Today, I joined the throng of faithful and devout worshippers, those who sacrifice their Sunday morning to pay homage at the altar of the one and only god. As I walked down the aisle I heard the strains of that most beautiful hymn - Celebration by Kool and The Gang.
You guessed it, I was in the temple of doom otherwise known as Tesco.
Everywhere you looked the uplifting effects of the Olympic Games were clear to see. Lots of smiling faces, the smell of sweat filled the air and hunky athletic men showed the world what a six pack really should look like as they paraded their majestic beer bellies in skin tight vest tops.
I was wearing a nice linen shirt and a pair of tailored shorts, my powerful white legs (very very white) supported my dash around the shopping synagogue as I secured a nice corn fed free range chicken, some fresh cauliflower (don't worry Miss Twillets, we have cheese sauce) and some carrot batons.
So swift was my journey through the lanes of this palace of purchasing pleasure, that I was on my marks at the checkout in a record time. If Mrs B had been with me, we would still have been looking for stuffing amongst the sauerkraut in the ever expanding Polish section.
Not that I have anything against the Polish having their own section, as a middle class man with some taste I can readily admit the fresh veg section is really only for me and my tribe, the majority of the competitors/worshippers manage to pass it by. And what a treat they missed today - multi coloured cauliflower! (I said don't worry Miss Twillets, it will all look the same when the cheese sauce gets to work).
So, there I was waiting for the starting beep of my final event, the culmination of years of training, this is what I had worked for - the moment of glory was upon me and as the young pasty faced boy reached his hand out for the first item I thought, this is it!
But then disaster struck - typical Team Tesco, he dropped the batons!
Oh well, better luck in four days when the next games are to be held in (drum roll)........Sainsbury's.
It has been a great two weeks, the Olympics have delivered on all levels and as I wrote last week, we didn't need to worry about medals and I really could not care less where we finished on the medal table.
For me it will be the memories of the Opening Ceremony, archery, canoe slalom, dancing horses and David Rudisha and Mo and Tom and John Inverdale and...well, it was all great. I cannot remember crying this much since they cancelled CSI Miami.
There was one moment that disturbed me though, a very offensive moment and totally against all that the Olympics stand for - it was when Meseret Defar of Ethiopia won the Women's 5'000 metres and in full view of the worlds media she reached inside her running kit and pulled out a picture of the Virgin Mary and started to pray...it was her faith that helped her win. I don't suppose she did any training then, just lots of praying. I know I'm being nasty and sniping at her faith but you'll get over it and if she is right and god is watching then she will win more races and I will be struck by a lighting bolt. It's a win win situation on so many levels!
The euphoria of the Games has been good for the country, I hope the closing ceremony is of an equal standard to the opening but if what I hear is to be believed and The Spice Girls are back, well that can't be any worse than Paul McCartney. I still think we should have Tom Jones singing Delilah to close the show, I bet everyone joins in.
OK, I have to go now and make cheese sauce and I wish all of you a happy Sunday and continued success as you run your race of life.
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