The View from the Hill on Saturday 3rd October

First of all I thought I'd let you see what progress Spider Man is making on trying to ensnare my car!

Spiders and webs, brings me onto an apology. I have been spying on you all, using the latest state of the art technology I have put a little thingy on the blog and every time you visit it shows me where you are etc.

I was pleasantly surprised by the number of visitors as well as the locations, all around the UK and then to my surprise Missouri and California!

As far as I know I do not have family in those locations, so I can only assume it is some poor unsuspecting person who has stumbled across the blog by mistake and now can't tear themselves away...or it's the FBI.

I love America! O say can you see, by the dawns early light....

I have already told you all about our trip there, three weeks driving around the West Coast and a week in Hawaii, perhaps a few more details will go down well across the pond.

Lo Angeles, went to Disney and did the Hollywood experience, saw Little Richard getting his star on the Walk of Fame. Saw the druggies hanging around Graumman's Chinese Theatre too!

San Diego, did the zoo and Sea World, stayed in a hotel with a beautiful pool, we went for a swim in the evening, it was nice and warm, the locals thought we were mad as it must be freezing. The room had a bed in that was so big, we could lay on opposite sides and reach out our arms without touching!

Palm Springs, very nice, very hot. Ordered a Cob Salad, they bought so much food it was unbelievable.

Phoenix, Death Valley, Grand Canyon (that was magic, we arrived at sunset and the colours were breathtaking) Las Vegas, the National Parks, San Francisco, Pebble Beach, back to Los Angeles and a tour of Universal Studios.

All of these places were amazing, they do have some wonderful scenery and some very nice people too.

There, hope that makes my US readers happy, that although I sometimes have a dig at their ex President and their religious fundamentalist idiot churches, I would love to visit again.

Lot's of work today, Tesco to visit, wall paper to finish stripping etc etc.

Windy weather but hopefully nicer tomorrow for the AHC thing at Rufford.

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The View on what to View:

X Factor & Strictly in front of the fire, you choose the order.

The View from the Hill on Friday 2nd October

The Association of Humanist Celebrants is holding a social gathering on Sunday. The Secretary was charged with the responsibility of organising the event and finding a location that suited the needs of the event and was as central as possible to the membership.

The membership ranges from Bournemouth and Cornwall to Liverpool and the North East, the Midlands seem to be the obvious choice therefore, which is why the Secretary chose to hold the event in Rufford Country Park, Nottinghamshire. Road links are good, M1 and A1 within a few miles, and the Secretary even organised a Sunday lunch at £7 per head. Well done Mr Secretary.

From a total membership of 60 plus, there will be 12 attending.

Did I mention that I was the Secretary and that I have been having kittens trying to sort this out!?

Trying to balance the conflicting needs of people who are members of a group because they love to express their individual opinions makes for hard work and I don't relish the the challenges of the next Secretary when he or she takes over after I hand in my letter of resignation!

We have some lovely members in the organisation, people with long experience of Humanist ceremonies including the man who conducted Ronnie Barker's funeral and the celebrant who officiated at Keith Floyd's funeral just this week. The AHC is the home for the disaffected celebrants from other organisations, organisations which are either too strict or not strict enough, we offer a home to the celebrants and our main rule is we don't impose what 'humanism' should mean, we leave it to the individual to decide;that's what appeals to me.

I pretty much plough my own furrow, and after more than 500 funerals I understand what families need, and they always need the same which is something different. (Does that make sense?)

Anyway, off to add finishing touches to the plan for Sunday, make sure the horde have contact numbers etc.

I will report back after the event to let you know what happened.

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The View on what to View:

Friday 9pm ITV - has to be Benidorm.

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The View from the Hill on Thursday 1st October

I noticed a little story in the news which has triggered some memories which I feel obliged to share.

The story was about JK Rowling and how she was put forward to receive the Presidential Medal of Freedom (or something like that) from George Bush, but then someone said perhaps this was a bad idea, recognising her achievements, the reason being that she promoted witchcraft! Only in America and only under George W Bush.

This is another example of how their religious fundamentalism makes them look like idiots - well that's my opinion and it is my blog!

I get the impression that if George Bush had been in charge during the late 60's we would as children have missed out on one of my favourite TV shows (here come the memories) Bewitched.

Samantha and Darren, Endora, Larry Tate, Aunt Clara, Dr Bombay, Uncle Arthur, all these characters and many more still sit in the back of my mind and occasionally surface and they always bring a little smile with them. And we mustn't forget the cutest kid on TV, little Tabitha.

George Bush would not have approved of a witch living amongst normal people, perhaps fearful she would fly her broomstick in a dangerous manner.

