The Glamorous Life
When I look back over previous blog entries, there have been far too many that are rooted in my experiences in supermarkets or supermarket car parks. I wonder what it is about these places that brings out the worst in people?
I rarely venture to Tesco anymore. Having referred to it as ‘The Temple of Doom’ for so many years, I really started to believe I would end up having my heart ripped out in the freezer section; sacrificed to the gods of capitalism & consumerism by a management trainee called Barry.
There I would lie, on a bed of freshly shredded red cabbage, clutching my comestibles and gasping my last words: “How much?”
Mrs B is an Aldi fan. I cannot enter for fear of tripping over the produce that litters the floor after the marauding hordes have passed through. She made me go in with her once and I felt quite ill watching one lady interfering with the bananas.
Luckily there is a Sainsbury’s next door. It’s not quite Waitrose but the wine section is very well stocked and it’s right next to the freezer section where the fish fingers can be found.
The great thing about ‘Doom’ was zap and pack. You could literally, enter the dreaded building, do your shopping and exit without having to interact with a single human being. Bliss.
How brilliant was it to recently discover that Sainsbury’s now offer a similar service. Packing your bags as you walk around the store and then walking past all the tweed jackets & twin set and pearl brigade who are too posh to scan their own shopping - you beat all the queues.
Of course you do have to wait for someone to authorise that you’re actually old enough to buy Merlot but that’s one minor irritant in the scheme of things.
But then the adventure really begins as you have to escape the car park. It would be easier for the Enterprise to escape a black hole.
It’s impossible to explain how badly designed the roads around Sainsbury’s are. Sufficed to say, one road services two supermarkets, a cinema, three restaurants, the bingo hall and a fast food drive through.
There are points in the day when the whole area is in gridlock.
These are the days you just have to be patient and polite.
I always make sure that as I crawl along, I let one car in from each junction I pass. We are moving so slowly that one more car in front of me doesn’t make much difference.
Today, the man behind me had a different idea - he didn't like that I was letting cars into the stream of traffic. He gave me a little peep on his horn. I ignored him and let two cars emerge at the next junction.
When I got home, the fish fingers hadn’t defrosted so all in all a successful trip.
Next time you’re sitting in a traffic jam, worrying about your perishables, resist the urge to peep. Resistance isn’t always futile.
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