The View from the Hill on Saturday 27th February
The free form poetic me may well appear on a more regular basis, it makes writing more of a challenge and I'm sure it makes reading a challenge too - that is if anyone actually reads this anymore?
Last evening Mrs B and I were invited to spend time with Jane and Dave, Ramsey and Lottie, Emma and Ricky too.
I first of all want to apologise to Dave, he is a sensitive soul and was very upset when I hinted that his driving and texting was perhaps dangerous, without mentioning that I texted him back. So, sorry Dave. By the way, I think if they ever want to replace Norman Barrett, you will be on the list to get called. (He'll have to google Norman Barrett now).
We broke bread before settling down to watch Embarrassing Bodies - a programme that I had only glimpsed before whilst channel hopping - my goodness, it is really in your face!
Being in your face was not what you really wanted when this quite strange looking creature exposed his piles for all the world to see. They were beauties though, I have to admit, with lots of lively colours iridescent and glinting in the camera light, with just a touch of poo for contrast.
It reminded me of a male baboon and later, when they operated on him, they used what I would describe as a man drill, so baboon is about right.
There were scarred vaginas and rotten feet, breasts to cobble dogs with and an old lady who was ripping herself to pieces because of an itch. They solved her problem with anti depressants and a vibrator.
Now after watching this programme I am left with this question to answer - will I watch it again?
And I also have to ask this question - do you tell people, "I'm on the telly this week!" What a nice thing to do for your family and neighbours, sit there with your bits being prodded by an ugly doctor.
I suppose the idea behind the programme is that we should not be embarrassed by our bodies, perhaps this is true, but does that mean we have to flash our hairy arses and plum sized piles across a 42' plasma screen?
Quick change of direction, my vote didn't help and the Labour Party had a good time in the elections locally, is this a sign of things to come?
Although the election date has not been set, the electioneering has and we should all get prepared for the onslaught of negative campaigning that will follow.
On thing is for sure, if you want a little fun, you only have to wait for Nigel Farage to open his mouth - he certainly goes well over the top.
I've decided that the name Farage should be used as a noun, for example, 'he is not a real MP, it's just a farage'. It's like the effect you see on a very hot day, in the distance you think you see water glistening and welcoming and refreshing but as you get closer you realise that it's just a trick of the mind.
It's the same with lots of MP's - when you get close and have a good look you realise it's just not real - it's only a farage.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
On this day in 1932, Dame Elizabeth Taylor was created...she wasn't born, she was cast in alabaster and set with jewels before being gifted to the world.
Dame Betty has spread her beauty and her talent and given each of us so much to be thankful for.
She was in her first film aged 10 and at 11 she and little Roddy McDowell took second billing to Lassie.
At 12 she became a huge star when she rode a race horse, she did so wearing a coat patched together with bits from all around the world, it was her coat of National Velvet.
In the fifties, she was nearly as pretty as anything you could behold, only being upstaged by her co stars like Monty Clift and James Dean.
Then in the sixties she was Queen Cleopatra, a real VIP, before standing up to Virginia Woolf.
She found several husbands along the way, some of them she found twice, some of them didn't know they were lost - ask Debbie Reynolds.
As time passed so did her appearances on film and so did her beauty, but the beauty within began to shine forth.
Her charity work is peerless, her support for Michael Jackson was fearless.
With those violet eyes and those double lashes, she has seen the world veiled with sadness at times, but she is and will always be loved and respected because she is - Dame Elizabeth Taylor.
And that's a fact!
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Saturday, 27 February 2010
Friday, 26 February 2010
The View from the Hill on Friday 26th February
The sky is the colour of an old aluminium saucepan and the rain slants down like a /.
It isn't too cold and there is definitely a little more light in the sky than there was yesterday - the days are already stretching themselves out like a hibernating bear stretches after that long winter snooze.
The green heads of snowdrops and crocus are pushing into view, vying for the best position amongst the gravel and the discarded crisp packets.
As the rain meets the road, they introduce themselves to each other with a brief splash before the road escorts the rain down toward the oblivion of the drain.
The rain, feeling lonely on it's short journey, gathers little travelling companions as it passes by - dead insects twirl in the water, a biological log flume for microbes and the tiniest things that share our life and that eventually eat us.
