Good news? Not any more, it would seem that there is no such thing as 'No News' as anything that now happens anywhere in the world can become news in a matter of moments.
Mrs B and I have taken great pleasure in watching The Newsroom on tv, written by Aaron Sorkin it shows the workings of a US cable newsroom and the drive to simply find the facts and inform the public. Telling the truth about the things that the electorate need to know. How refreshing a thought, that the news would only ever be about the things we need to know, that serve the public interest rather than just offering hours of supposition, titillation and gossip.
This week I got a quick look at the newsroom of our local paper, and as you know I often get invited to the local BBC radio station to spread my pearls of wisdom. I have respect for the men and women who work very hard to provide a good quality of local news coverage but even they sometimes find themselves under added pressure when a local story becomes a national story.
I suppose the recent events in New Addington and the death of Tia Sharp are a good example. As I followed the breaking story a friend on Twitter reported that 'the street is full of press and news teams'.
Reporting on the discovery of a body after such a public search for this poor young girl seems valid, reporting on the disappearance and subsequent arrest of Stuart Hazell is totally newsworthy but then the door knocking starts and we get 'neighbours report' type stories.
In the search for some juicy tidbit they will take anyone who wants to speak at face value and offer their opinions as news. How can they be sure that there is no personal bias? We have seen in the past how a local rumour monger has fuelled the flames after a tragic event and it lead to a innocent man being accused of a crime he did not commit, take for example Christopher Jefferies.
This is one of the areas that The Leveson Inquiry is examining and rightly so.
I have no problem with journalists digging into the private lives of anyone who needs to be exposed as criminal, as they did with the MP's and their expenses, but my own recent experiences show that sometimes they don't know where to draw the line.
I was asked to conduct the funeral of Charlotte Blackman, the young lady tragically killed on holiday with her family. I met with the family and we put together a funeral that reflected the great joy of Charlotte's life. Of course the circumstances of her death made national headlines and I accept that seeing the story on the news seemed appropriate but I learned from the family that many of the stories in the newspapers about the events of the day contained great inaccuracies. The press has literally hounded the family for stories and have spoken to family members, ex work colleagues, trying to get some angle on the story. How is that news? How can that possibly serve the public interest?
As was expected the press and the news were present at the funeral to film the arrival of the hearse, but can you believe that they had the nerve to ask if they could film the whole funeral or if they might have an interview with the parents after the funeral!
Unbelievable - not a modicum of common decency or respect for a grieving family.
Later, I read some of the reports and once again there were obvious factual inaccuracies about what had happened at the funeral and who was attending and I thought, well that proves the old adage...never let the facts stand in the way of a good story.
Of course it is really too easy to just get angry at the reporters or the people who send them to chase these stories, how much of the blame should we take? The consumers - we who read or watch these non-news, news stories.
Do we get the news we deserve?
I am convinced that this part of journalism is a minor part of news gathering and dissemination, but when you get close to it, it really stinks.
Saturday, 11 August 2012
Wednesday, 1 August 2012
Olympic Update
So here we are faithful followers, Day 5 of the 2012 Olympic Games and apparently the whole country is fretting because we have not won a gold medal...I am here to calm your nerves and put things into perspective.
First of all, do you recall that part of the lavish opening ceremony when a competitor, a referee and a coach took the Olympic Oath? Well, that little section was really the most important part of the whole ceremony because it sets out what the Olympic ideal is really about...that those taking part simply do their best.
I understand there are about 17000 people taking part in the Games, if they all do their best a very small percentage will win medals but those who do not win medals are no less worthy of recognition.
The media are obsessed with medals tables and each day we have pundits and commentators predicting who will and should win medals for Team GB - I had a little dig at Mike Bushell this morning via Twitter pointing out that such predictions are worthless - what will be will be.
Adding more and more pressure onto athletes by repeating how much we expect of them is something the media do for the sake of news - I don't believe real sports fans wish anything but the best of luck to those men and women who have trained and sacrificed so much just to qualify for the Games.
I will celebrate if Ben Ainslie wins a gold medal but if he doesn't win it might just be because someone was better on the day, the same way that three other teams of divers were better than Daley and Waterfield on the day.
