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Saturday, 16 January 2010

The View from the Hill on Saturday 16th January

It would appear that Haiti is heading for complete breakdown, with the roads and the port in tatters, one runway only at the airport, they are talking a week before getting a strong foothold in the battered city of Port Au Prince. Meanwhile the survivors are thirsty, hungry and increasingly feeling abandoned and angry.

There will be a flood of refugees heading out of the area and the whole thing is looking desperate - I am sure that anyone who can donate funds has done but let me, for what it is worth, ask you to find some compassion and some cash for those who really need it.

There was an incident shown on the BBC yesterday that has not received the attention it might have - a man tugs at the shirt of a BBC reporter and say's "I've lost my wife". The reporter said "What will you do?" to which the man simply and quietly said "I don't know - what can you do for me?"

We are reliant upon the news feed  to keep us updated on the unfolding events but I wondered, do they ever get their hands dirty, do they help or just report? Then this morning a report of an Australian film crew preparing to film the devastation when they heard crying and they dug through the rubble to find and rescue a little girl aged about 18 months - her parents presumably dead.

Good for them, I thought, then you start to think about all the orphans and how a country like Haiti probably doesn't have the best social services set up in the world and what will happen to these children?

Things will no doubt come along today to upset your plans for the day - just swallow hard and think, at least I'm not in Haiti.

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WARNING: RUDE WORD IN TEXT
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On this day in 1908, the late great Ethel Merman was born.

Merman was a feisty lady, as was Katy Jurado who was also born on this day but in 1924.

What do these two ladies have in common - they were both at one time married to Ernest Borgnine.

Merman and Borgnine were married for a total of 32 days - it was  stormy affair.

One story, possibly apocryphal, reports that Merman (who was in her fifties) went for an audition for a role and came back to report to her husband that the producers had been impressed with her youthful approach, her skin and features fitness and vitality belying her years..."oh yes" said Borgnine "but what about your 60 year old cunt?". "You were never mentioned" she replied.

And that's a fact

Friday, 15 January 2010

The View from the Hill on Friday 15th January

I was struck yesterday, that in this day and age some people can live, reach a good age and die and leave such a small mark on the world - in fact I have been asked to conduct a funeral for a lady who lived such a reclusive and different life that at 81 she dies leaving barely enough of an impression to cover a sheet of A4.

I suppose it is only right that for every famous person who lives a busy life, travelling the world, meeting people, there has to be an opposite. Obviously we never hear about them because who is there to care?

Just a thought, and not my main topic for the day but I wanted to mention it.

The County Council want to sell off care homes to try and cut expenditure - I hope anyone with an elderly relative who might need care is prepared to fight this. From my own personal experiences I can say that Council run homes may not be the prettiest of places but the standard of care seems to be higher than in the private sector.

The elderly seem to have become a disposable asset, just get them out of the way for as little as possible, but when your time comes do you not want to be looked after by people who care and who get paid a decent wage for doing it?

It seems to me we need a wholesale reappraisal of caring for the elderly and the vulnerable and we should all have an opinion and express it because we are discussing our own future.

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On this day in 2001 Wikipedia was launched and I made a new friend, an invaluable tool in my fight to bring to you those facts which might otherwise slip by unnoticed.

There are some who tell you that Wikipedia is unreliable - let me tell you they are wrong! Wikipedia has never let me down, it always loads at the touch of a button or the click of a mouse.

Which reminds me, computer mice are so called not only because they look like mice but because the early prototypes actually had a mouse in them to supply the power - it's true, it was on Wikipedia.

Another amazing fact is that the amazing facts I bring to you each day are so amazing that even Wikipedia hasn't discovered all of them...

And that's a fact!

Thursday, 14 January 2010

The View from the Hill on Thursday 14th January

Not so icy outside today, just foggy, but I will risk a trip to Lincoln this morning.

I have been following with some amusement, the list of people on Facebook who are keen to tell the world what fine they should pay for their previous sexual and criminal behaviour, ranging from peeing in a swimming pool to having sex with strangers.

I haven't completed the task, not from any sense of prudishness, only the other day I spent some time on the phone with a lady of advanced years discussing her sex life - yes, I'm that sort of friend to some people, they feel they can open up and tell me anything and everything!

Obviously her identity will remain undisclosed, but she was quite happy to discuss how at 66 she had managed to bag herself a lover half her age and she then told me of the great sex they were having - well the weather has been bad and she couldn't get out so you need to keep warm to avoid hypothermia!

During the course of our chat, she reminded me of the fact that I had been the apple of her eye in the past and that she was not the only one who had designs on me. Now at this I pricked up my ears, (just my ears) because anyone with a pulse would like to think that they still might be attractive.

