The View from the Pool on Saturday 1st August....pinch punch!

Do you do that? First of the month, pinch punch...you actually pinch and punch someone and first in wins. We didn´t do it until introduced to it by friends who get very competitive over the whole thing and have the bruises to show for it.

It is one of those silly traditions and superstitions that Humanists really should avoid, but our everyday lives are so full of these sorts of things it is hard to avoid them, walking under ladders, letting black cats cross your path, crossing on the stairs, hearing a sneeze and saying bless you. Perhaps there are some out there who deliberately walk under ladders, who ignore cats and when they hear a sneeze say nothing, perhaps their Humanism means more than being human.

I don´t think that any dogma or religion or anti religion should rule every thing you do every day, it should be a guide for life but not a step by step route plan.

The majority of people in the world just seem to get by on living and doing the best they can as each situation arises, they use their moral compass, their experience, their intellect and make choices...I know we have been here before dear listener...and our choices define who we are.

So, I chose today to be a slightly soft Humanist and say pinch punch and then move on with another day by the pool.

Enjoyed the tapas last night and the people watching was magnificent, such a variety of creatures passed before our eyes, from local people to smart Italians, grunge and high fashion, young and old,even some Lebanese gents buying shorts, and all out enjoying the evening and no fighting in the streets, no being made to feel uncomfortable by gangs of yobs. Oh dear, I´m turning into a Daily Mail reader.

The View from the Pool on Friday 31st July

I really have not been giving the blog my full attention, hardly surprising as it is disarmingly warm and relaxing here.

But I have been in contact with one of my readers who has now started an email blog of her own...what have I started!

The idea of writing everyday for me was to give me an anchor point each day in which I knew I had something to do, you see when I am at home having nothing to do really bothers me. I know there are always jobs to be done, but domestic chores are not what I get stressed about, it is work and feeling useful that I need. An empty diary is my greatest fear.

Luckily, I have found it easy to relax on this holiday, and the fact that two funeral directors have rung me and arranged funerals for when I get back helps with that relaxation.

I´m not a workaholic, far from it, I love my leisure time, but having invested so much of me into my work, the fear of it ending is quite real.

Not much fun in this blog, perhaps Florrie will send us something cheerful about bats and badgers but in the meantime, back to relaxing...by the way finished The Strain and started looking for Part Two and found a trailer for a tv version hopefully on its way, whoopee!

The View from the Pool on Thursday 30th July

A shorter view this morning as I am just preparing for a trip to Cuitadella (pronounced thootadoodle-a) I really am getting to grips with the language now!

Have normally taken a large number of books on trips like this in the past but on this trip I have downloaded audio books on the ipod and I have to say I am enjoying the process of laying down in the sun and having a book read to me.

I am listening to The Strain Part 1 by Guillermo Del Toro and Chuck Hogan, an excellent listen read by Hellboy actor Ron Perlman. Del Toro has a dark vision for the world, like his film Pan´s Labyrinth, this is a very dark piece, well constructed and full of detail.

I have about one hour left of this first part of the trilogy and then I will be listening to Series One of Count Arthur Strong...another dark and surreal world!

Must fly now...may pop back later for a second view. Adios amigos.

Here is the View from the Pool on Wednesday 29th July

Travel they say improves the mind, an irritating platitude - these lines from Noel Coward are the starting point for today's ramblings. Coward was aiming his poisonous barbs at the hordes of American tourists who he saw as despoiling the world with their coca cola and ketchup, he wrote so wittily of their nature and lampooned them for not improving their minds. Does travel improve the mind? Can a vacation for the body lift the spirit?

I have certainly learned some things about my holiday location, for example Minorca and Majorca are named after big whales and little whales, major Orcas and mini Orcas...it all makes sense you see! Ibiza means island with no whales but lots of Japanese tourists!

Of course the Canary Islands are named as they are because Delia Smith bought them with the proceeds of all her cookery books and she is a big fan of Norwich City.

Madeira is named after a sweet wine, Liebfraumilch.

There are other parts of the world that are named for the people or the produce of the area, or a skill they possess. The Chinese are named after the restaurants they established all around the world.

Of course one of the main reasons to take a holiday is to relax and perhaps avail yourself of the local culture and food, Mrs B loves a Menorcan sausage.

If you go to mainland Spain you can also let the tradition of Eastern European gypsy remedies ease your stress, as you walk along you will be inundated with beautiful gypsy girls who will thrust a flower into your top pocket with a huge smile, you sniff the flower and all your troubles dissipate, the smell of that flower so strong and heady that you fail to notice your pocket has been picked, it´s called Roma Therapy.

Have a nice day.

The View from the Pool on Tuesday 28th July

Not much news from home but I thought I should offer a view on the recent deaths of Harry Patch and Henry Allingham. At a combined age of 224, these two men had seen the world at the worst of times.

With so many of our young men and women laying down their lives in foreign lands it does make you think about those wars to end all wars and shows that actually war begets war rather than ends it.