The constant media pressure is also partly to blame for the outpouring of hate towards Tom Daley after he 'failed to secure a gold medal'. We build these people up as unbeatable and we forget they are human.
I do not believe that there is a single competitor in any team that only wants to win because the media are watching - they want to win and give of their best because of their love of the sport...it is taking part that counts. That is why our own Miss Adlington was beaming when she won her bronze medal - she swam better than she could have hoped, she came third and won that medal but why should we think less of her if she had swam a personal best and finished fourth?
So, don't worry - we may well win a gold medal today or we may not, either way I shall enjoy watching the competitors try their best.
Now a message to those badminton players who have not been trying their best - piss off home you cheating bastards! You should be ashamed and if I was the referee I would have disqualified you and I would have kicked your coaches out of the sport for ever! This is the frigging Olympics!!!!!
Sorry, had to get that off my chest.
First of all, do you recall that part of the lavish opening ceremony when a competitor, a referee and a coach took the Olympic Oath? Well, that little section was really the most important part of the whole ceremony because it sets out what the Olympic ideal is really about...that those taking part simply do their best.
I understand there are about 17000 people taking part in the Games, if they all do their best a very small percentage will win medals but those who do not win medals are no less worthy of recognition.
The media are obsessed with medals tables and each day we have pundits and commentators predicting who will and should win medals for Team GB - I had a little dig at Mike Bushell this morning via Twitter pointing out that such predictions are worthless - what will be will be.
Adding more and more pressure onto athletes by repeating how much we expect of them is something the media do for the sake of news - I don't believe real sports fans wish anything but the best of luck to those men and women who have trained and sacrificed so much just to qualify for the Games.
I will celebrate if Ben Ainslie wins a gold medal but if he doesn't win it might just be because someone was better on the day, the same way that three other teams of divers were better than Daley and Waterfield on the day.
The constant media pressure is also partly to blame for the outpouring of hate towards Tom Daley after he 'failed to secure a gold medal'. We build these people up as unbeatable and we forget they are human.
I do not believe that there is a single competitor in any team that only wants to win because the media are watching - they want to win and give of their best because of their love of the sport...it is taking part that counts. That is why our own Miss Adlington was beaming when she won her bronze medal - she swam better than she could have hoped, she came third and won that medal but why should we think less of her if she had swam a personal best and finished fourth?
So, don't worry - we may well win a gold medal today or we may not, either way I shall enjoy watching the competitors try their best.
Now a message to those badminton players who have not been trying their best - piss off home you cheating bastards! You should be ashamed and if I was the referee I would have disqualified you and I would have kicked your coaches out of the sport for ever! This is the frigging Olympics!!!!!
Sorry, had to get that off my chest.
Saturday, 28 July 2012
The Games People Play
Welcome athletes of the world, I know you are all pretty tired after the Opening Ceremony but I'm sure you are all waking up in the Olympic Village, reaching for your probiotic yoghurt and blueberries and saying to yourself in 207 different languages - 'when will the Guru speak unto us'?
Well here I am...bonjour and ey up mi duck!
Those who are regular followers will know that I am a cynical old bugger but last night as I sat and watched the stunning opening ceremony of the London 2012 games, the cynicism was washed away by a tidal wave of pride in my country - (apologies to the Japanese contingent).
The conception and delivery was remarkable - showing the history of our country, showing where we had come from and the things we had built for ourselves and the world but then showing how we can go further and aspire to a future we can be even more proud of.
I know that economically we are in the depths of despair but for four hours last night I forgot deficits and banks and problems and I was reminded that it is possible to reach for something positive. That's the message of sport I suppose, if you want to succeed you have to work very hard and make some sacrifices.
Danny Boyle showed us the past we can be proud of and learn from and he gave us a glimpse of a future that might well be within our grasp.
I don't agree with some of the criticism that the whole thing was too British or too left wing - since when did Mary Poppins become a symbol of the left? It was Great Britain showing the world why the IOC chose London to stage the games and show them we did!
I'm not sure that some countries watching would grasp the intrinsic Britishness of all the little bits of our culture that Mr Boyle stitched together but that doesn't matter,what they would have seen is a country unafraid in showing the world who we are - multicultural and artistically vibrant.
