The View from the Hill on Saturday 9th January

And still it snows.

Over thinking things and reading too much into the things people say to you was something that used to haunt me - I'm better now.

Yesterday, I carried out the funeral of a former colleague and that meant that there were many ex colleagues present, some of whom I hadn't seen for twelve years or so.

After the ceremony on of these men walked across and shook my hand and said with a big grin on his face, "you were a bloody awful police man but you are a bloody amazing vicar".

Now at some point in the past that comment would have set alarm bells ringing, I wouldn't have heard a compliment only a criticism, and I would have lost sleep over it and worried for weeks how I could prove that man wrong - but I'm better now.

You see, all the skills and ability that obviously make me a bloody good vicar, are skills that I had when I was a bloody awful police man, it's just that now they are recognised as strengths not weaknesses.

Compassion, empathy, listening skills, all of these were with me from 1978 to 1997 but they didn't suit the stereotype of the police man of the day - we were in those Life on Mars days in so many ways.

George Dixon had been replaced by Jack Regan. I stayed true to my nature and it didn't make for an easy life sometimes - but I'm better now.

Yesterday, a room full of Jack Regan's shook my hand and thanked me for my George Dixon-ness and I knew once and for all that I was not a bloody awful police man, I was just a different type of police man in the same way that I am a different type of vicar, a vicar without god, and I am certainly better now!

Now look, I haven't told this story to blow my own trumpet, the idea is that you should learn to accept the person you are, be yourself and embrace that fully and you too, like me, can find fulfilment and peace.

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On this day we celebrate the feast of St Theophan the Recluse, he was a bishop in the Russian Orthodox Church and he did many many wonderful things (try saying that last bit like Commandant Lassard in the Police Academy films).

He also leaves behind many wonderful sayings, a favourite of mine being:

"You must kill egoism. If you don't kill it yourself, then the Lord, hammer-blow after hammer-blow, shall send various misfortunes, so as to crush this stone".

Cheerful bugger wasn't he?

I have wonderful sayings too, one of my pseudonyms is GuruDrew and so I offer for your thought of the day:

Go forth and multiply, divide and conquer, but wear a vest because it's a bit parky out!

or

Do unto others before the bastards can do it unto you

or

If at first you don't succeed, change hands

or

If you are going to suck a Fisherman's Friend - please get the permission of the Fisherman

And that's a fact!

The View from the Hill on Friday 8th January

The Junior Partner and I recorded another podcast last night - the ramblings of two slightly befuddled individuals but I make no apology if you manage to hear it - it is after all called - You Might Regret It.

The JP had been round and had cooked us our tea, a chicken curry in which he prepared his own paste using lemon grass, peanuts and not quite enough shallots - but the end result was very nice.

Early to bed and now early to rise as I have a long long day - starting soon I shall depart for Lincoln and then I have visits in Washingborough, Cherry Willingham, back in Mansfield and then Grantham at 7pm.

I don't know what the round trip mileage will be, but by the time I get back tonight it will be dark and cold and I will be cold and in a dark mood.

So, sorry but no time to sit about and blog today, must drink my tea, have a shower and bog off!

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On this day 75 years ago, Elvis Presley was born - and he died in 1977.

Not very funny but bloody true and one thing is for sure...

That's a hunk a hunk a burning fact!

The View from the Hill on Thursday 7th January

Brrrrr. (How many r's are there in brrrrr?)

Polyphemus Brown dodges another bullet, thanks to poor aim by Geoff Hoon amongst others. Hoon is the MP for the adjoining seat to Mansfield and he is about as popular as a bout of leprosy at the moment. I'm not sure if he intends to stand at the next election but there is a decent chance that the Lib Dems might nick the seat, I know the candidate is out pounding the streets, looking for support - good on ya Jason.

As all these cabinet ministers line up to support the PM, I want to you to remember their names and faces because in a few months time, when Labour are thrown out of office (perhaps) it will be the same faces who parade out in front of the TV cameras and blame poor leadership as one of the reasons they lost!

I don't want you to think that I am turning the blog into some sort of political tool, we don't need another political tool, there are already 646 of them in Westminster.

I'm actually not a very party political person, I don't feel obliged to follow one party and have voted for various parties over the last few elections, usually in an effort to oust a sitting MP or council because how else can you make some of these idiots understand?

In Mansfield, we have many Independents, and they have banded together into an Independent Party - I know, it's daft isn't it - vote for me because I am independent, and then watch as I agree with everyone else.

I think the coming election will be a chance to have a good shake up, get rid of some old guard and give a few new faces a chance, that is if we change the rules about expenses before they go in. In fact, people standing for election should declare what their intentions are with regards to expenses, we should know in advance where their primary residences will be for example.

