok.

My Christmas themed message was based around the quote attributed to the Reverend Jesse Jackson, that it's not Christmas presents that matter but the presence of people who are important to you at Christmas that has real meaning.

When the piece was broadcast it prompted a listener to call in and berate anyone who isn't a Christian from celebrating the birth of Christ...hence my appearance this morning on the radio.

Let me point out at this juncture, that although when I speak multitudes listen and nod sagely in agreement, I do not speak for all Humanists...just the sensible ones.  The rabid secularists can make their own argument for pulling down Westminster Abbey and turning it into a multi story car park, I'm a bit more pragmatic.

Religion exists.

My moderate Humanist stand point on Christmas is that as a nation we celebrate a national holiday, a public holiday for all citizens no matter your faith or belief system. It involves Santa and lights and trees and cards and presents and carols and food and drink and families spending time together.

Some people love the idea of seeing old friends and family members, sharing a meal, a glass of cream sherry and perhaps reminiscing about how Christmases were better in the good old days.

Some people prefer to fly off to France or Austria and go skiing.

Sone cruise down to the Caribeano whilst some sit quietly at home and stroke their pussy.

A few of you might go to church for the only time in the year, sing a few carols and hear the Christmas fable retold by little children with tea towels on their heads.

There are some of course, devout and faithful followers of the Christian church, who will truly be celebrating the birth of their saviour. It is a deeply spiritual time for them and I do not deny them that right.


Of course the numbers of those who regularly attend church are still in decline and whether we like it or not, Christmas has become largely a secular holiday and I think we all have a right to join in the fun...and those of us who don't like the tea towel bit can ignore it and have another glass of  sherry.

So, back to the devout Christian caller who thinks it's hypocritical of me to enjoy this festive season...I have some questions for him.

The problem with banning atheists from Christmas is where would you draw the line?

Should writing a Christmas card be considered  a Christians only act?

Should hauling the faux tree out of its box for the umpteenth Christmas, covering it with red green and gold baubles (and the old robin) be considered a Christians only activity?

The Old Robin 


Should I be allowed to put crackers on the table?

Should I be allowed to have a welcome light in the window?

Should I be allowed a wreath on the door?

Should I open the door to the carol singers and smile at them before dropping a chocolate coin or two in the collection box?

Should I tell my mother not to send me any mince pies or cocoanut tarts but send them instead to a local vicar?

Would I even be allowed that glass of sherry?

Can I buy a turkey and stuff it?

Can I invite people to spend the day with us and share a meal and give thanks for life and happiness?

Where do the Christians want me to draw the line?

Let's make a deal Christians...you start gathering your tea towels and I'll start opening the Harvey's.

I promise I won't even think about Jesus and shepherds and wise men or kings.

I won't have a nativity scene anywhere in the house.

I won't even have a star on the tree, it'll just be the old robin.

I promise not to think about god.

If I promise all of the above and try just to have a nice day with nice people, will you allow me a few twinkling lights and a candle?

I don't want a lot for Christmas - I most certainly don't want to join in Christ-Mass but those of you who do, then go and do it. Celebrate the message of the birth of your saviour and leave me to watch Jurasic Park or Star Wars.

I'm not a petty man, I could have spent the whole of this blog pointing out the flaws in the virgin birth but that's not what I want my Christmas to be about.

My Christmas is about me, Mrs B, Miss Twillets and Polly, two coughing beagles and a turkey crown - it's about sitting in front of a real fire, sipping my sherry and watching Mrs Brown's Boys.

So, dear uncharitable unchristian caller - enjoy the holidays: WE WILL!





























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