I really did think the whole thing was superb and the final surprise, the literal handing on of the torch to the next generation, well that was inspired.
As Paul McCartney started to sing I retired to my bed - couldn't we have found a younger singer?
A small criticism of what was otherwise a great show.
By the way, if you live in Cannock and you voted for the Tory MP Aidan Burley, I hope you feel ashamed of yourself. The man needs to be kicked smartly in the testicles by all of his constituents but that might have to wait until Mr Cameron and Boris have finished with him. Silly man.
He wrote on Twitter during the ceremony:
"The most leftie opening ceremony I have ever seen - more than Beijing, the capital of a communist state! Welfare tribute next?"
and
"Thank God the athletes have arrived! Now we can move on from leftie multi-cultural crap. Bring back red arrows, Shakespeare and the Stones!"
This morning after being roundly criticised for his comments he wrote:
"Seems my tweet has been misunderstood. I was talking about the way it was handled in the show, not multiculturalism itself".
You judge for yourself, but I think the man is a prize twat and I apologise if he takes offence at me calling him a donkey faced, addled brained, right wing Nazi loving tosser...but why should I apologise, he will only be misunderstanding my words!
OK teams - get your kit together, we have games to play....what do you mean you don't have your kit?
Right, you'll just have compete in your pants!
Well here I am...bonjour and ey up mi duck!
Those who are regular followers will know that I am a cynical old bugger but last night as I sat and watched the stunning opening ceremony of the London 2012 games, the cynicism was washed away by a tidal wave of pride in my country - (apologies to the Japanese contingent).
The conception and delivery was remarkable - showing the history of our country, showing where we had come from and the things we had built for ourselves and the world but then showing how we can go further and aspire to a future we can be even more proud of.
I know that economically we are in the depths of despair but for four hours last night I forgot deficits and banks and problems and I was reminded that it is possible to reach for something positive. That's the message of sport I suppose, if you want to succeed you have to work very hard and make some sacrifices.
Danny Boyle showed us the past we can be proud of and learn from and he gave us a glimpse of a future that might well be within our grasp.
I don't agree with some of the criticism that the whole thing was too British or too left wing - since when did Mary Poppins become a symbol of the left? It was Great Britain showing the world why the IOC chose London to stage the games and show them we did!
I'm not sure that some countries watching would grasp the intrinsic Britishness of all the little bits of our culture that Mr Boyle stitched together but that doesn't matter,what they would have seen is a country unafraid in showing the world who we are - multicultural and artistically vibrant.
I really did think the whole thing was superb and the final surprise, the literal handing on of the torch to the next generation, well that was inspired.
As Paul McCartney started to sing I retired to my bed - couldn't we have found a younger singer?
A small criticism of what was otherwise a great show.
By the way, if you live in Cannock and you voted for the Tory MP Aidan Burley, I hope you feel ashamed of yourself. The man needs to be kicked smartly in the testicles by all of his constituents but that might have to wait until Mr Cameron and Boris have finished with him. Silly man.
He wrote on Twitter during the ceremony:
"The most leftie opening ceremony I have ever seen - more than Beijing, the capital of a communist state! Welfare tribute next?"
and
"Thank God the athletes have arrived! Now we can move on from leftie multi-cultural crap. Bring back red arrows, Shakespeare and the Stones!"
This morning after being roundly criticised for his comments he wrote:
"Seems my tweet has been misunderstood. I was talking about the way it was handled in the show, not multiculturalism itself".
You judge for yourself, but I think the man is a prize twat and I apologise if he takes offence at me calling him a donkey faced, addled brained, right wing Nazi loving tosser...but why should I apologise, he will only be misunderstanding my words!
OK teams - get your kit together, we have games to play....what do you mean you don't have your kit?
Right, you'll just have compete in your pants!
Saturday, 7 July 2012
Park Life
It's raining...nothing new.
As far as I can tell this is a great test for creationism and evolution because one of two things will have to happen in the coming weeks. As the rain continues to fall either a man in a large wooden boat will start collecting animals or my toes will start to develop webbing and gills will start to grow on the side of my neck. Mrs B is hoping I turn into Patrick Duffy in his Man From Atlantis days.