The simple truth is that more damage is caused in this world by people who believe in George Bush and his god than by witches.

There are religions in this world where the ill treatment and sacrifice of live animals is still part of their ceremonial, there are religions which deny equality to the sexes, there are religions who believe they are better people than others and have a right to tell us that loudly and in America there is a freedom of religious expression which means the most fervent of these awful churches can live and breath and grow openly, I'm thinking of churches like the Westborough Baptists who I hate.

I think I'd rather live in a world influenced by Harry Potter than George Bush to be honest and I sometimes wish I could twitch my nose and make all religious fundamentalism disappear.

I suppose this means I won't get the Presidential Medal of Freedom now - bugger!

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The View on what to View:

Thursday - C4 at 9pm The Jaycee Lee Story

The View from the Hill on Wednesday 30th September

I have an early departure time this morning, I have to be in Doncaster at 9.30am, this means driving up the A1 which is not quite as bad as it used to be thanks to the road improvements.

The M1 is another kettle of fish, I think on the local news they have got a permanent display which states, "problems on the M1". Most of the time it is a breakdown in the roadworks or an accident and the accident will have been caused by a broken down vehicle in the roadworks.

I travel quite widely across Notts, Lincs and Derbyshire and the standard of some of the driving is scary, and that's just me!

There is a roundabout at Newark where the A46 crosses the A1, the road is clearly marked and signed which lane should be taken for which route but invariably there will be someone who ignores that and just drives where they want, I know have my hand positioned on the horn as I approach that roundabout. Of course criticising the driving of others is dangerous, none of us like to be told that we are bad drivers, in fact as we drove to Horncastle the other day I pointed out to Mrs B a small error in her positioning ,well it caused a little friction!

It reminds me of my late grandparents, Bernie and Lil. I was once stopping with them during the school holidays, I was about 10 or 11 I suppose, and it had been decided that we would take the drive from their home in the south of Lincolnshire to see the newly constructed Humber Bridge.

Now, Bernie and Lil had a loving relationship but it was love often expressed in their own way and occasionally they may have had the odd disagreement (I can hear family members laughing now).

We set of in what I think was a Ford Anglia, and as usual before we left there had been words exchanged about delays in getting ready and where was the map and many other things. As we continued on the journey the odd words were exchanged about other matters but the further we got from home the more I realised that my granddad was not perfect.

He didn't know the roads and he took the odd wrong turn and we occasionally had to backtrack and when we arrived on the A17/A15 roundabout at Sleaford he and my grandmother were having a big debate about which way to go. The sign was quite clear however, Grimsby was right.

The A17 is dual carriageway, the roundabout is large, the Ford Anglia was slow and we were in the slow lane, but at the roundabout seeing the sign said right, my grandfather followed the sign and turned right and we circumnavigated the roundabout the wrong way and calmly exited onto the A15. We avoided the on coming traffic with a sort of surreal grace, in hindsight I think this car must now belong to Harry Potter.

I ask you now to imagine the scene inside that car, a near death experience had occurred and we were obviously lucky to have not caused a bad accident, can you imagine the language? Well let me tell you exactly what was said...not a bloody dicky bird! Total silence for the next half hour.

It was never spoken of, as if it had never happened. we completed our journey and we saw the new bridge and then we drove home again, this time using the roundabout correctly.

Now I must rush and soak my granola, have my medication and bugger off to South Yorkshire.

I might have a second cup of tea and I might make use of the Tea Tool which mysteriously and anonymously arrived through the letter box. Thank you.

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The View on what to View:

Wednesday - 10.00 on Five Dog Soldiers.

The View from the Hill on Tuesday 29th September

Anti-Social Behaviour; this is the phrase that seems to be all over the news this morning and already the good and the great are queuing up to give their ideas for stopping it or just wanting to have their say about how disgusting some people are to their fellow men.

I think that one part of this problem has always been overlooked, and that it is it cannot be solved! There is no answer, these incidents will sadly continue because we do not have sufficient options or the real will to tackle the causes.

The Home Secretary was saying that there are more Police than ever so resources is not an issue, perhaps this is true in a numeric sense, but what is the number of Police per head of population now compared to say 25 years ago? And I don't mean PCSO's, I mean real Police Officers.

We have one locally identifiable officer for our area but (sorry about this) in my day we had five or six officers for each estate, 24 hour coverage 7 days a week and they stayed in the area long enough to get to know the people.

They are now thinking that parents of ASBO brats should have their benefits stopped, well first of all not all of the parents will be on benefits and doesn't it show how the ruling elite think?

