It's A Lovely Day...

and you should all be outside in the sunshine, looking at the garden and thinking springy thoughts.

I must apologise for abandoning you for a few days, you are the Guru's latchkey kids, left to fend for yourself and I hope you didn't have to resort to eating out of skips behind Waitrose.

I have been busy my little tender loins, busy making arrangements for Mrs B's birthday - making plans and secreting gifts around the ashram...and what a gift I have for her! More after the event.

Thanks again for the messages of support with regards to my ongoing battle with pain - I have managed to hypnotise myself into numbness now - the shoulder responding to my needs and the pain blocked through a mixture of Jedi mind trickery and a Derren Brown self help tape.

I needed to deal with this pain issue as I had to wield the might Dyson around the temple as we are having a state visit by the Senior Mr & Mrs B - there are parts of the carpet that went into shock as I lifted the chair leg and hoovered!

I have also been busy juggling an idea, let me float it in your direction and see what you think.

Several people have asked if I will help them become celebrants - not Guru's - just plain celebrants and I think it is a good idea for me to inseminate them with my seeds of wisdom. A small workshop or seminar in which we can open up to each other and explore those parts that other Guru's cannot reach.

I have already sketched a basic plan for the day and now need a suitable venue - I would invite them to my hill top garden of wisdom but Mrs B wouldn't like strangers coughing on the furniture (thank you Dylan Thomas), so I have started putting feelers out with the Co-Op for a little sponsorship and perhaps some free tea bags.

Now, if you were interested in joining my little self awareness clinic - I would only be too pleased to see you and there would be no fee ( just an admin charge for the paperwork - about £20 should cover it).

So, what do you think? Any takers?

Was that a car door? Have the Seniors arrived?

Better get the kettle on - be happy my little saplings!

The Cold Shoulder

Another Monday morning and what stretches ahead is a week filled with pain, as so many weeks in the past have been filled with pain - but because I am a man, and a fine example of the species, you will never hear me complain.

I have a bad shoulder, it's been giving me some problems for a while and means that if I move my arm in a certain way excruciating pain rips through my body and it is only my self control and manly resolve that prevents me from passing out.  Luckily, the action of typing does not cause pain - well not for me anyway.

I can still lift my fine china tea cup as well as my glass of Pinot, I can still manage to open the odd packet of Quavers and I even managed to cook a very fine meal for Mothering Sunday (slow roast shoulder of lamb, cooked on an organic trivet of carrot, shallot,celery and potato). There was plenty of meat left over so I will be able to put my pain aside and make a batch of curry - that's one way to deal with cold shoulder.

As a man who holds firm views about certain aspects of life, I have also had to get used to the other sort of cold shoulder, living life apart from the mainstream, persecuted for my views and not allowed to reach my full potential - I was thinking about this the other day, how great I could be if I had the chance to be on the television.

Perhaps I should apply to go on The Big Question, the BBC Sunday morning discussion programme - I watched a bit of it again this week, it always makes me angry. This week they had that bitter old failed actress Ann Atkins on, a rabid God-botherer who looks down her nose at the likes of me. Excuse me for asking but why does her opinion matter?

I will begin my campaign to get a seat on that programme so I can tell the world my view and perhaps then the cold shoulders will turn into open welcoming arms, the same manner of welcome I get from you my dear faithful, mindless sheep in the flock of the Guru.

I have so much to give and to share, there is so much you can learn from me - for example, if you want to save money on your shopping, don't buy a new dispenser of sweeteners, buy the refill pack...I know you've tried it before and I know it took forever to get all those little pills through the little hole in the bottom of the dispenser but I am here to tell you that there is another way - the damn thing has a lid.

Oh well, the pain in my shoulder needs toast and another cup of tea, I must then prepare for a visit to the dentist - more pain. But I am a MAN and no sign of the agony will be seen on my face (my buttocks might be very tightly clenched though!)

What a Waste

I was going to write a silly blog about mothers day but I can't - I just want to say to the mother of PC Ronan Kerr, killed in a bomb blast in Omagh, that no mother should have to live with that loss - and to the mother of the man who planted the bomb, well I hope you can find the words to explain what a good son you have.

364 days

And tomorrow is day 365 - a year since we said our tearful farewell to Danny.

Mrs B and I still get upset when we think about him and that is why you might notice our departure from the cyber world for a couple of days. But Danny will be with us, he has never left us in a way.

Danny

There is one best place to bury a dog.

If you bury him in this spot, he will come to you when you call - 

come to you over the grim, dim frontier of death, 

and down the well-remembered path, and to your side again.  

And though you call a dozen living dogs to heel, they shall not growl at

him, nor resent his coming, for he belongs there.

People may scoff at you, who see no lightest blade of grass bent by his

footfall, who hear no whimper, people who may never really have had a dog.

Smile at them, for you shall know something that is hidden from them,

and which is well worth the knowing.

The one best place to bury a good dog is in the heart of his master. 

B H Lampman

Libya.

Just a quick thought about the situation in Libya - initially I was for the UN backed action, if for no other reason than to stop a massacre in Benghazi, but what they are doing now seems a little too much.

The NATO spokesmen said today that it is not about taking sides, it is about protecting civilians who come under fire and this is all that is happening. It is a consequence of this action that allows the rebels to strengthen their position and move along the coast towards Tripoli.

A consequence...

So, bombing tanks and other legitimate targets loyal to Gaddafi because of the threat to civilian life is OK according to the coalition of forces involved in the action - so what happens when the bombing allows the rebels to stand at the gates of Tripoli where they begin to shell the city - thereby endangering the lives of civilians?

If this happens, and there is no reason why it could not happen, will NATO forces drop bombs on the rebel troops?

Answers please, addressed to Dr Liam Fox, and in doing so we might remind him of part of the oath that many in his profession swear:


'I will remember that I remain a member of society, with special obligations to all my fellow human beings'...

Yes Dr Fox - even to those loyal to Gaddafi.

We may not like it but if we are not even handed in our dealings in Libya - it will just be another Iraq.

Just my view...