It's been a very negative week, so today I want to try and be positive and allow you all to bask in the uplifting spirit of my wisdom.
First a quick update on my progress through the bible - it has been slow going, not least because I am also reading Fatal Revenant by Stephen R Donaldson (the second book in the final chronicles of Thomas Covenant).
It's about a group of travellers searching a dangerous land, fighting a terrible scourge and looking for the weapon of truth that will help them beat evil. In the bible I'm just dealing with Moses dragging his cronies into the wilderness after his god has been playing silly buggers with Pharaoh.
The god of Moses was cruel and was doing his best to become the supreme power but I did notice that the power of other gods was acknowledged so perhaps this was just a bit of supernatural schoolyard bullying with Moses leading the cheers 'cos my god's fiercer than your god'.
If any of you have not read the bible I suggest you don't bother - let me explain it all for you as I go along and if you want to read a fantasy novel, try Lord Foul's Bane by Donaldson - the opening title in a ten book cycle that was first published in 1977 and hopefully draws to a conclusion in 2013.
Have you noticed the negative vibes in the air this week?
Don't give the bonus the to the bank chairman...
Don't let Sir Fred Goodwin keep his knighthood...
Don't legitimise same sex partnerships by calling them marriage...
Don't cap the benefits to £26,000...
I'm sure you could add your own examples to the list but I want to share a positive moment with you.
On Tuesday I conducted the funeral for a lady who had died aged in her late eighties. In her time she had been a member of the Towns Women Guild and some of her former compatriots were attending this celebration of her life - sorry, were attending this non religious, Humanist led, celebration of her life.
After the ceremony ended one of the ladies, (blue rinse, pearls and sensible shoes) marched over to me and grabbed me firmly by the hand. She then bellowed at the top of her voice, "the spirit of the lord was strong with you today, I felt his presence in the room - thank you".
Now although it is lovely to get a compliment, being thanked for summoning the presence of a god who I am not on speaking terms with did not really fill me with joy. But because this epistle is about being positive, I wish to report that I am happy that I have this power to call up spirits and spectres. I might even try calling up ghosts and demons but I think I'll keep away from ghoulies!
I am, however, thinking about buying a long flowing cape of some description and touring the nation speaking unto small groups of middle class ladies and seeing if I can make them feel a little presence when they least expect it.
What I neglected to ask the percipient pensioner was, did the spirit of the lord resemble the cruel and spiteful one that set fire to bushes or burned commandments onto tablets of stone for Moses? Perhaps it was another god, a more benign and caring god whose acolytes spread such a wonderfully confused web of love and hate over the world. Or was the spirit of Thor or Isis or Jupiter?
Next time I will be more prepared and ask the witnesses for a better description.
I think that's all for today, I have to make tea and toast for Mrs B who is endeavouring to remain positive herself after she started her studies at Derby University.
She was told that she should not bother applying for the course she is now on because she wouldn't get it. Her positive attitude reflects the advice of Robert Burns (no I didn't eat any haggis this week) when he said, "Dare to be honest and fear no labour".
Now where did I put that Marmite?
Sunday, 29 January 2012
Wednesday, 18 January 2012
Children Will Listen
I have been poorly and I know that each and every one of you has been sending me your most positive vibes and I can report that the combined power of your energy has healed me...almost.
I will not discuss the details of my illness but needless to say I soldiered on very bravely and hardly mentioned the discomfort to anyone at all. Like all men I carry my pain as a badge of honour - silently suffering and smiling at the world.
Enough of this fantasy, let's get down to the nitty gritty...Coppers.
A Channel 4 documentary series concentrating on the policing of Nottinghamshire has become a real talking point in the town and on local media outlets...I avoided watching the programme because I guessed that it would be controversial other wise why would they show it? As usual I was correct.
Let me preface the rest of my remarks by stating that my previous employment and my links to family and friends who still serve in various Police roles does not stop me from offering up this totally unbiased and thoughtful dialogue on the nature of policing in the 21st century.
