The View from the Hill on Thursday 17th June

I must apologise in advance for the use of a rude word - but yesterday I couldn't go anywhere without this word jumping out at me. It was everywhere, even in the local paper there were pages and pages where this word was used repeatedly...so I'm sorry but I'm only reporting the story(s) as told to me.

This lovely warm weather has caught some people out, some are wearing their summer clothes, others still frightened of the rain, get caught out in blazing sunshine in heavy jeans and the like - and this can cause some problems. In the local paper there was quite a lot of coverage about cockchafers and I just thought, well, warm weather and the wrong clothes - what do you expect! Then I read on and realised it was actually a story about some beetles that are infesting the gardens of Mansfield, they lay their eggs and you end up with little brown patches in your grass....I used to get that but it wasn't cockchafers it was dog eggs.

Anyhow, talcum powder seems to be the best way to prevent any further problems, talcum and loose cotton underwear.

I came back from visiting a family last evening and was still chuckling when I got in, I explained to Mrs B why. The lady that had died was well into her 80's and her family were telling me that she was a game old bird which was quite apt because she loved to feed the birds in the garden, she even had a trained robin which came when she called. One day her daughter arrived at the house to find her mother stood on the doorstep dressed in her dressing gown, ankle socks, slippers and curlers and at the top of her voice she was shouting "Cock!" She repeated the word several times in quite a desperate fashion and her daughter said to her "for goodness sake Mother - what are you doing?" "I can't find the robin" came her reply.

It turned out that this was the name she had given the little bird and for years she had been standing on the doorstep shouting for cock.

So, there we have it - two cock stories and no balls.

I just realised my dispersible aspirin tastes a bit sweet this morning and I am thinking perhaps I may have dissolved a sweetener instead - which means Mrs B has the aspirin in her tea!

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If the cock does not crow before sunset, either it will rain the next day - or the cock is dead!

Dutch Proverb

(I blame the fox)