But if you stop the benefits of a family, if you threaten them with losing their homes, where do they go? You really want to end up with the worst families with the worst kids roaming the countryside looking for any opportunity to make a quick buck? You see, there just are not enough options because we are driven by our humanity and regard for the law and the little shits who cause such misery are protected by European Human Rights Laws and legislation that is already in place that says a local authority has a duty to house people and protect children.

What about corporal punishment, what about conscription, what about etc etc will come the Daily Mail list of things we should do, but we can't do any of them.

The more you think about it the more you see there is very little we can do to prevent these awful situations from arising.

Parenting Orders are all well and good, but who delivers them, over sees them, in a financial climate where public spending is to be cut after the election?

Sorry to be the bringer of doom and gloom today, but what you will hear all day from those who want your vote is, WE have the answer...well if you have the answer now, when did you find it and why didn't you have it before?

I don't have an answer, I do think that young people themselves are the ones who never get involved in trying to solve the problem, perhaps if we could engage them somehow, ask them what they need or want. What harm could it do?

Invariably, some young people and some parents are so far beyond the pale it is a pity we can't just beam them into oblivion, but I suppose the next best thing is a ghetto, with a big wall and we put them all in there and make sure they can't get out. If they have new babies we can rescue them and nurture them so they become good citizens rather than pint sized terrorists. Well, it's a plan, any takers?

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The View on what to View:

Tuesday BBC1 10.45 Richard Wilson Two Feet In The Grave.

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The View from the Hill for Monday 28th September

I want you to consider how easy it is to 'go with the flow' in life, to accept all those things that everyone else accepts as right, to live with the received wisdom of the multitude. Life is easy isn't it?

Sometimes, just occasionally, someone puts their head above the parapet and risks an alternative view, my blogging sister did so yesterday and her thoughts on the subject of Eva Cassidy made me think for a little while before I drifted back into conformity.

Yesterday I was visiting friends with Mrs B, we were in Horncastle and as it was a nice day we sat in the garden and cremated sausages. As we sat, chatting about what life might hold for us as we creep towards decrepitude, we were overflown by the Battle of Britain memorial flight, minus the Lancaster initially. All eyes drawn skyward, we watched the graceful machines as they cut a path through the sky en route to their destination.

A short while later they returned and this time as they circled above we noted the Lancaster had joined them, what a majestic sight and a beautiful noise that plane makes. I love to hear the noise of those engines and see that big old bird fly past.

So, there I was, happily going with the flow I'm sure, but then on the way home from a lovely relaxing day, there in the sky above Lincoln were the Red Arrows performing a tightly choreographed loop. In the words of Marvin Hamlisch, "I felt nothing".

You see like my sister who obviously detests Eva Cassidy, I hate the Red Arrows. I know it's seems like some kind of heresy and totally unpatriotic, but I just think they are naff and boring.

I don't understand what they are for, what do they achieve?

I don't think I have ever said it out loud but I am bored stiff by The Red Arrows.

It feels good to get it off your chest, and sometimes we all ought to give it a try, I mean what harm could it do? Go on, unburden yourself, say it out loud. Disagree with the received wisdom, take a stance against the accepted, swim against the tide for a change.

I await your responses.

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The View on what to View:

Monday 9pm on Five - FlashForward. It can't be any worse than Lost!

BTW, this is the last week for The View on What To View, it will be replaced as of next Monday with a new exciting addition to The View From The Hill.

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The View from the Hill on Sunday 27th September

I don't have much to say today, feeling a little melancholic so I decided to spread it around, why should I be miserable alone!

I presume you have all heard the story of Greyfriars Bobby, the little dog that sat on his masters grave for fourteen years, the loyalty of the little chap was celebrated in film on several occasions and by a statue.

The story is heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time, the fact it is a dog makes us think of his actions as being loyal and we would never for one moment think, what a waste of life.

I can tell you that there is a human equivalent in my local crematorium, a lady who visits every day and sits weeping in the chapel between services for the loss of her beloved husband. She has not missed a day for the last 7 years, and every day she sits and cries and mourns her loss. I don't think she will have her story made into a film, the staff at the Crem are good to her but they leave her to her own devices, she doesn't speak to anyone, just her dead husband.

When someone dies we are often told life must go on for those who are left behind and I agree with this totally, but we don't actually mean that we have to go on living as in existing do we, we mean that we should get out there and do things, make the time we have left count for something.

I am not going to judge that lady for her choice of what she does with her life,but it would not be what I would want Mrs B to do, and I suspect she wouldn't. (Probably be off chasing Michael Ball).

How we deal with death is as individual as how we live our life isn't it?

I don't know what has prompted this little missive this morning, but there we go, the words to the poem I read so often have started floating through my mind, Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep.

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The View on what to View:

Sunday 5pm on Five - one of my favourite films, The Princess Bride. Excellent fun.