I was asked to contribute to a radio discussion on this matter and I declined because my health is still a little fragile and at my age I have to watch the old blood pressure you know!
Apparently the series has shown some officers dealing in a quite heavy handed way with members of the public as well as showing some very unsavoury members of the public abusing the Police - this is Channel 4 offering balance I suppose.
There have been calls for the Police to be respected because of the job they do and there have been answering calls for the Police to respect the community they serve and not to prejudge individuals because of the place they live.
I do think that demanding respect for the Police is stupid - I don't think you should respect an institution or an organisation. I do think you can respect people so I have no problem respecting individual Police Officers in the same way I respect anyone who has earned that respect.
Having witnessed what they used to call 'canteen culture' at first hand I also know how easy it is for Police Officers to get caught up in the received wisdom of those who have all the answers. It sometimes takes a lot of courage to stand against the prevailing Blue tide!
The question of respect does need answering though and I would much prefer that if people wanted to demand respect for anything they should start with a respect for the law. The problem is that those who do not respect the law and consequently the authority of the Police, probably have a lack of self respect too.
I know I frequently use Tesco as a tool in my lessons for life - but they give me so much ammunition I just have to make good use of it.
Mrs B and I were in Tesco the other day and we came across a group of teenagers who were very loud and very rude and they thought they were very funny, what they did not realise is that many other people who witnessed their behaviour just felt very sorry for them.
A short while later we saw a frustrated mother shouting in the face of her young child and using such language as to make Chubby Brown blush. Again, a feeling of sadness enveloped us as we considered what life holds in store for that mother and for that child.
It's like toppling dominoes, no doubt that young mother had been taught this behaviour by her own parents, if she was lucky enough to have them in her life. I already hear the calls of 'you don't understand how hard life is for some people'. Let me answer that point.
I was preparing a funeral for a lady who had died after living a good long life - 90 plus years. She had come from very humble beginnings and had never had much money but her daughter told me how she was always made to wash, keep clean, be neat and to say please and thank you. Old fashioned ideas and values I suppose, but as this lady always said to her daughter 'you don't need money to have manners'.
Where have these values gone? What has happened to self respect?
People are more interested in having a flat screen tv or designer training shoes.
So there we have it - there is more chance of getting a lesbian Pope than solving this issue. That's why we will see more riots and more Channel 4 documentaries and Mrs B and I will see more incidents in Tesco that I can then make fun of for you.
Police and the public - strange isn't it that you need to make the distinction?
Be well, and remember to wash, keep clean, be neat and say please and thank you.
Thank You.
I will not discuss the details of my illness but needless to say I soldiered on very bravely and hardly mentioned the discomfort to anyone at all. Like all men I carry my pain as a badge of honour - silently suffering and smiling at the world.
Enough of this fantasy, let's get down to the nitty gritty...Coppers.
A Channel 4 documentary series concentrating on the policing of Nottinghamshire has become a real talking point in the town and on local media outlets...I avoided watching the programme because I guessed that it would be controversial other wise why would they show it? As usual I was correct.
Let me preface the rest of my remarks by stating that my previous employment and my links to family and friends who still serve in various Police roles does not stop me from offering up this totally unbiased and thoughtful dialogue on the nature of policing in the 21st century.
I was asked to contribute to a radio discussion on this matter and I declined because my health is still a little fragile and at my age I have to watch the old blood pressure you know!
Apparently the series has shown some officers dealing in a quite heavy handed way with members of the public as well as showing some very unsavoury members of the public abusing the Police - this is Channel 4 offering balance I suppose.
There have been calls for the Police to be respected because of the job they do and there have been answering calls for the Police to respect the community they serve and not to prejudge individuals because of the place they live.
I do think that demanding respect for the Police is stupid - I don't think you should respect an institution or an organisation. I do think you can respect people so I have no problem respecting individual Police Officers in the same way I respect anyone who has earned that respect.
Having witnessed what they used to call 'canteen culture' at first hand I also know how easy it is for Police Officers to get caught up in the received wisdom of those who have all the answers. It sometimes takes a lot of courage to stand against the prevailing Blue tide!