I know, I can hear you say, here comes all that pacifist crap - I´m not really a pacifist, and I know it´s better to fight for something than to get knocked down for nothing, but it does seem that recent deaths have been for nothing.

Anyway, have you heard the saying there are old soldiers and bold soldiers but no old bold soldiers. Bit of an insult to those who survive I feel, they will have enough guilt without crap like that, and I think there is real bravery and boldness in those old soldiers who remind us of the futility of war, like Harry Patch when he said war is organised murder.

It is the soldiers who die and the soldiers who live that are equal in their boldness, we owe them an equal debt.

Take the time today to read the poem A Common Soldier, by A Lawrence Vaincourt...I think it says it better than I ever could.

Just A Common Soldier
by A. Lawrence Vaincourt


He was getting old and paunchy and his hair was falling fast,
And he sat around the Legion, telling stories of the past
Of a war that he had fought in and the deeds that he had done,
In his exploits with his buddies; they were heroes, every one

And tho' sometimes, to his neighbors, his tales became a joke,
All his Legion buddies listened, for they knew whereof he spoke
But we'll hear his tales no longer for old Bill has passed away,
And the world's a little poorer, for a soldier died today

He will not be mourned by many, just his children and his wife,
For he lived an ordinary and quite uneventful life
Held a job and raised a family, quietly going his own way,
And the world won't note his passing, though a soldier died today

When politicians leave this earth, their bodies lie in state,
While thousands note their passing and proclaim that they were great.
Papers tell their whole life stories, from the time that they were young,
But the passing of a soldier goes unnoticed and unsung

Is the greatest contribution to the welfare of our land
A guy who breaks his promises and cons his fellow man?
Or the ordinary fellow who, in times of war and strife,
Goes off to serve his Country and offers up his life?

A politician's stipend and the style in which he lives
Are sometimes disproportionate to the service that he gives.
While the ordinary soldier, who offered up his all,
Is paid off with a medal and perhaps, a pension small

It's so easy to forget them for it was so long ago
That the old Bills of our Country went to battle, but we know
It was not the politicians, with their compromise and ploys,
Who won for us the freedom that our Country now enjoys

Should you find yourself in danger, with your enemies at hand,
Would you want a politician with his ever-shifting stand?
Or would you prefer a soldier, who has sworn to defend
His home, his kin and Country and would fight until the end?

He was just a common soldier and his ranks are growing thin,
But his presence should remind us we may need his like again.
For when countries are in conflict, then we find the soldier's part
Is to clean up all the troubles that the politicians start

If we cannot do him honor while he's here to hear the praise,
Then at least let's give him homage at the ending of his days
Perhaps just a simple headline in a paper that would say,
Our Country is in mourning, for a soldier died today.

The View from the Pool on Monday 27th July

As I lay by the pool yesterday, staring up into the clear blue cloudless sky, I was struck by the quietness of this place. The only sound that shattered the silence was the occasional buzz of a passing insect, of which there are many.

There are indeed a myriad of creatures here that are so different from those seen at home,a real chance to think about creation and how clever god would have been if he existed: long live Darwin.

Lizards, scorpions, beetles and huge dragonflies sweeping over the swimming pool, hovering and dipping their tails into the water. Is this fascinating behaviour allowing then to drink or perhaps crap in the water, I wish Dawkins was here!

If you believe in reincarnation,this would be a great place to be reborn, nirvana for Buddhists, the Dalai Llama would love it. Have you ever wondered how many Buddhists actually get reincarnated as Llamas, South America must be full of them!

My old man said follow the van and don´t dilly dalai llama on the way
Off went the van with my home packed in it, I followed on with my old cock linnet which in a previous life had been a haberdasher from Goole.

You can´t beat the old songs, anyway back to nature, all the lovely creatures buzzing around the place, how pretty they look and difficult they are to squash, but I will keep trying...irritating little bastards!

The View from the Pool for Sunday 26th July.

The journey was long but we arrived safely and only heard one sneeze the whole day.

The temperature is officially bloody hot, sitting quietly in the shade by the side of the pool is as much as I can cope with today, it´s a terrible job but someone has to do it!

Over the course of the next week or so, my reports from Menorca might appear at different times of the day depending on what else has to be done, like swimming or drinking cold beer or spending time with my old friend, the blind cat.

I like cats, and this cat is remarkable, blind as Captain Cat, there in the muffled middle...sorry slipping into Dylan Thomas, it must be the heat!

Over the years there have been many cats in my life, like the giant farm cat called Shrimp whose favourite trick was to wait above the door way and as you passed through drop on your shoulders knocking you face down on the farm yard, not a nice place to have your nose pressed into. There was also a certain cat named Soup and a ginger cat named Carter, who lived to a good age but always will be fondly remembered by my wife for that occasion she awoke to find him shagging the teddy bear on the end of the bed.

Oh well that´s enough time sat at the laptop, off to the pool again, I will get some photo´s uploaded when I can be arsed.

Have a nice day. Adios.