If a modern day Noah is collecting animals can I suggest he leaves things like rats and mosquitos to fend for themselves but if he needs some foxes, well there is a family of them in the park behind the ashram here on the hill.
As you may well know, the palace of wisdom in which I keep my two thrones sits high on a hill overlooking Mansfield. This lofty position has many advantages, not least being that we will be the last to get flooded. Other advantages are that in the height of summer the smell of death and the flies that buzz around the decaying corpses of kebabs and vomit, don't reach this high. There is some noise pollution through the winter months, especially if the wind is in the wrong direction, as we can here the animals howling from the nearby Field Mill Endangered Species Park.
The main joy of living in the clouds is that we back onto a park, a lovely open space in which can be seen all sorts of wildlife and nature. There are the aforementioned foxes, the odd rabbit or two and then there are the tits.
Yes, in the summer the park is filled with tits but not so many recently after the park was invaded by Stags. It would appear the Stags have escaped from the Field Mill Endangered Species Park!
You know the problem with Stags is they are so territorial and they spend all day rutting and bellowing about how fantastic they are. Even Stags that would have no chance of being given a second glance if they were in a bigger arena try and put on a great display in the park at the back of my house.
Sadly, Stag hunting is not allowed and the Mayor of Mansfield has declared them to be a protected species and he has even given them a nice shiny security fence to keep danger at bay.
They are now free to run up and down and roll on the grass pretending to be hurt without the fear of a local peasant out walking his dog, getting in their way. It's a shame really because for many years that is what the Stag enclosure was used for - local people would take their dogs, or their kids and a picnic, and spend a nice quiet day in the park.
There are some cynics who will tell you that the Mayor and the head Stag keeper are in cahoots and that some cash may have changed hands, but that would just be a cynical allegation with no proof behind it whatsoever at all! I'm sure that the Mayor just decided to allow the Stags to take over the park because it might make him look like an animal lover.
Well, I'm an animal lover too - I like stags, especially cooked in red wine!
All of this tomfoolery will come to a head, the peasants are revolting and have even desecrated the Stags territorial markings...what next I wonder? Watch this space.
As far as I can tell this is a great test for creationism and evolution because one of two things will have to happen in the coming weeks. As the rain continues to fall either a man in a large wooden boat will start collecting animals or my toes will start to develop webbing and gills will start to grow on the side of my neck. Mrs B is hoping I turn into Patrick Duffy in his Man From Atlantis days.
If a modern day Noah is collecting animals can I suggest he leaves things like rats and mosquitos to fend for themselves but if he needs some foxes, well there is a family of them in the park behind the ashram here on the hill.
As you may well know, the palace of wisdom in which I keep my two thrones sits high on a hill overlooking Mansfield. This lofty position has many advantages, not least being that we will be the last to get flooded. Other advantages are that in the height of summer the smell of death and the flies that buzz around the decaying corpses of kebabs and vomit, don't reach this high. There is some noise pollution through the winter months, especially if the wind is in the wrong direction, as we can here the animals howling from the nearby Field Mill Endangered Species Park.
The main joy of living in the clouds is that we back onto a park, a lovely open space in which can be seen all sorts of wildlife and nature. There are the aforementioned foxes, the odd rabbit or two and then there are the tits.
Yes, in the summer the park is filled with tits but not so many recently after the park was invaded by Stags. It would appear the Stags have escaped from the Field Mill Endangered Species Park!
You know the problem with Stags is they are so territorial and they spend all day rutting and bellowing about how fantastic they are. Even Stags that would have no chance of being given a second glance if they were in a bigger arena try and put on a great display in the park at the back of my house.
Sadly, Stag hunting is not allowed and the Mayor of Mansfield has declared them to be a protected species and he has even given them a nice shiny security fence to keep danger at bay.
They are now free to run up and down and roll on the grass pretending to be hurt without the fear of a local peasant out walking his dog, getting in their way. It's a shame really because for many years that is what the Stag enclosure was used for - local people would take their dogs, or their kids and a picnic, and spend a nice quiet day in the park.