The question of respect does need answering though and I would much prefer that if people wanted to demand respect for anything they should start with a respect for the law. The problem is that those who do not respect the law and consequently the authority of the Police, probably have a lack of self respect too.
I know I frequently use Tesco as a tool in my lessons for life - but they give me so much ammunition I just have to make good use of it.
Mrs B and I were in Tesco the other day and we came across a group of teenagers who were very loud and very rude and they thought they were very funny, what they did not realise is that many other people who witnessed their behaviour just felt very sorry for them.
A short while later we saw a frustrated mother shouting in the face of her young child and using such language as to make Chubby Brown blush. Again, a feeling of sadness enveloped us as we considered what life holds in store for that mother and for that child.
It's like toppling dominoes, no doubt that young mother had been taught this behaviour by her own parents, if she was lucky enough to have them in her life. I already hear the calls of 'you don't understand how hard life is for some people'. Let me answer that point.
I was preparing a funeral for a lady who had died after living a good long life - 90 plus years. She had come from very humble beginnings and had never had much money but her daughter told me how she was always made to wash, keep clean, be neat and to say please and thank you. Old fashioned ideas and values I suppose, but as this lady always said to her daughter 'you don't need money to have manners'.
Where have these values gone? What has happened to self respect?
People are more interested in having a flat screen tv or designer training shoes.
So there we have it - there is more chance of getting a lesbian Pope than solving this issue. That's why we will see more riots and more Channel 4 documentaries and Mrs B and I will see more incidents in Tesco that I can then make fun of for you.
Police and the public - strange isn't it that you need to make the distinction?
Be well, and remember to wash, keep clean, be neat and say please and thank you.
Thank You.
Sunday, 8 January 2012
Old Testament Vengeance
Good morning Pilgrims, how's your journey in search of truth and light progressing?
This morning I have a biblical style story to tell and it once again gives me a chance to report on my progress through the Kings James bible.
I have just exited Genesis and moved into Exodus passing the story of Joseph and his coat of many colours and concluding my journey at the moment that Moses is pulled from the water by Pharaohs daughter. You see if this broody spinster had let Moses float on by, the world would be a very different place.
It's quite a coincidence that the story of Joseph was in my mind as much of todays lesson came to me in a dream, perhaps whispered in my ear by some greater power...no not Mrs B. If it's good enough for the Mormons, it's good enough for me.
As I was about to retire for the night, feeling under the weather, I glanced at Facebook and I noticed a very long thread concerning an alleged break in at Willow Farm Family Park. It was claimed that someone had broken into the park and then they had stolen animals which had then been killed. The thread was a little short on fact but full of outrage and threats of vengeance. There were many comments about animal cruelty and the disgust of others, some local, who wished to distance themselves from the perpetrators.
Again, perhaps due to the fact that my head was full of the Hebrew Bible, I imagined some awful scenario where youths had stolen a llama or a small pony which had then been sacrificed in some blood lust to satisfy the pagan gods of Shirebrook. The levels of disgust and outrage in the Facebook posts called for a scene of that magnitude to have been played out such was the outpouring of vitriol and bile.
As I read through the thread we gradually learned that two chickens had been stolen and killed by local teenagers and I was suddenly left with a series of questions.
Before I pose the questions let me first of all say that I do not condone the acts of the guilty parties, they deserve to be punished for their acts but do they really qualify for the extra burden of all the calls for vengeance? So, the questions...what makes people so angry about this story? Is it that there was animal cruelty? Is it that the theft was aimed at a children's farm? Is it because it made the area look bad? Or is it something else?
I would imagine that most of the people who were going on about animal cruelty were meat eaters and again although I don't like the idea of any animals being tortured for fun, anyone who has ever eaten a fast food burger or chicken leg has been part of an industry that treats animals with little respect. The chickens that we buy and eat from the supermarkets are often kept in circumstances that are far removed from the natural life of a chicken. I recall seeing a lorry load of pigs being taken on a long road journey to be slaughtered in a factory style slaughter house, all looking through the side of the lorry at me and blaming me for their fate.
