I'm Neither A Lady Nor A Tramp

Even though I do get too hungry to wait for dinner at eight, I love the theatre and I never get there late, I never really bother with people I dislike, I am a gentleman of high moral fibre. Do you think it would make a nice song lyric?

What's he on about now you all cry?

Theatre darling, theatre!

You know that Mrs B and I are real culture vultures, as I type this I have just booked tickets to see the John Wilson Orchestra at the Royal Centre in Nottingham later this year, in the pipeline we have tickets for John Barrowman, the John Barry memorial concert at The Albert Hall, we hope to see Lend Me A Tenor in the West End in a couple of weeks time, tickets are secured for Sweeney Todd at The Chichester Festival and already this week we saw Michael Ball at the Concert Hall in Nottingham.

I'm sure there are many in Mansfield, and other areas, who are not fortunate enough to have the resources which allows this degree of theatrical attendance, but I'm also sure that most live within reach of a local theatre group and this morning I want to motivate you all to find a local theatre group, see what they are doing and go treat yourselves to a night in the theatre - it's cheaper than the cinema!

Last night I paid my £6.50 and joined an almost capacity audience at my local theatre in Mansfield, The Palace. The play was Brassed Off and the cast was made up of members of the local community - some of whom I had acted with myself on many occasions.

With wonderful support from the Newstead Brass Band, the actors told the story of a community dealing with loss - the closure of the pit, the impact on family life and on individual self esteem.

It was a very rewarding experience and the play was a perfect choice for Mansfield, a town which has its own scars from the destruction and decline of the mining industry. The message of the piece resonated loud and clear for the audience who were all drawn into the story of the Grimley Brass Band and the community it came to represent.

Of course many would have seen the iconic portrayal of this story in the 1996 movie version which starred the late and very talented Pete Postlethwaite, but even if you had seen that film it didn't take long for this play and the characters within it to assert themselves. This was honest and straightforward story telling, done with great passion and skill.

I'm not going to try and tell you that everything was pitch perfect but that doesn't matter - the whole cast and crew produced something wonderful out of their combined efforts.

The idea that a community pulling together can in some way reestablish some sense of local pride not only inhabited the plot but the people who told the story - it was a very moving thing to witness.

It was good fun too, there were lots of 'laugh out loud' moments and then we had the beautiful music which heightened the sense of time and place, the Newstead Brass Band did themselves no disservice and may well win new fans.

Brassed Off is gritty, the language is the language of the man in the street, the people we see are all recognisable as our neighbours and work mates. The actors playing the roles ARE our neighbours and work mates - this is why I could sit through the play again and again, it was real.

I know that some of the actors feel they could have been better, they have said as much in their Facebook postings, but this is one time when being human and not being perfect actually was, well about as good as you can get. I can't tell you who was good and who was bad - I can only tell you the whole thing was bloody marvellous!

I can only hope that the level of customer satisfaction I got for my £6.50 will be repeated in the more expensive tickets that I have purchased - but I doubt it. I will enjoy all the shows in their own way but I don't think I will leave any of the venues with the same level of joy as I felt last night in Mansfield.

This blog comes to you courtesy of Aspirin.

Hello and greetings to my coterie of confidantes, may I whisper in your ear?

I went to my bed feeling quite happy after seeing the dreams and plans of Simon Cowell swallowed up by the great British public and spat out all over the shiny suits and designer dresses that surrounded him on the BGT judges panel. They got it wrong and then in the height of ungraciousness they basically told the world we got it wrong! Amanda Holden couldn't wait to say out loud, Ronan should have won...even Ant and Dec had a little dig at poor old Jai.

I have said it before and I will say it again, if you want to make cash from punters voting don't be surprised if they sometimes remind you whose money it is.

I'm sure Ronan will find himself well looked after and poor Jai will have his day in the sun before joining Joe McElderry, Leon Jackson, Shayne Ward, Michelle McManus and countless others who the fickle British public loved for a little while before something shiny in the corner of the room took our attention and we forgot they ever existed.

Just as an aside, I'm probably the only one who remembers Ron Ely as Tarzan on the telly, but wasn't the little boy he worked with called Jai? I wonder if it is the same boy?

So, that was a nice end to a bad day, bad because I had one of my bouts of heart burn which really knocks the stuffing out of you.

Not being dead after my heart attack left me with a handful of medication that I have to take each day - I'm not alone in this I know, with pills for blood pressure and cholesterol and other things - six tablets a day including the dreaded aspirin.

I have a very delicate tummy and the aspirin irritates it quite badly and causes severe heart burn which is treated by one of the other six tablets I take, but occasionally the tablet seems to give up and the acid wins - the result is not good.

I'm sure that Simon Cowell has a similar feeling this morning....

You really have to be careful what you eat during such a bout but you know you have to eat so that the acid has something to work on other than your gullet. Dry bread with some wafer thin chicken - I really could have murdered a Rich Tea cream finger.

Anyway, feeling much better today, no butter on my crumpets and an extra cup of tea to help dilute the aspirin and let's keep our fingers crossed that it was a one day excursion into the ocean of pain, not the full cruise.

It is on days like today that I reflect how not being dead is quite good, but not as good as being alive - there is a difference.

In recent days some of my associates have been writing about milestone birthdays and how they want to set themselves goals and aim for new targets in their life - I used to think like that but now I think life is to short and unpredictable to be planned in that way - I just want to enjoy each day as best I can. I don't want to set myself up to fail and I don't want to put extra pressure on myself - we are like little fluffy ducklings on the tide of fate - we control so little of our lives that we should embrace where we are and who we are and then the next day do the same. You can maybe swim a little against the tide but be ready to say, OK - I'm here am I - what can I do here?

I still think we should have dreams and we should aspire to those dreams, like Jai, but most of us will be like Ronan, we will fall short and we should take the medicine, accept the occasional bout of pain and move on.


Now, go and have a nice day and remember this:


Life is occupied in both perpetuating itself and in surpassing itself. If all it does is maintain itself, then living is only not dying.

- Simone de Beauvoir