There are some cynics who will tell you that the Mayor and the head Stag keeper are in cahoots and that some cash may have changed hands, but that would just be a cynical allegation with no proof behind it whatsoever at all! I'm sure that the Mayor just decided to allow the Stags to take over the park because it might make him look like an animal lover.
Well, I'm an animal lover too - I like stags, especially cooked in red wine!
All of this tomfoolery will come to a head, the peasants are revolting and have even desecrated the Stags territorial markings...what next I wonder? Watch this space.
Saturday, 30 June 2012
The Guru Rises
I have been quite remiss in not communicating with my devoted yet shrinking band of followers lately - let's put that right shall we?
Mrs B and I have had a very full diary of late with work and family issues plus we managed to squeeze in a weekend away in the Forest of Dean - these are not excuses for my absence as I'm sure you have not really missed me.
Whilst in the Forest of Dean, we took the time to wander through Puzzle Wood which is where they film some scenes for Merlin - I did search for the boy wizard and Mrs B later admitted she was hoping to bump into King Arthur - charming! I didn't know he was on the list of chaps she would leave me for. I think Michael Ball is no longer at the top of the list - she seems to have developed a thing for Neil Grayston (Douglas Fargo in Eureka).
Mrs B and I celebrated our 28th wedding anniversary whilst we were away and I think that makes ours one of the longest celebrity marriages in history. With all the stress and strain of fame, we have found a way to rise above it all - it's called humility.
This is why we continue to shop in Tesco when by rights we should have our groceries delivered by Ocado - it's because we want to stay grounded and not forget our humble beginnings. You would find it hard to believe that as a little baby Guru I was raised in very humble surroundings, my bed was a straw filled manger and I could never get any sleep because all these wise men kept popping in with useless presents. It begs the question, how wise could they have been if they thought a curious little Guru would not try and eat the frankincense? Hang on, I could be getting my childhood confused with someone else's again. Anyway, humble humble...
We could shop at our new Sainsbury store but it's very dangerous getting across the car park as the old folks battle it out for the disabled spaces nearest the entrance. They don't care if the car gets a dent or two, it's probably on Motobility anyway.
Whilst we are on the subject of celebrity marriage, the news has just broken that Katie Holmes is filing for divorce...a real shock!
Tom Cruise seemed to have everything going for him - good looks, health, more money than he could ever hope to spend in one lifetime, dazzling white teeth, the moral compass of his faith...what on earth does Katie think she is doing? Just because he believes in all that Scientology drivel and hangs about with John Travolta does not make him a bad person. It makes him something else.
Does the Church of Scientology believe in forgiveness I wonder? We will see.
The Church of England does believe in forgiveness as we witnessed the artist formerly known as Mrs Windsor shaking hands with the artist formerly known as a murdering cowardly scumbag.
The Queen personified grace and Martin McGuinness personifies progress I suppose - that handshake might move the peace process on a little further so it should be applauded. I recall having to write an essay about the threat of terrorism, this was in 1978 and so the bulk of the essay was concerned with Northern Ireland. Imagine if you were sitting down to write about terrorism today - Ireland would not even get a mention I suppose.
The world has changed a lot in the 28 years that Mrs B and I have been married, for one thing she is now officially the cleverest member of the family as her first class honours degree out classes my 50m breast stroke badge. She continues to impress me and her latest piece of work is a 3000 word essay on mental health issues in young people and the co morbidity of other factors such as autism. She asked me to read it and I pretended to understand it but there is no doubt that Mrs B knows her stuff when it comes to dealing with mental instability - that's why she's managed to put up with me for 28 years!
So what else is happening in the world? Nothing new - bankers are wankers, the England football team didn't win anything, Wimbledon is here so it's raining lots, Wimbledon is here so Andy Murray will get beaten by Djokovic, Wimbledon is here so the Wombles have gone on holiday to Hampstead Heath.
Nothing changes - MP's still can't answer a question, the Pope is still Catholic and bears continue to defecate in the woods although Mrs B and I didn't spot any evidence of that in the Forest of Dean.
I suppose that French chap had it just about right when he wrote that the more things change the more they stay the same...