None of the meat that goes into your burger comes from cows that decide to make the career choice of joining McDonalds you know, we drag them about the road system before again killing them in as humane a way as we can.
As a meat eater I have come to terms with this process but it has led me to change my purchasing habits with regard to the type of meat I buy but how many of those Facebook ranters even consider where the meat comes from? Outrage at animal cruelty from those who would quite happily eat cheap chicken is a little odd.
As for being angered because the theft was from children, well children are the target of crime everyday either directly or indirectly and we don't see this outrage on Facebook. So, is the real reason that this incident puts a bad light on the good folk of Shirebrook? I suppose we will only know the answer to that if we can find out how many of the commentators came from the area.
The more I think about it the more I believe that the viral response to the posting of these stories is just that, almost unstoppable. What might help calm the outburst is a dose of truth.
The original post was placed on Facebook with the very best of intentions, of that I have no doubt, but this overblown and over moralistic response from people who could not look in the mirror and see anything other than flawed human beings looking back, shows that we should all of us be careful about getting drawn into throwing that first stone (back to the bible again).
So there we go, my little dose of penicillin to treat the outbreak of VD or vengeance disorder as I like to call it.
Now I feel quite dodgy so I'm going back to bed, so have a good day and enjoy your Sunday roast.
This morning I have a biblical style story to tell and it once again gives me a chance to report on my progress through the Kings James bible.
I have just exited Genesis and moved into Exodus passing the story of Joseph and his coat of many colours and concluding my journey at the moment that Moses is pulled from the water by Pharaohs daughter. You see if this broody spinster had let Moses float on by, the world would be a very different place.
It's quite a coincidence that the story of Joseph was in my mind as much of todays lesson came to me in a dream, perhaps whispered in my ear by some greater power...no not Mrs B. If it's good enough for the Mormons, it's good enough for me.
As I was about to retire for the night, feeling under the weather, I glanced at Facebook and I noticed a very long thread concerning an alleged break in at Willow Farm Family Park. It was claimed that someone had broken into the park and then they had stolen animals which had then been killed. The thread was a little short on fact but full of outrage and threats of vengeance. There were many comments about animal cruelty and the disgust of others, some local, who wished to distance themselves from the perpetrators.
Again, perhaps due to the fact that my head was full of the Hebrew Bible, I imagined some awful scenario where youths had stolen a llama or a small pony which had then been sacrificed in some blood lust to satisfy the pagan gods of Shirebrook. The levels of disgust and outrage in the Facebook posts called for a scene of that magnitude to have been played out such was the outpouring of vitriol and bile.
As I read through the thread we gradually learned that two chickens had been stolen and killed by local teenagers and I was suddenly left with a series of questions.
Before I pose the questions let me first of all say that I do not condone the acts of the guilty parties, they deserve to be punished for their acts but do they really qualify for the extra burden of all the calls for vengeance? So, the questions...what makes people so angry about this story? Is it that there was animal cruelty? Is it that the theft was aimed at a children's farm? Is it because it made the area look bad? Or is it something else?
I would imagine that most of the people who were going on about animal cruelty were meat eaters and again although I don't like the idea of any animals being tortured for fun, anyone who has ever eaten a fast food burger or chicken leg has been part of an industry that treats animals with little respect. The chickens that we buy and eat from the supermarkets are often kept in circumstances that are far removed from the natural life of a chicken. I recall seeing a lorry load of pigs being taken on a long road journey to be slaughtered in a factory style slaughter house, all looking through the side of the lorry at me and blaming me for their fate.
None of the meat that goes into your burger comes from cows that decide to make the career choice of joining McDonalds you know, we drag them about the road system before again killing them in as humane a way as we can.
As a meat eater I have come to terms with this process but it has led me to change my purchasing habits with regard to the type of meat I buy but how many of those Facebook ranters even consider where the meat comes from? Outrage at animal cruelty from those who would quite happily eat cheap chicken is a little odd.
