Greetings once again from the lofty hilltop palace of knowledge and your ever vigilant and thoughtful Guru.
The last few days have flown by in a blur of activity as I entertained the senior branch of the clan, the endless blur of garden centres and jacket potatoes leave my head in a spin. Although my body has been busy with the care of the elderly and bewildered my brain has been searching the universe for the answers to many questions, for example, if god exists why does he allow cruelty and famine to stalk the earth? Or even more seriously, why does he allow so much football on television?
Questions and answers - but sometimes a little light goes on and a bright idea pops into your head.
I see on the news a shepherd on Dartmoor has painted his sheep orange to stop them being stolen - this is nothing new, I determined long ago that 'orange' was a brilliant crime prevention strategy.
Let's examine the facts: no one has ever stolen Dale Winton.
Try this experiment at home - take one chocolate biscuit and one orange, leave them near a child and turn your back for 58.7 seconds - when you turn your back back, you will find the biscuit has been stolen and the orange has not.
Think about this - how many Buddhist monks get stolen each year? Not many - but Rabbi smuggling is big business!
It's no wonder Anne Robinson presents Crime Watch - with her blazing orange hair, she really scares the criminals!
I'm sure you can find your own example of how orange prevents crime, and the obvious exceptions including orange mobile tariffs which are daylight robbery!
So, take care and remember, as Shaw Taylor always used to say on Police 5 - 'Keep 'em peeled'!
But don't keep your oranges peeled as they are not as effective as a crime prevention tool.
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