It was the second time in a week that I had been reminded of my raw sexual magnetism, although those who feel the attraction are not always those I might choose to have respond to it. I can say no more here without blushing.

I told Mrs B of these sexual revelations and she quite rightly threw herself at my feet, actually she fell to the floor laughing - back to reality.

Oh to be the flame and have all those moths fluttering around once more - you see I never noticed them the first time which is why my fine would have been pretty low.

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On this day in 1977, the author Anais Nin died. She was quite famous for her erotica.

She wrote about her steamy encounters with swarthy men (and women) and there was a lot of throbbing and sweat - I still think they were doing it wrong.

One of my distant relatives wrote their own collection of erotic poems, he was called Bob 'the Knob' Price and he wrote such masterpieces as :-

My love is like a red red rose, it's got greenfly but they feel nice as they crawl across your skin.

Or - Shall I compare thee to a summers day? No, your more like a wet weekend especially when I hit the spot!

Or - How do I love thee, let me count the ways. On the kitchen table, in the freezer section at Tesco, on the back seat of a Roadrunner bus, in the queue for the swine flu jab, at your granny's funeral, etc etc.

His fame was short lived, as was he himself - killed tying to reenact that final poem and electrocuting himself and his lover on a pylon near Llandudno

And that's a fact!

Wednesday, 13 January 2010




Fed up of the snow and the ice - this was a photo I took one morning in Venice. Not exactly a view from  my hill, but a view.
The View from the Hill on Wednesday 13th January

Just been hearing about the earthquake which has devastated Haiti and I was immediately struck by the thought that these natural disasters always seem to hit in those areas where the people are not well off in the first place. Living in poorly constructed houses which collapse so easily, the infrastructure already shattered, it does seem that if god exists, he has a really sick sense of humour.

It also makes me consider the fluke of being born in a country that is not on or near a fault line.

Understanding the pressures involved here, a seismologist explained it as follow: It's like a man pushing a grand piano, you push and push and it won't move then eventually it just shifts a little - and bang!

The amazing thing is that in doing a little research this morning I found the British Geological Survey earthquake page and found that in the last 30 days there have been about 8 quakes in the UK - the nearest to me was on Christmas Day, 1.7 centred on Stoke on Trent.

http://www.earthquakes.bgs.ac.uk/

Have a look - I have posted the link above.

It knocks everything else into perspective, human disasters like this one, and had deflected me from my original target today - The McCanns.

Mrs B told me I was not allowed to write about them but I was prepared to ignore her (just this once) - anyway, I still think they are daft, but I won't be expanding on that here today. (Mrs B sighs with relief).

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On this day in 2001, an earthquake hits El Salvador killing 800.

On this day in 1915 an earthquake hits Avezzano, Italy killing 29,800.

Obviously a bad couple of days for earthquakes - mark your diary for the 12th/13th January 2011.

On this day in 1961, Suggs was born...to be given the name Suggs seems like Madness!

And that's a fact!

Tuesday, 12 January 2010

The View from the Hill on Tuesday 12th January

Perhaps a return to some normal routine today - the snow is now slush although the ice is still lurking awaiting the unwary.

I fetched Mrs B back from work yesterday and had a couple of occasions when the back end twitched (the car that is) and so I was driving carefully, but apparently too carefully for one driver who overtook me at about 40 miles per hour (in a 30 limit) waving his fists and mouthing some obscenities. I hope he crashed.

Men are terribly impatient drivers, if they are not picking their noses they are leaning forward over the steering wheel, teeth bared like some demented Jenson Button wannabe. I happen to be the exception that proves the rule, I am a very patient driver which is why I always leave 30 minutes earlier than I have to, it means I can get to my destination safely and in time even if there is a diversion or holdup. What a little angel I am!

I suppose alienating my male readers is a bad idea, but be honest, the fact that we hate to have our driving skills criticised is very telling.

I didn't pass my driving test until after I was married, so I was never a boy racer, never had the Alfa Romeo or Ford Escort that so many of my contemporaries had, my list of cars runs like a what car not to drive, with Morris Marina and Triumph Acclaim being headline acts!

A car is a thing that gets you from A to B (hopefully) and the fact that some people treat them better than children or pets is a worry. I don't care if my car isn't shampooed and polished - it's a thing and it has no feelings about the matter so why should I?

It's like gardens, people worry about what others may think if they have a dirty car or a scruffy garden and I say, bugger off!

Anyway, writing this blog has meant that I might only leave 27 minutes early for my appointment today, but I won't panic and I won't drive like a maniac and I will do my best to stay on my side of the road.

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On this day in 1910, the actress Luise Rainer was born - Happy 100 to her.