As for being angered because the theft was from children, well children are the target of crime everyday either directly or indirectly and we don't see this outrage on Facebook. So, is the real reason that this incident puts a bad light on the good folk of Shirebrook? I suppose we will only know the answer to that if we can find out how many of the commentators came from the area.
The more I think about it the more I believe that the viral response to the posting of these stories is just that, almost unstoppable. What might help calm the outburst is a dose of truth.
The original post was placed on Facebook with the very best of intentions, of that I have no doubt, but this overblown and over moralistic response from people who could not look in the mirror and see anything other than flawed human beings looking back, shows that we should all of us be careful about getting drawn into throwing that first stone (back to the bible again).
So there we go, my little dose of penicillin to treat the outbreak of VD or vengeance disorder as I like to call it.
Now I feel quite dodgy so I'm going back to bed, so have a good day and enjoy your Sunday roast.
Wednesday, 4 January 2012
Music, Religion and Politics
I had the urge to drop you a line or two this morning, not least to comment on the guilty verdicts in the Stephen Lawrence murder trial. Some little justice for the family but as Doreen Lawrence rather effectively stated yesterday, justice delayed is justice denied.
This morning some commentators seems to be suggesting that this is some kind of watershed moment. They suggest that by looking at this result and other matters in the public eye surrounding racism in football, Britain is a less racist and more tolerant place...I would invite them to look a little closer and they can start here in Mansfield where racism or xenophobia directed towards Eastern Europeans is rife.
We have a long way to go and I fear that we might never really get to where we think we should be, mostly because our intolerance is driven by ignorance and by differing religious beliefs.
Which reminds me, I am making nice progress through the Bible, there are a few passages which have caused me to scratch my head - like the giants mentioned in Genesis.
This passage comes before the story of the flood so I can only suppose that Noah decided to leave the giants to their fate which is why we don't have many giants around today. You see the Bible can make sense if you only read it and understand it.
I suppose I better start thinking about reading The Book of Mormon if Mitt Romney makes it to the White House. He is the narrow leader in the Republican race to secure the nomination to run against President Obama. The only thing I know about The Book of Mormon is that is was created by a man called Joseph Smith and the words were allegedly revealed to him on golden plates which only he was allowed to see and he dictated their contents from behind a screen to a series of scribes. The Book of Mormon is also an award winning musical written by Matt Stone and Trey Parker.
This combination of religious philosophy combined with music, even in parody, is another reason why I think religion will survive...there are some really good stories which when augmented with really good music make them seem even more powerful.
Much of the great classical canon was inspired by religion and faith and many great works were paid for by churches. In latter years we have the likes of Lloyd Webber and Rice putting Jesus Christ Superstar on stage and doing it really rather well.
Music, religion and politics, three things that people can argue about more than anything else I suppose but let me close with this song from The Book of Mormon and I do beg you to listen to all of the song and hear the words, then you too will believe!
I Believe from The Book of Mormon
This morning some commentators seems to be suggesting that this is some kind of watershed moment. They suggest that by looking at this result and other matters in the public eye surrounding racism in football, Britain is a less racist and more tolerant place...I would invite them to look a little closer and they can start here in Mansfield where racism or xenophobia directed towards Eastern Europeans is rife.
We have a long way to go and I fear that we might never really get to where we think we should be, mostly because our intolerance is driven by ignorance and by differing religious beliefs.
Which reminds me, I am making nice progress through the Bible, there are a few passages which have caused me to scratch my head - like the giants mentioned in Genesis.
'There were giants in the earth in those days; and also after that, when the sons of God came in unto the daughters of men, and they bore children to them, the same became mighty men which were of old, men of renown'
I suppose I better start thinking about reading The Book of Mormon if Mitt Romney makes it to the White House. He is the narrow leader in the Republican race to secure the nomination to run against President Obama. The only thing I know about The Book of Mormon is that is was created by a man called Joseph Smith and the words were allegedly revealed to him on golden plates which only he was allowed to see and he dictated their contents from behind a screen to a series of scribes. The Book of Mormon is also an award winning musical written by Matt Stone and Trey Parker.
