Mrs B and I have had a very full diary of late with work and family issues plus we managed to squeeze in a weekend away in the Forest of Dean - these are not excuses for my absence as I'm sure you have not really missed me.
Whilst in the Forest of Dean, we took the time to wander through Puzzle Wood which is where they film some scenes for Merlin - I did search for the boy wizard and Mrs B later admitted she was hoping to bump into King Arthur - charming! I didn't know he was on the list of chaps she would leave me for. I think Michael Ball is no longer at the top of the list - she seems to have developed a thing for Neil Grayston (Douglas Fargo in Eureka).
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| Mrs B's new crush |
Mrs B and I celebrated our 28th wedding anniversary whilst we were away and I think that makes ours one of the longest celebrity marriages in history. With all the stress and strain of fame, we have found a way to rise above it all - it's called humility.
This is why we continue to shop in Tesco when by rights we should have our groceries delivered by Ocado - it's because we want to stay grounded and not forget our humble beginnings. You would find it hard to believe that as a little baby Guru I was raised in very humble surroundings, my bed was a straw filled manger and I could never get any sleep because all these wise men kept popping in with useless presents. It begs the question, how wise could they have been if they thought a curious little Guru would not try and eat the frankincense? Hang on, I could be getting my childhood confused with someone else's again. Anyway, humble humble...
We could shop at our new Sainsbury store but it's very dangerous getting across the car park as the old folks battle it out for the disabled spaces nearest the entrance. They don't care if the car gets a dent or two, it's probably on Motobility anyway.
Whilst we are on the subject of celebrity marriage, the news has just broken that Katie Holmes is filing for divorce...a real shock!
Tom Cruise seemed to have everything going for him - good looks, health, more money than he could ever hope to spend in one lifetime, dazzling white teeth, the moral compass of his faith...what on earth does Katie think she is doing? Just because he believes in all that Scientology drivel and hangs about with John Travolta does not make him a bad person. It makes him something else.
Does the Church of Scientology believe in forgiveness I wonder? We will see.
The Church of England does believe in forgiveness as we witnessed the artist formerly known as Mrs Windsor shaking hands with the artist formerly known as a murdering cowardly scumbag.
The Queen personified grace and Martin McGuinness personifies progress I suppose - that handshake might move the peace process on a little further so it should be applauded. I recall having to write an essay about the threat of terrorism, this was in 1978 and so the bulk of the essay was concerned with Northern Ireland. Imagine if you were sitting down to write about terrorism today - Ireland would not even get a mention I suppose.
The world has changed a lot in the 28 years that Mrs B and I have been married, for one thing she is now officially the cleverest member of the family as her first class honours degree out classes my 50m breast stroke badge. She continues to impress me and her latest piece of work is a 3000 word essay on mental health issues in young people and the co morbidity of other factors such as autism. She asked me to read it and I pretended to understand it but there is no doubt that Mrs B knows her stuff when it comes to dealing with mental instability - that's why she's managed to put up with me for 28 years!
So what else is happening in the world? Nothing new - bankers are wankers, the England football team didn't win anything, Wimbledon is here so it's raining lots, Wimbledon is here so Andy Murray will get beaten by Djokovic, Wimbledon is here so the Wombles have gone on holiday to Hampstead Heath.
Nothing changes - MP's still can't answer a question, the Pope is still Catholic and bears continue to defecate in the woods although Mrs B and I didn't spot any evidence of that in the Forest of Dean.
I suppose that French chap had it just about right when he wrote that the more things change the more they stay the same...
Oh well, the chocolate shadow is visiting and he has just indicated his desire to go for a walk and as this is a democracy and there are only two of us voting, he obviously wins. That's positive discrimination in action.
Enjoy the weekend and I may be back in the near future to report on Andy Murray winning Wimbledon...actually there is more chance of me becoming a Scientologist!
