Saturday Supplement

Greetings my faithful followers, how would you like a little extra this sunny Saturday morning?

Mrs B and I have just had a few days away in Norfolk, we walked miles and Mrs B still has the sore feet to prove it.

We decided to visit Sandringham, and we are glad we did. We spent several hours wandering around the grounds and having a quick look through the house. Actually when we arrived, the place was not open so we just sort of wandered around waiting, but as the time approached for the gates to open we made our way back to the gate. The sign clearly stated that the gates opened at 10.30 and the house at 11am but this did not stop a family rushing to get ahead of Mrs B and I, very rude, very Scottish and I'm not sure which was more annoying.

Our First View

 The Queen was quite happy with us trailing around her garden, seeing her dead dogs, buying her banana loaf and a cup of tea, examining her old cars and discovering the wildlife before actually getting to the house and trampling through in our boots which were now covered in goose droppings. Liz didn't care though because she employs an army of local pensioners to pick it off with their false teeth when it dries.

We were quite glad of the goose droppings because it covered up the smell of the dead rabbit...let me explain.

Royal Ducks

As we were driving to Sandringham from our hotel in Old Hunstanton (Best Western Le Strange Arms - don't go, it's crap) it was clear that many poor little rabbits had failed in their efforts to cross the road. The carriageway was littered with their bodies, it was like Watership Down meets Hamburger Hill. Anyway, as we passed one bloated carcass, a lorry travelling in the opposite direction ran it over and the explosion of that dead rabbit was quite ferocious - our car was covered in rotting, stinking entrails and crap. Thank goodness my window was closed!

I tried to remove it with a tissue but it soon became apparent that I needed a bigger tissue than Mrs B actually carried in her handbag.

After we left Sandringham, we found one of the many hand car washes that have sprung up all around the country and for £6, the nice Romanian gypsies cleaned all the blood and guts from the car.

It was an action filled short break, Mrs B and I meandered across the cliff tops from Old Hunstanton to New Hunstanton although calling it 'New' is a bit of a joke, Slightly Soiled Hunstanton would be a better description. We managed to find a chip shop that was open and we noted the enterprising owner had cornered the market in selling bottles of ketchup - it was 10p for a little paper sachet of ketchup or £1 for a bottle. There were many leaving that chip shop with their chips in one hand and their Daddies in the other.

One of the greatest pleasures Mrs B and I share on these little breaks is people watching, I'm sure people must think we are quite mad as we burst out into laughter after spotting something that amuses us, we are in our own little world and on this trip, although it was 74 degrees, we noted that many people found it too cold to discard their fleeces! We were in our short sleeves and I had my hat on to prevent a burnt head and yet there were mothers telling children to put their jumpers on in case they got a chill.

Mrs B is the one on the right!

I understand old people feeling the cold, it's like human years and dog years, 74 degrees for young people is about minus 16 for a anyone over 80.

Of course we did have that one person who insisted on walking around Sandringham in his skin and a very snug pair of shorts (Mrs B noticed they were snug not me), we were hoping Prince Phil would pop out from behind the shrubbery and shoot him - but no such luck.

I nearly forgot to say, in the Museum we saw the belongings of Captain Frank Beck, the Kings Agent who led his men to Gallipoli in WW1 and what followed was the story filmed as All The Kings Men, with David Jason and myself. One of us had the lead role and one of us was man with donkey - you work it out.

Apart from a rip off hotel with crap service, we had a nice time and are now looking forward to more adventures as we travel the world, although this morning it will be a short trip to B&Q for a letter box - how exotic!

Thank you for reading my children, go about your business in good humour and take this one piece of advice for free - avoid dead rabbits!

A Day for Fleeces?