I think the good lady lives in London, but she was born in Germany and in the course of her career she made only 24 appearances on film and TV and yet she won two Oscars, back to back Oscars indeed!

The trouble is she won them early in her career and it all went down hill from there, the curse of the Oscar being oft touted as a reason why she didn't achieve greater fame.

It's like Tom Hanks, he won two Oscars and whatever happened to him?

Anyway, no fun today but just a nod to a lady who has seen the world of film grow from it's earliest days of black and white to this modern world of mocap and CGI - and actors who don't quite have the charm of those old school stars.

And that's a fact!

Monday, 11 January 2010

The View from the Hill on Monday 11th January

The roads look dreadful, snow still falls, little tiny drops of white that join together to cause such chaos, joy and misery.

Danny is struggling, the poor old dog had a restless night which in turn gave Mrs B and myself  a restless night and leaves me in a little of a bad mood and in turn leads me to spit some poison in the direction of Iris Robinson.

I have tried not to comment on the situation in Ireland, the press and media have been all over it and the lady in question is apparently receiving psychiatric care - well, I don't care anymore - the hypocritical cow.

For someone who believes that the word of god can heal, she has been a great extoller of the virtues of psychiatric medicine - even offering to send homosexuals to a counsellor to allow them to be cured.

And to think this woman was in charge of policy decisions in her own country and this!

She is the spokesperson for health, youth and women - but it seems she spent much of her energy as a woman looking after healthy youths!

The more right wing the dirtier the little secrets seem to be, and I'm glad that some crusading journo has dug this little secret out of the closet and that she will be leaving politics, no doubt she can take solace in her religion, although as a pentecostal church attendee she has some explaining to do - I think she may have failed to reach the standard laid out in their beliefs of living a sinless life!

Grumpy I may be, and I take no joy in seeing anyone suffer but there is a certain degree of satisfaction in watching Iris Robinson burn in her own little hell, a hell she made all for herself - and she probably claimed for it on expenses!

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On this day in 1935, Melvyn Hayes was born. Happy 75th Birthday Gunner Gloria Beaumont.

It Ain't Half Hot Mum was a favourite programme of the past, a little less than PC with Michael Bates blacking up to play the Bearer Rangi Ram.

I also recall Melvyn Hayes being in all those Cliff Richard films like Summer Holiday which featured a big red London bus, and funnily enough it was the same bus later used in The Double Deckers, in which Melvyn Hayes played Albert.

There was for a little while, a story circulating about Melvyn and the bus - he was often seen stroking its upholstery and fondling the gear stick. It was common knowledge that he would attend filming sessions even when his character was not in the scene, just so he could be near the bus.

They had struck up a friendship filming Summer Holiday, well it was such a romantic and camp time, Una Stubbs was a bit of a matchmaker and she bought Melvyn and the bus together, she also introduced Cliff to his first tennis racquet.

Things were fine for Melvyn and the bus until the Double Deckers was cancelled and he was sent to the jungle and the bus was sent to play a bit part in On The Buses where it met and fell in love with Reg Varney.

Melvyn was devastated and now lives life as a recluse on the Isle of Wight.

And that's a fact!

Sunday, 10 January 2010

The View from the Hill on Sunday 10th January

I love a good film and I also love a good bad film, the words Michael Dudikoff are greeted with applause in this house!

Dudikoff was the king of the direct to dvd movie, with clips from other films being used to bolster a tiny budget, Mrs B and I have watched him fight every kind of terrorist in every possible location and we mustn't forget he was the American Ninja!

It's what cold winter afternoons were made for, sitting in the warm watching bad movies - excellent.

Yesterday it was Beyond The Poseidon Adventure - Michael Caine and crew slogging through the bowels of an upturned liner looking for loot and finding Telly Savalas and his band of terrorists - terrible film but compulsive viewing.

The cast list was like a Who's Who of Oscar winners - 16 nominations and 6 wins between them, but still absolute pants!

On IMDB it has a user rating of 3.8 - that's very low and one review states that the plot is thinner than wafer thin ham - (very funny, wish I'd thought of that) - but still fun to watch.

Do you have any favourite bad films - if you do let me know, we can start a bad film club.

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On this day in 1810 the marriage of Napoleon and Josephine was annulled - and today I see Ricky Groves and Hannah Waterman have split up, let's hope this doesn't set him off trying to invade Russia or something daft.

Whenever I think of Napoleon I think of that famous saying "Not tonight Josephine!"

Wonder what she wanted?

Perhaps she wanted to share his bar of fruit and nut, you know the one he kept tucked inside his jacket.

Anyway, we may never know what she wanted but we know what she got.

And that's a fact!