Oh well, the chocolate shadow is visiting and he has just indicated his desire to go for a walk and as this is a democracy and there are only two of us voting, he obviously wins. That's positive discrimination in action.
Enjoy the weekend and I may be back in the near future to report on Andy Murray winning Wimbledon...actually there is more chance of me becoming a Scientologist!
Mrs B and I have had a very full diary of late with work and family issues plus we managed to squeeze in a weekend away in the Forest of Dean - these are not excuses for my absence as I'm sure you have not really missed me.
Whilst in the Forest of Dean, we took the time to wander through Puzzle Wood which is where they film some scenes for Merlin - I did search for the boy wizard and Mrs B later admitted she was hoping to bump into King Arthur - charming! I didn't know he was on the list of chaps she would leave me for. I think Michael Ball is no longer at the top of the list - she seems to have developed a thing for Neil Grayston (Douglas Fargo in Eureka).
 |
| Mrs B's new crush |
Mrs B and I celebrated our 28th wedding anniversary whilst we were away and I think that makes ours one of the longest celebrity marriages in history. With all the stress and strain of fame, we have found a way to rise above it all - it's called humility.
This is why we continue to shop in Tesco when by rights we should have our groceries delivered by Ocado - it's because we want to stay grounded and not forget our humble beginnings. You would find it hard to believe that as a little baby Guru I was raised in very humble surroundings, my bed was a straw filled manger and I could never get any sleep because all these wise men kept popping in with useless presents. It begs the question, how wise could they have been if they thought a curious little Guru would not try and eat the frankincense? Hang on, I could be getting my childhood confused with someone else's again. Anyway, humble humble...
We could shop at our new Sainsbury store but it's very dangerous getting across the car park as the old folks battle it out for the disabled spaces nearest the entrance. They don't care if the car gets a dent or two, it's probably on Motobility anyway.
Whilst we are on the subject of celebrity marriage, the news has just broken that Katie Holmes is filing for divorce...a real shock!
Tom Cruise seemed to have everything going for him - good looks, health, more money than he could ever hope to spend in one lifetime, dazzling white teeth, the moral compass of his faith...what on earth does Katie think she is doing? Just because he believes in all that Scientology drivel and hangs about with John Travolta does not make him a bad person. It makes him something else.
Does the Church of Scientology believe in forgiveness I wonder? We will see.
The Church of England does believe in forgiveness as we witnessed the artist formerly known as Mrs Windsor shaking hands with the artist formerly known as a murdering cowardly scumbag.
The Queen personified grace and Martin McGuinness personifies progress I suppose - that handshake might move the peace process on a little further so it should be applauded. I recall having to write an essay about the threat of terrorism, this was in 1978 and so the bulk of the essay was concerned with Northern Ireland. Imagine if you were sitting down to write about terrorism today - Ireland would not even get a mention I suppose.
The world has changed a lot in the 28 years that Mrs B and I have been married, for one thing she is now officially the cleverest member of the family as her first class honours degree out classes my 50m breast stroke badge. She continues to impress me and her latest piece of work is a 3000 word essay on mental health issues in young people and the co morbidity of other factors such as autism. She asked me to read it and I pretended to understand it but there is no doubt that Mrs B knows her stuff when it comes to dealing with mental instability - that's why she's managed to put up with me for 28 years!
So what else is happening in the world? Nothing new - bankers are wankers, the England football team didn't win anything, Wimbledon is here so it's raining lots, Wimbledon is here so Andy Murray will get beaten by Djokovic, Wimbledon is here so the Wombles have gone on holiday to Hampstead Heath.
Nothing changes - MP's still can't answer a question, the Pope is still Catholic and bears continue to defecate in the woods although Mrs B and I didn't spot any evidence of that in the Forest of Dean.
I suppose that French chap had it just about right when he wrote that the more things change the more they stay the same...
Oh well, the chocolate shadow is visiting and he has just indicated his desire to go for a walk and as this is a democracy and there are only two of us voting, he obviously wins. That's positive discrimination in action.
Enjoy the weekend and I may be back in the near future to report on Andy Murray winning Wimbledon...actually there is more chance of me becoming a Scientologist!
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