This combination of religious philosophy combined with music, even in parody, is another reason why I think religion will survive...there are some really good stories which when augmented with really good music make them seem even more powerful.
Much of the great classical canon was inspired by religion and faith and many great works were paid for by churches. In latter years we have the likes of Lloyd Webber and Rice putting Jesus Christ Superstar on stage and doing it really rather well.
Music, religion and politics, three things that people can argue about more than anything else I suppose but let me close with this song from The Book of Mormon and I do beg you to listen to all of the song and hear the words, then you too will believe!
I Believe from The Book of Mormon
Sunday, 1 January 2012
New Years Message 2012
According to legend, 2012 is the year the planet fights back and we humans are in for a real bad time, thank goodness we had John Cusack to show us what to do when it all kicks off.
Until the earthquakes start what are you going to be doing with your final days?
I'm going to be reading the Bible.
I know this seems a strange thing for a Humanist to be doing but I decided that it was time I really tried to understand the power of these ancient myths, so I have downloaded all 96 hours of the talking Bible to pass the time away as I drive to and from my Humanist duties.
I won't be reading the Quran as I understand that any translation away from the original Arabic text is fraught with danger and many mistranslations have occurred over the years...and to be honest I don't want to be in the same club as Salman Rushdie. I will also give the other religions a wide berth because as Mr Cameron did say, we are a Christian country.
So I'll stick with the good old English Bible because, as some apocryphal American politician once said, "if English was good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for me".
I shall of course report back at regular intervals on my journey through this vast tome and I will try to be honest with what I find - but don't worry I will also be sarcastic because I know you expect that of me and I don't like to disappoint.
So what else does 2012 bring? The answer for most of us is we don't know. 366 days (it's a leap year) that are stretched before us like a clean canvas on which we can paint our future.
Go on, be the artist you always wanted to be and paint yourself a brilliant year.
Take the opportunities that come your way to make this year and each day in it something that you can be proud of.
I have been slowly working my way through a bucket list and I shall continue to tick off things I want to experience before death decides it's time to swing by again and finish of the job he started a few years ago. I hope he's kept busy elsewhere and if he wants any suggestions for places to visit I'm sure we can come up with a few.
Whether you are motivated by faith or not, I wish all of my readers the year they hope for and work for.
Now, where is that Bible...
'In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth'...or did he?
Until the earthquakes start what are you going to be doing with your final days?
I'm going to be reading the Bible.
I know this seems a strange thing for a Humanist to be doing but I decided that it was time I really tried to understand the power of these ancient myths, so I have downloaded all 96 hours of the talking Bible to pass the time away as I drive to and from my Humanist duties.
I won't be reading the Quran as I understand that any translation away from the original Arabic text is fraught with danger and many mistranslations have occurred over the years...and to be honest I don't want to be in the same club as Salman Rushdie. I will also give the other religions a wide berth because as Mr Cameron did say, we are a Christian country.
So I'll stick with the good old English Bible because, as some apocryphal American politician once said, "if English was good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for me".
I shall of course report back at regular intervals on my journey through this vast tome and I will try to be honest with what I find - but don't worry I will also be sarcastic because I know you expect that of me and I don't like to disappoint.
So what else does 2012 bring? The answer for most of us is we don't know. 366 days (it's a leap year) that are stretched before us like a clean canvas on which we can paint our future.
Go on, be the artist you always wanted to be and paint yourself a brilliant year.
Take the opportunities that come your way to make this year and each day in it something that you can be proud of.
I have been slowly working my way through a bucket list and I shall continue to tick off things I want to experience before death decides it's time to swing by again and finish of the job he started a few years ago. I hope he's kept busy elsewhere and if he wants any suggestions for places to visit I'm sure we can come up with a few.
Whether you are motivated by faith or not, I wish all of my readers the year they hope for and work for.
Now, where is that Bible...
'In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth'...or did he?
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