One thing is for sure, whoever gets in will wish they hadn't - tax rises to come and public spending cuts will make them as popular after one year as Polyphemus is now.

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On this day in 1536, Catherine of Aragon died. She was the first wife of Henry VIII and had been married to the man who should have been king if he had not died allowing Henry to inherit the throne.

It was her fault we have a Church of England!


And thats's a fact!

The View from the Hill on Wednesday 6th January

And the country grinds to a halt under a few inches of snow.

Absolute chaos yesterday in Mansfield, one small section of road through the middle of town was like an ice rink and it was taking more than an hour to move about twenty yards.

I walked to the crematorium, passing the queues of vehicles and I couldn't help but wonder where they were all going? Anyway, the gridlock that followed meant that the funeral I was to conduct at 12.30 actually started at 2.30pm.

I did call in at our local shop on the way back but the shelves were almost empty, a lack of deliveries as well as panic buying had set in, there were people buying wholemeal bread for the first time in their life because it was the only loaf left on the shelf!

Schools remain closed today and more snow is forecast I will not be adding to travel problems because I will postpone my trips to Lincoln and Grantham today - I mean why risk it when I can accomplish the task over the phone?

Nice to see Hustle back on the TV, although they are struggling to find the twists for the stories that made the programme a hit in the first place, it's still nice to see Kelly Adams doing well.

Along with a couple of regular blog readers, I appeared on stage with Kelly's mum more than a few times - is that a claim to fame? Probably not.

So, a day tucked up inside and a chance to watch Hamlet perhaps?

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On this day in 1993, Rudolf Nureyev died.

On the 24th June 1984, at the Royal Hotel in Nottingham, a family party was held, there were Mrs B and myself and our respective parents siblings and some others but as we entered the building we met with Mr Nureyev coming out. I don't mean coming out, I mean leaving the building.

He was wearing a matching brown leather jacket, trousers and beret and I remember thinking that there were not many men I knew who could pull that look off.

I don't know why he was in Nottingham, the following day he danced at The Opera House in Paris so perhaps he just wanted to stop off on his way to buy some lace or see the statue of Robin Hood?

I never thought of myself as a dancer, although there was one occasion where, dressed in matching shirt and trousers and with a latex tail attached, I danced with a group of fellow students in The Old Market Square in Nottingham. It wasn't ballet, it was contemporary dance. Indeed!

So there we are, I went one better than Nureyev, not only did I wear matching clothes in Nottingham, I danced in them and showed my tail -  he didn't.

And that's a fact!

The View from the Hill on Tuesday 5th January

Back to school day in England and Mrs B is preparing for work. It is a big day for her but more on that in the days ahead.

The weather is the news again, I've just been out and de-iced the cars and there is a little snow falling but the roads seem ok.

I have posted on Facebook a question about John Hurt, why isn't he Sir John? Seems that people agree with me, and this question came to mind when I watched An Englishman in New York, his re-visiting of Quentin Crisp towards the final part of his life.

It was just wonderful, to see the transformation that Hurt pulls off and to become so lost in his portrayal that it moved me to tears on occasion.

I'm not saying that Patrick Stewart is a bad actor, but when you think about the iconic and award winning roles that Hurt has delivered for so long, why not give him the K?

I understand that his private life has sometimes been interesting but if Tom Jones and Elton John are worthy, so is John Hurt.

There is another reason I would like to see him knighted, he is a local lad to me here in Mansfield as he was born in Shirebrook which is just up the road.

Perhaps I should start one of those Facebook petitions, with plenty of CAPITAL LETTERS and Speeling misstakes - wot U fink?

Get John Hurt a K would be the second group I would start, the first would be Let's Ban Facebook Groups!

Short shrift today, lots of work to do.

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On this day in 1477, the Battle of Nancy took place and Charles The Bold was killed.

One of my distant relatives was there, his name was Nancy and it had made him quite an angry young man. He joined the Army and marched off to war with some more Nancy's and the odd Beryl.

As they stood on the field of battle, Charles The Bold rode out to meet the opposing Army, his best friends, Eric the Not Quite So Bold, and Claude the Downright Timid, rode with him.

They faced the approaching Nancy's and associated men with womens names and demanded they leave the field, but a big rough tough Mary, threw her iron clad handbag and it struck Charles's horse right in the fetlocks. The horse was not happy and when Charles the Bold asked him if he was alright the horse said "Neigh".

Then other members of the Nancy Army got in on the act, there were all sorts of weaponry used, Glenys and her reinforced powder puff made quick work of Claude, Beryl pulled out her huge club, and the shock scared the already nervous horse under Charles and it tossed him off and then as it turned to run away, it accidentally stamped on his cod piece - and that was the end of Charles The Bold.