The Magpies sit and chatter on the roof tops, conspiratorially planning their next raid. Like Apaches in a black and white movie, they set off with their vicious beaks and their shiny eyes to plunder and kill and laugh on the wing.
The two grey shadows sit by the door and watch all of this and they never speak, they watch and they record it in their doggy brains and I wonder, where is it all downloaded, who keeps the record of what a dog witnesses?
The cup is almost empty, the kettle is warm and the shower door has just opened, so the time is here - time to pluck the bag from the box and scald it to death so that Mrs B may set off on her journey equipped with tea strength coursing through her veins.
Today, I offer you a Dave bit - we will we be sharing time with Dave and his bit later on and that is the Dave bit for today.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
It's been one year since she died and nothing has changed
The Square is still Square
We are still being served the same things
So come outside
Wendy Richard 1943 - 2009
And that's a fact!
The sky is the colour of an old aluminium saucepan and the rain slants down like a /.
It isn't too cold and there is definitely a little more light in the sky than there was yesterday - the days are already stretching themselves out like a hibernating bear stretches after that long winter snooze.
The green heads of snowdrops and crocus are pushing into view, vying for the best position amongst the gravel and the discarded crisp packets.
As the rain meets the road, they introduce themselves to each other with a brief splash before the road escorts the rain down toward the oblivion of the drain.
The rain, feeling lonely on it's short journey, gathers little travelling companions as it passes by - dead insects twirl in the water, a biological log flume for microbes and the tiniest things that share our life and that eventually eat us.
The Magpies sit and chatter on the roof tops, conspiratorially planning their next raid. Like Apaches in a black and white movie, they set off with their vicious beaks and their shiny eyes to plunder and kill and laugh on the wing.
The two grey shadows sit by the door and watch all of this and they never speak, they watch and they record it in their doggy brains and I wonder, where is it all downloaded, who keeps the record of what a dog witnesses?
The cup is almost empty, the kettle is warm and the shower door has just opened, so the time is here - time to pluck the bag from the box and scald it to death so that Mrs B may set off on her journey equipped with tea strength coursing through her veins.
Today, I offer you a Dave bit - we will we be sharing time with Dave and his bit later on and that is the Dave bit for today.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
It's been one year since she died and nothing has changed
The Square is still Square
We are still being served the same things
So come outside
Wendy Richard 1943 - 2009
And that's a fact!
Thursday, 25 February 2010
The View from the Hill on Thursday 25th February
I just got to the end of writing the blog for today and it all disappeared!
Most strange and so I take it as a message from Mount Olympus that I should write something else.
I had written about crime and criminals in Nottingham but maybe the rant I had committed to electronic paper was too much anyway.
OK, so what to write about? Killer whales - too soon.
Ah, let me tell you about my return to the stage - I'm not going. It became obvious to me that it would be too stressful if they let some of the knob-heads present at the workshop to try and speak with a Welsh accent, especially as many of them could barely manage a Mansfield accent.
The one bad thing about having to start the blog again is that I now have time issues...but quickly, let me tell you about Percy Jackson and The Lightning Thief. I went to see it yesterday at the Odeon.
Odeon have decided not to show the new Alice in Wonderland by Tim Burton, it's something to do with DVD rights and release dates and...well, money I suppose.
Anyway they did show Percy Jackson and it was OK, but as usual it was the audience that were more entertaining.
One chap kept going out every twenty minutes and each time he returned he smelled even more smoky. I couldn't believe that your desire to kill yourself by smoking could be so strong as to drive you into the rain rather than sitting and watching the film you have paid for.
Thank goodness it was Orange Wednesday!
In the words of the White Rabbit, I'm late!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
On this day in 1841, Pierre-Auguste Renoir was born. A world famous artist and sculptor, his work is displayed throughout the world.
My second cousin Barry is in a similar trade but he sells his wares on Camden Market.
Barry sells little ceramic models of world famous golfers. His best seller is a model of Colin Montgomerie sniffing the inside of his hat after a very warm round of golf.
I said to Barry " Is it porcelain?"
Barry said 'No - it's capodourmonte!".
And that's a fact!
