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Sunday, 24 October 2010

The Von Trapp Experience.

Well, here we are again...time for the Guru to dispense some warmth, some love and some sage advice.

Actually I have no sage advice other than it goes nicely with onion and chicken.

Myself and Mrs B are recently returned from our respite in the North Yorkshire Moors, sharing our retreat with friends who I shall refer to only as Mr and Mrs Smith (to protect their identity).

I have a few pictures to add some extra colour to the discussion, they will illustrate how I am at one with nature and how frisky I still am, able to scale tall mountains with only a minor loss of breath and style, singing all the way, the greatest hits of Dame Julie Andrews.

We were quite near the sea too and had the pleasure of walking the windswept beaches of Saltburn and other picturesque places all the way down to Robin Hood's Bay and Whitby.

As you will see I am a world class photographer with a sharp eye for detail and framing but I don't like to brag about these things, having innate skill and a strong artistic flair is just my luck and yours as I now get to share this with you all - you lucky people.

Funnily enough 'you lucky people' was the catchphrase of the late Tommy Trinder - I met him once, at the seaside. He was an old sad man, seeing out his final days as a compere of the show at Skegness for the season of 1983. We used to walk up and down the sea front and he would tell me stories of his glory days. It was sad to see a man who had been a great star in his day brought low and I determined that I would never let that happen to me! I will always be a great star.

Anyway, we stayed in a lovely Scandinavian style lodge, as shown above, which overlooked the wonderful Roseberry Topping, a monument to the magic of nature. Waking up and seeing it stand there every morning made me, Mrs B and The Smiths decide we should conquer it's majestic height - and so we packed our sandwiches and flasks and set off on a mighty expedition - little did we know it would turn into a real battle for life and death? It would have made the news but for some fuss about a mine in Chile.

Roseberry Topping - beautiful but deadly!

We set off with high hopes, singing our hearts out. Even our Sherpa, Daisy, was contentedly humming along in her own language which I think was Friesian. Daisy had been recommended to us by a local farmer, Daisy had been up and down the mountain more times that he could remember. She knew the safe paths and she knew the water holes and she also knew the weather patterns and could warn us if a storm was blowing up.

The journey started with a gradual climb from Gribdale Gate, we passed many other explorers, all wrapped up in their fleeces - actually I think they were sheep but seeing all those creature in dirty fleeces reminded me of Tesco and I couldn't have a blog without Tesco.

After fifteen minutes we stopped and made camp, we shared out some supplies - one finger of Kit Kat each, and then we headed off again. It was a bright and yet cold day, as we climbed higher it got harder to breath - the air can be thin at 100 metres above sea level you know!

After about one hour, we turned a corner of the track and the scene in the photograph opened up before us, the track winding away into the distance, the peak of Roseberry Topping. Daisy pointed the way and then suddenly she slipped and fell - we tried to save her but it was too late. The poor cow had stepped in some sheep poo and she simply slipped away down the slope. We decided to leave her where she fell, she loved that mountain and so it will be Daisy's final resting place. It also meant more Kit Kat for the rest of us.

Daisy - rest in peace.

We carried on and we made the top of the topping and we then found our way back to the cabin - we knew how lucky we were, we knew that it could have been one of us left up on that mountain not just Daisy. 

We changed and we went out to celebrate our success and to commemorate Daisy's sacrifice. We had fillet steak - and my goodness they were tasty!

Whitby Abbey


Somewhere quite close to the sea.

All in all a nice week in some beautiful countryside - but now back to reality, back to work.

Back to back episodes of Jamie Oliver too - thanks to Sky+.

Must go now, Mrs B needs a cup of tea and I am planning a new series of stories about a character Miss Twillets helped create last night - Bert Merkin and the Minge of Mystery!

It will be the adventures of a boy magician and his pubic wig, which he uses for disguises as well as harnessing its magical powers to defeat the evil Brazilian witch - Pudenda.

Have a nice day.

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