The View from the Hill on Friday 25th December
Here we go then, it's Christmas Day. Seasonal greetings to you all. By the way, we remembered what it was we forgot, tinned oranges for the trifle - making do with fruit salad and chocolate blancmange.
I have had the best start to a Christmas that I can ever recall, seeing that lady leap the security barriers (new name required) and tackle the Pope was hilarious, although I suppose I shouldn't laugh as the daft old Nazi could have died, he is 82 you know!
Today we will have messages from the religious leaders telling us all how naughty we are and how we should embrace the church if we want to save our souls and the world.
They seem to go into overdrive just because it is Christmas and we fall for it, one church in Nottingham, in fact the church in which Mrs B and I were married, was so inundated with people wanting to sing carols, they had to put on two extra services.
And this is one reason that even on this Christmas Day I feel able to take aim at and fire little barbs of scorn and wit at the organised church and religion - because no matter what I say or do or believe, it would appear that this Jesus chap has done his work well and has managed to weave his magic into our society.
The message behind the birth of a child and his good deeds in life, his sacrifice and his message of love and forgiveness, well this is a strong brew and hard to resist totally. And most people can ignore it but at times like this, they are willing to look past the glaring questions that are thrown up and just put their faith in the story of Jesus and his God.
So, there we go, an admission on this Christmas Day that although I would love to rid the world of churches and bishops and Popes, I know that we cannot win, christianity is strong, it has survived two thousand years and it can stand all the rubbish I throw at it.
Anyway, those of you who read this blog and who believe in Jesus, I wish you a Merry Christmas and to those of you who like me do not believe, well get yourself to Youtube and watch the Pope being tackled and say three cheers for the mentally unstable woman in the red top.
On this day....well you know what happened ALLEGEDLY on this day, so let's leave it there.
Let me pose you some questions instead, questions that keep me awake at night and questions that you might have the answer to.
When Jesus took off, wandering the countryside spreading his message instead of working, was he on benefits?
What did Mary do with all that frankincense?
Who was Jehosaphat and what made him jump?
What does Gordon Bennett say when he feels like saying Gordon Bennett?
What does Geronimo say when he leaps out of an airplane?
What's any of this got to do with Christmas?
Anyway, going to kill the turkey now, he has had a nice couple of days in the spare room, he has eaten the Paxo I left for him and after a shower I will chop his little head off and then hold a small celebration of his life before banging him the oven. The sprouts are looking well on their way to being a green mush in the bottom of the pan.
Have a great day everyone, hope you (like me) get to spend time with those you love, spare a thought for those who can't for whatever reason, and enjoy life!
Time now for breakfast, crumpets and a glass of Harvey's Bristol Cream.