Wednesday, 24 February 2010
The View from the Hill on Wednesday 24th February
Why do dogs wait for the one day of the week that you can have a 'lay-in' to rise extra early?
I see on the news that a dog is to be awarded a medal for bravery, for sniffing out bombs in Afghanistan - and yesterday there was the news of the dog that fell 300ft off a cliff chasing a seagull (it survived). In those two stories we see the truth behind why we love dogs.
The cowardly Government caved into the religious mongrels and passed the amendment to the Children's Schools and Families Bill - basically the faith schools will still have to teach the mechanics of sex but they get to say nasty things about people they don't like and have legal backing to do so.
There seems little point on having any legislation about equality if you then pass another law allowing discrimination.
The Great Balls will be on TV this morning talking about teenage pregnancy and no doubt saying the levels are not down to him - I hope not, how would he explain that to his wife?
I get to vote tomorrow in a couple of local elections, looking forward to casting my ballots although with this cold weather I will do it carefully. You don't want to get frost bite in your ballots after all.
I have the dilemma of knowing four of the candidates and this makes voting a little tricky - do I vote for the party, the person, the policy?
A couple of the candidates are for UKIP, one Independent and one Liberal Democrat. I am usually a Liberal supporter but the candidate is not inspiring so I suppose that makes my decision a little easier. On the other hand, the UKIP policies are a long way from my own position and yet the UKIP candidate is charming, affable and we have similar tastes in music. Perhaps if I vote for UKIP and then throw salt over my shoulder, it might make me feel better.
The Independent will certainly get my vote as for once I know she actually is independent.
Now the next vote, bacon or beans for breakfast?
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
On this day in 1934, the actress Linda Cristal was born - I used to love watching her in The High Chaparral as Victoria. Big John Cannon, Buck and Blue, Manolito and the rest made for regular viewing in our house.
It had the most stirring theme music too.
I discovered this morning that the actor who sometimes played Cochise was actually Nino Cochise, the 92 year old one legged grandson of the real Cochise - no wonder he looked the part.
Anyway, no humour today, just a gentle reminder of TV from the past and a youtube search will no doubt find that theme and have it displayed for all to hear again very soon.
And that's a fact!
Why do dogs wait for the one day of the week that you can have a 'lay-in' to rise extra early?
I see on the news that a dog is to be awarded a medal for bravery, for sniffing out bombs in Afghanistan - and yesterday there was the news of the dog that fell 300ft off a cliff chasing a seagull (it survived). In those two stories we see the truth behind why we love dogs.
The cowardly Government caved into the religious mongrels and passed the amendment to the Children's Schools and Families Bill - basically the faith schools will still have to teach the mechanics of sex but they get to say nasty things about people they don't like and have legal backing to do so.
There seems little point on having any legislation about equality if you then pass another law allowing discrimination.
The Great Balls will be on TV this morning talking about teenage pregnancy and no doubt saying the levels are not down to him - I hope not, how would he explain that to his wife?
I get to vote tomorrow in a couple of local elections, looking forward to casting my ballots although with this cold weather I will do it carefully. You don't want to get frost bite in your ballots after all.
I have the dilemma of knowing four of the candidates and this makes voting a little tricky - do I vote for the party, the person, the policy?
A couple of the candidates are for UKIP, one Independent and one Liberal Democrat. I am usually a Liberal supporter but the candidate is not inspiring so I suppose that makes my decision a little easier. On the other hand, the UKIP policies are a long way from my own position and yet the UKIP candidate is charming, affable and we have similar tastes in music. Perhaps if I vote for UKIP and then throw salt over my shoulder, it might make me feel better.
The Independent will certainly get my vote as for once I know she actually is independent.
Now the next vote, bacon or beans for breakfast?
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
On this day in 1934, the actress Linda Cristal was born - I used to love watching her in The High Chaparral as Victoria. Big John Cannon, Buck and Blue, Manolito and the rest made for regular viewing in our house.
It had the most stirring theme music too.
I discovered this morning that the actor who sometimes played Cochise was actually Nino Cochise, the 92 year old one legged grandson of the real Cochise - no wonder he looked the part.
Anyway, no humour today, just a gentle reminder of TV from the past and a youtube search will no doubt find that theme and have it displayed for all to hear again very soon.