The army of Charles was chased from the field by screaming Nancy's and shrieking Yvonne's, and after their victory they set up a number of tea rooms and bed and breakfasts for any Nancy who wanted to visit the scene of their greatest victory.

And that's a fact!

The View from the Hill on Monday 4th January

There is an old saying - Let sleeping dogs lie. I wonder if dogs have old sayings, if so I suspect one will be 'Never let a sleeping human lie if there's a chance that by waking him up you will get a biscuit!'

6.15am and Jake is dancing around the bedroom like a demented Anton Du Beke, his problem being that not only does he want to go and run around the garden, but the normal path to quell this urge has been blocked as Danny has been laying on the bed most of the night! You see normally when Jake arises early he can be tempted back to sleep by offering him a space on the end of the bed, but with his brother laid there, this option was lost to him, and us.

And someone had the nerve to say we spoil our dogs.

Anyway, it seems I am doomed to see as much of the 4th of January as possible, and the first thing I was able to do was correct the date stamp on yesterdays blog from December to January (even my proof reader missed that one) but now I am left with this feeling of what to write about?

Not Celebrity Big Brother, as I have never heard of most of the so called Celebrities, which I think says more about my age than anything else.

The news isn't that interesting to me at the moment, although with an election on the horizon I suspect things will be a little more exciting quite soon.

If you read yesterdays blog you will understand why I visited the Facebook group which has been set up to protest the march in Wootton Bassett - I joined the group, read some of the comments and then left the group as quickly as possible! My goodness, some of the comments made the Daily Mail look like the Beano!

This is turning into a ramble, but not for the first time I hear you shout, but wait a minute, I heard about another awful vicar yesterday, who shouts at the bereaved and demands that they do things her way or (and I quote) "you're not getting your dead relative in my Christian church yard". You see, a family wants the ashes of their mum to be placed with the ashes of their late dad but the Vicar won't allow it because they are having a non religious ceremony! The welcome and the support of the C of E - it's what being British is all about you know!

I have a busy day today, starting with getting the boxes out of the loft so Mrs B can de-christmas, I will be heading off to Lincoln today, and in many ways it is just another day - but as you will see from the next section, just another day is OK with me.

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On this day in 2009, I had a heart attack. It wasn't fatal.

I had returned from a trip to Rick Stein's cooking school in Padstow and felt awful and ended up doing the theatrical chest clutching and falling over, Mrs B got the paramedics and anyway, I didn't die.

As an aside, my mother in law bought me a Rick Stein cook book for Christmas, a nice reminder!

Anyway, I hope I have made good use of the last 365 days, and I hope to make good use of the days that lay ahead of me. Obviously part of each day will be spent sitting in front of the keyboard trying to think of something decent to say - and probably failing!

And that's a fact!

The View from the Hill on Sunday 3rd January

It's Sunday so let's talk religion.

The shopping centre bosses want longer opening hours, people want to shop and they want to sell them things so why not? Religious objections?

The group known as Islam4UK want to march through Wootton Bassett to highlight the many dead Afghani civilians killed during the conflict, it's a free country so why not? Religious objections?

I know one seems trivial compared to the other but it is the second of the two cases that we will examine more closely today, that is unless you're going shopping.

Wootton Bassett - two words that have taken on a whole new resonance because of the dignity and pride shown to our fallen troops as they are repatriated. The streets lined with quiet crowds of locals and those who have travelled many miles to be there, yes, dignified is the word I would use.

Less dignified I suspect would be the scenes if the Islam4UK march goes ahead - and although I have no objection to them actually marching to protest their point of view, their choice of location is one made to elicit an undignified response and for that reason alone, they should be stopped.

Those service men who died in Afghanistan died to protect our way of life, part of which is freedom of speech and religious expression (or in my case non religious expression) which means groups like the National Front or Islam4UK get a chance to have their voice heard but that same freedom should give the majority the right to say no and this is one occasion when we should all say - NO!

So, religious objections? No, it should not be about anti Islam or pro Christian - making our objection to the march a religious one is a mistake as it plays into the hands of those who accuse this county of being anti Islam - we can just say, march somewhere else, leave Wootton Bassett alone, please Islam4UK show some dignity.

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On this day in 1521, Pope Leo X excommunicates Martin Luther by way of a papal bull - he then further admonishes him by way of a papal sheep. Later in the year, just to rub salt in the wound, the Pope send Luther a papal rabbit but by now Luther is onto Leo and he eats the rabbit and returns the bones to the Vatican. The Pope canonises the dead papal rabbit and he becomes Saint Fluffy of Saxony, whose sacrifice at the hands of the heretic will always be remembered.

And that's a fact!