And that's a fact!
Tuesday, 23 February 2010
The View from the Hill on Tuesday 23rd February
Mrs Pratt - it didn't help.
The control freakery and the fear of losing power can all be seen in the debate today about sex education - the Government tries to back down a little and allow faith based schools to select how they teach the subject - why not allow the Flat Earth Society the same right if they had a school?
Why not allow faith schools to teach creationism?
Schools should be places to pass on facts to young people, not myths, legends or 'beliefs'.
Teach about faith but don't teach THE faith.
That's my political rant over, now my first report on the steps I am taking to reclaim the stage. Attending a workshop at The Palace Theatre last night, met the Director who seems quite fond of Under MilkWood, which is a good start, but it was quite apparent that many there had never read the piece nor even heard of it. That is a little worrying.
There are the usual suspects; the girl who thrusts her breasts at the director and whispers as she asks for advice about the best role - we all know what role she wants! Then the 'lad', loud and chipping in with loads of comments, usually laden with sexual innuendo. The older ladies, the kids from college, the semi pro's, and then the worst of the bunch, the prima donna.
We went through the usual ice breaking routines and some of the people I got to meet were very pleasant but I am not yet convinced that this is the place for me. I will go again on Wednesday before deciding if I will audition.
My stress levels will decide, will the passion I have for the words of Dylan Thomas be overridden by my need to kill someone who has no passion for the piece.
Now we come to the special section which I am introducing so as to make a certain someone feel wanted and special... this is the Dave bit.
Dave was driving his lorry to Newark yesterday when he spotted me in his rear view mirror and then he texted me, asking if it was me following him. At the time I thought, well done, obviously his road sense was in full working order and his awareness of other road users was finely tuned. Then it dawned on me that he was driving and texting at the same time just as we went over the narrow bridge at Kelham - and with Dave's history, bridges and lorries - well let's just say I'm lucky not to be at the bottom of the Trent.
But thanks Dave and watch out for future mentions of Dave in - the Dave bit.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
On this day in 1821, John Keats died. He wrote "a thing of beauty is a joy forever" - and of course he was a world famous romantic. In this modern world there seems little time for romance and a modern take on Keats might say - a thing of beauty is a joy until the next thing of beauty comes along.
He also wrote the Ode to a Grecian Urn which these days would be Ode to How Much Do You Earn?
I know we cannot return to those romantic days, nor even may we stray to the banks of the eighties, where the new romantics play, but oh, what joy may be still be found in those memories - so true, funny how it seems....
I think I had a new romantic moment.
And that's a fact!
Mrs Pratt - it didn't help.
The control freakery and the fear of losing power can all be seen in the debate today about sex education - the Government tries to back down a little and allow faith based schools to select how they teach the subject - why not allow the Flat Earth Society the same right if they had a school?
Why not allow faith schools to teach creationism?
Schools should be places to pass on facts to young people, not myths, legends or 'beliefs'.
Teach about faith but don't teach THE faith.
That's my political rant over, now my first report on the steps I am taking to reclaim the stage. Attending a workshop at The Palace Theatre last night, met the Director who seems quite fond of Under MilkWood, which is a good start, but it was quite apparent that many there had never read the piece nor even heard of it. That is a little worrying.
There are the usual suspects; the girl who thrusts her breasts at the director and whispers as she asks for advice about the best role - we all know what role she wants! Then the 'lad', loud and chipping in with loads of comments, usually laden with sexual innuendo. The older ladies, the kids from college, the semi pro's, and then the worst of the bunch, the prima donna.
We went through the usual ice breaking routines and some of the people I got to meet were very pleasant but I am not yet convinced that this is the place for me. I will go again on Wednesday before deciding if I will audition.
My stress levels will decide, will the passion I have for the words of Dylan Thomas be overridden by my need to kill someone who has no passion for the piece.
Now we come to the special section which I am introducing so as to make a certain someone feel wanted and special... this is the Dave bit.
Dave was driving his lorry to Newark yesterday when he spotted me in his rear view mirror and then he texted me, asking if it was me following him. At the time I thought, well done, obviously his road sense was in full working order and his awareness of other road users was finely tuned. Then it dawned on me that he was driving and texting at the same time just as we went over the narrow bridge at Kelham - and with Dave's history, bridges and lorries - well let's just say I'm lucky not to be at the bottom of the Trent.
But thanks Dave and watch out for future mentions of Dave in - the Dave bit.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
On this day in 1821, John Keats died. He wrote "a thing of beauty is a joy forever" - and of course he was a world famous romantic. In this modern world there seems little time for romance and a modern take on Keats might say - a thing of beauty is a joy until the next thing of beauty comes along.
He also wrote the Ode to a Grecian Urn which these days would be Ode to How Much Do You Earn?
I know we cannot return to those romantic days, nor even may we stray to the banks of the eighties, where the new romantics play, but oh, what joy may be still be found in those memories - so true, funny how it seems....
I think I had a new romantic moment.
And that's a fact!
Monday, 22 February 2010
The View from the Hill on Monday 22nd February
It is going to be a long cold day, but at least listening to how this 'bullygate' thing develops will keep me interested.
I'm afraid though that the lady from the Bullying Help Line has a very appropriate name if she thinks her intervention can do any good - sorry Ms Pratt.
By breaching confidentiality she automatically loses credibility in my eyes and although it is understandable that she might feel she is standing up for victims of bullying, she is actually undermining her own organisations position - I mean who will ring them now?
What she will realise is that these spin doctors in Number 10 are real experts at a very dirty game and she is a mere amateur and they will have great pleasure in destroying her, her charity and any who stand between them and their crusade to re-draw in our minds, the impression we have of Polyphemus Brown.
She is being interviewed on TV soon, will have a listen.
Now I'm a great lover of the film work of Vanessa Redgrave but she will never win awards for making acceptance speeches - how embarrassing. And I have to say how much I miss Lord Dickie at these events, he is one of my heroes and I start to fill up just thinking about a world that has no Dickie.
Well done to Colin Firth and Carey Mulligan for their wins and especially well done Bafta for giving Best Film to The Hurt Locker - I have not seen it yet but it must be better than that pile of blue drivel that Cameron turned out.
The show itself was a quite dreary affair, glad I was able to skip bits thanks to Sky+ ( do you think if I keep mentioning it they will give me a free HD box?)
Anyway, a full day ahead so must move on....
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Today is World Thinking Day - this is the day designed by Lord and Lady Baden-Powell in which you are supposed to focus on what it means to be a girl guide or a girl scout.
I often think what it would be like to be a girl guide or at least to dress like one, and to know that there is a day that celebrates that makes me feel normal and wanted.
Would you like to see my woggle?
Thank you the Baden-Powells for understanding.
And that's a fact!
It is going to be a long cold day, but at least listening to how this 'bullygate' thing develops will keep me interested.
I'm afraid though that the lady from the Bullying Help Line has a very appropriate name if she thinks her intervention can do any good - sorry Ms Pratt.
By breaching confidentiality she automatically loses credibility in my eyes and although it is understandable that she might feel she is standing up for victims of bullying, she is actually undermining her own organisations position - I mean who will ring them now?
What she will realise is that these spin doctors in Number 10 are real experts at a very dirty game and she is a mere amateur and they will have great pleasure in destroying her, her charity and any who stand between them and their crusade to re-draw in our minds, the impression we have of Polyphemus Brown.
She is being interviewed on TV soon, will have a listen.
Now I'm a great lover of the film work of Vanessa Redgrave but she will never win awards for making acceptance speeches - how embarrassing. And I have to say how much I miss Lord Dickie at these events, he is one of my heroes and I start to fill up just thinking about a world that has no Dickie.
Well done to Colin Firth and Carey Mulligan for their wins and especially well done Bafta for giving Best Film to The Hurt Locker - I have not seen it yet but it must be better than that pile of blue drivel that Cameron turned out.
The show itself was a quite dreary affair, glad I was able to skip bits thanks to Sky+ ( do you think if I keep mentioning it they will give me a free HD box?)
Anyway, a full day ahead so must move on....
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Today is World Thinking Day - this is the day designed by Lord and Lady Baden-Powell in which you are supposed to focus on what it means to be a girl guide or a girl scout.
I often think what it would be like to be a girl guide or at least to dress like one, and to know that there is a day that celebrates that makes me feel normal and wanted.
Would you like to see my woggle?
Thank you the Baden-Powells for understanding.
And that's a fact!
Sunday, 21 February 2010
The View from the Hill on Sunday 21st February
At 5am this morning, just before the blizzard hit, I was stood outside in my slippers and pyjamas armed only with a kitchen knife and a torch. But I defeated the intruder.....alarm. I ripped it's bloody batteries out!
The damn thing had been ringing on and off since 9pm and must have been driving the neighbours mad - luckily I don't care for the neighbours but it was keeping me awake which I will not tolerate!
So the day is now all to cock, the snow has meant the cancellation of lunch at Rufford and I am having to devise my strategy for tomorrow as I have to be at Lincoln and then Nottingham.
The only upside I can see is that I don't have to shave and I can stay in my kaftan all day.
Poor old Gordon, they didn't even let him have his birthday before they started on him, well never mind. If you can't stand the heat don't set fire to your trousers as I always say.
I can understand anyone under stress resorting to foul language and violence, that was me at 5am, and he has the added pressure of people like me sniping at him from all sides, calling him names and doubting his parentage. But why can't he be like other famous PM's and resort to drinking and drugs rather than violence?
If he turned to booze he could put his glassy eyed stare down to that. (I know, it's cheap and nasty of me to mock the afflicted but I am not a nice person at the best of times and after a sleepless night I can be a real bastard).
Oh well, I better make a start on work, Mrs B will be asleep somewhere, the dogs keep wanting to go and play in the snow and all I can think about is why did I pick now to give up alcohol!?
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
On this day in 1918, the last Carolina Parakeet died in captivity in Cincinnati zoo. The bird was to be officially declared extinct in 1939.
The last example of the only native parrot of the Eastern US died in the same cage that the last Passenger Pigeon had died in - I hope they threw it away after that and I bet there was not a queue of birds wanting to take up residence in the cage of death!
I suppose that cage for the bird world must have been like the Dignitas Clinic for humans.
I wonder how many passengers a pigeon could carry?
Today is also the birthday of Robert Mugabe - and I have suddenly thought of a great idea for the cage of death.
And that's a fact!
At 5am this morning, just before the blizzard hit, I was stood outside in my slippers and pyjamas armed only with a kitchen knife and a torch. But I defeated the intruder.....alarm. I ripped it's bloody batteries out!
The damn thing had been ringing on and off since 9pm and must have been driving the neighbours mad - luckily I don't care for the neighbours but it was keeping me awake which I will not tolerate!
So the day is now all to cock, the snow has meant the cancellation of lunch at Rufford and I am having to devise my strategy for tomorrow as I have to be at Lincoln and then Nottingham.
The only upside I can see is that I don't have to shave and I can stay in my kaftan all day.
Poor old Gordon, they didn't even let him have his birthday before they started on him, well never mind. If you can't stand the heat don't set fire to your trousers as I always say.
I can understand anyone under stress resorting to foul language and violence, that was me at 5am, and he has the added pressure of people like me sniping at him from all sides, calling him names and doubting his parentage. But why can't he be like other famous PM's and resort to drinking and drugs rather than violence?
If he turned to booze he could put his glassy eyed stare down to that. (I know, it's cheap and nasty of me to mock the afflicted but I am not a nice person at the best of times and after a sleepless night I can be a real bastard).
Oh well, I better make a start on work, Mrs B will be asleep somewhere, the dogs keep wanting to go and play in the snow and all I can think about is why did I pick now to give up alcohol!?
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
On this day in 1918, the last Carolina Parakeet died in captivity in Cincinnati zoo. The bird was to be officially declared extinct in 1939.
The last example of the only native parrot of the Eastern US died in the same cage that the last Passenger Pigeon had died in - I hope they threw it away after that and I bet there was not a queue of birds wanting to take up residence in the cage of death!
I suppose that cage for the bird world must have been like the Dignitas Clinic for humans.
I wonder how many passengers a pigeon could carry?
Today is also the birthday of Robert Mugabe - and I have suddenly thought of a great idea for the cage of death.
And that's a fact!
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